An Ode to Love

Most women know and expect at a young age to find real, true love. They imagine cold rainy days made warm, magical adventures, tuxedos and white gowns. Homes and lives of their dreams come true because they found the one person they were meant to be with.

Most women also know that they will end up having a few great loves. I’m not talking Big v. Aiden here. No, I’m talking Crispy v. Pretzel.

In high school, our vending machine (oh the horror, don’t judge middle upper class NJ suburbia please, we do it for you) one day had M&Ms in a BLUE wrapper. BLUE! The color I just voted to add to the traditional selection, BLUE! How could I not buy it? It didn’t have any sort of nut, and it wasn’t dark chocolate so I was in. I reached into the machine, pulled it out and tried something called “Crispy M&Ms”.

Always the Twizzler, never the true chocolate lover (lactarded), Crispy M&Ms and I lived a great life together. For a few short years, until Mars Inc. put it on the discontinued list. Sadness overwhelmed as I searched for the few last remaining packages in stores as they opened the last cases.

About two years ago, I stopped into a little convenience store to pick up a local paper. At the register I noticed the divine blue packaging staring back. Immediate thoughts entered “BUY NOW” “YOU NEED” “EAT” “Umm those were definitely discontinued years ago” “Dust settling=those have been here for years” “DO IT ANYWAY”. I bought the last 4 or 5 packs. Just as delicious as I remember, and no, I had no interest in checking the best buy date.

Cue last week at CVS.

THE BLUE BAGS ARE BACK. This time, not a rice crispy, nope. A PRETZEL. Even better. There are significantly less M&Ms in a package because the pretzel is large. What sayeth? These M&Ms are healthy! (ha) Less M&Ms=less fat=less bad stuff=no stomach ache=happy me!!

Even the wrapper is adorable. A little scared orange M&M holding an x-ray screen to reveal a pretzel. How can you not try it?

I bought 1 bag. I loved it and only ate half to savor it again later. Ate the rest the next morning. Went to CVS, found out they were on sale for $.49. Left with 11 bags.

This can’t end well.

Dear Mars, don’t break my heart again.

Grilled Cheese? Tomato soup is gross.

I am sometimes, admittedly, naive. I get it. This seems to happen more so in social circles than in a business setting. For some reason, I was born with a pretty logical brain and can pick up things in business settings very quickly, along with being able to read people, etc. Socially? Well, it took me a few seconds to realize the joke the car salesguy said about living in tight quarters when we gave a po box as an address. But I try, and sometimes it works.

A few weeks ago at my current place of employment, I discovered that the 'grill-master' makes amazing grilled cheese sandwiches. I ask for mine with lettuce and tomato.

Recently, I've read TWO articles in the "love letters" section of the Boston Globe that referred to hanky panky as "grilled cheese".

I'm sorry.. WHAT!?

In what Julia Roberts movie did she ever say she was going to have grilled cheese that night. NONE. And in "The Devil Wears Prada"? They ACTUALLY eat grilled cheese. Has this term always been around and used in that light? Do people just know this stuff once they reach a certain age? Did I miss the memo? (No seriously, did I? Let me know.)

Yesterday I felt a little dirty ordering my lunch. So today I will be going outside the building to find nourishment.