"Bee situation has escalated to def con 3"
That is an exact text message that I have kept in my inbox since last August, just because its hilarious.
Last summer we noticed bees flying INTO our house from the outside.. not through windows, or a door, or a vent... just a little crack in the cinderblock walls that make up the walk out basement. There were a LOT of them... but we sprayed and just hoped they would go away.
Then we noticed some inside the basement. Turns out, they built themselves some sort of evil hive inside the cinderblock walls and many of them found their way "out" through a super tiny little hole inside the basement. First we noticed some flying around thinking the window would let them out. Then we noticed some dying on the floor. Then, hundreds dead on the floor.
"How big is that hive?" I daringly asked a few times. No one is certain and the landlord just thought spray would fix it.
Last summer we also noticed a very small beehive inside a window on the 2nd floor (same wall). That was taken care of and nothing new happened.
Last week, sitting right here at my desk I heard buzzing. I thought something was stuck in the window screen or whatever. I heard this day after day but forgot to mention it. Yesterday morning I heard it again and told BF last night.
He started to smack the walls seeing if something would make a noise. At one point he slammed between the two windows and a bee FLEW outside at warp speed. He sprayed.
This morning I hear it again.
And.
Its angry.
I have a very bad feeling that if the wall/whole side of the house was stripped from the outside, there would be nothing but beehives insulating the structure.
To be continued, I'm sure...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
My world is NOT your ashtray
This post could also be called: How I arrived at work smelling like a cigar, and arrived home wearing the scent of cigarette.
And I'm not happy about it.
This morning, all was well, running slightly early (one would say running early enough to post office it and allow father's day cards to arrive on time) until traffic on my little backroad slowed to a standstil. One would no longer say post office is ok get over the fact they might not arrive until Monday, and rather- its rush to get to work but maybe have a minute to spare to pick up a muffin type of morning.
As I'm stuck waiting at a traffic light for nearly half a mile, I realize that my car smells, like burning. Naturally I begin to worry thinking my car is about to implode and I start to stick my head out the window to "smell around". What, your parents never did that?
Anyway, I start looking at other cars, and houses to make sure the smell isn't coming from them also. Directly in front of me is an early 90's Oldsmobile.... and after staring intently, I see fine smoke leaving the driver's side window. It took me a little while to realize it was a cigar. For personal and totally sane reasons, I just hate that smell. Plus, I might be allergic to it. Of course I end up behind this guy for the next 4.5 miles, on backroads where the cigar smell leaving his car has no where to go but inside mine. He finally turns off the road and I open all of my windows to get the smell out for real. I still arrived at work with cigar stink in my hair. Ugh. Not mad on my behalf yet? How about THIS: he totally threw the butt of the cigar into the residential road I followed him down. A cigar butt is like 4 times the size of a cigarette butt (not that THATS ok either,ugh).
SO fine, enough other stuff goes on during the day that helps me forget it. On my way home, I'm like "which of these cars has the smoker, WHICH one". Oh right in front of me, but this time a cigarette. And it wasn't a fine smoke, it was like she was huffing and puffing outside her window.
Tell me PLEASE. If you don't want YOUR car to smell like YOUR dirty smoke, why do you think its ok for MY environment and MY air to smell like it?
And I'm not happy about it.
This morning, all was well, running slightly early (one would say running early enough to post office it and allow father's day cards to arrive on time) until traffic on my little backroad slowed to a standstil. One would no longer say post office is ok get over the fact they might not arrive until Monday, and rather- its rush to get to work but maybe have a minute to spare to pick up a muffin type of morning.
As I'm stuck waiting at a traffic light for nearly half a mile, I realize that my car smells, like burning. Naturally I begin to worry thinking my car is about to implode and I start to stick my head out the window to "smell around". What, your parents never did that?
Anyway, I start looking at other cars, and houses to make sure the smell isn't coming from them also. Directly in front of me is an early 90's Oldsmobile.... and after staring intently, I see fine smoke leaving the driver's side window. It took me a little while to realize it was a cigar. For personal and totally sane reasons, I just hate that smell. Plus, I might be allergic to it. Of course I end up behind this guy for the next 4.5 miles, on backroads where the cigar smell leaving his car has no where to go but inside mine. He finally turns off the road and I open all of my windows to get the smell out for real. I still arrived at work with cigar stink in my hair. Ugh. Not mad on my behalf yet? How about THIS: he totally threw the butt of the cigar into the residential road I followed him down. A cigar butt is like 4 times the size of a cigarette butt (not that THATS ok either,ugh).
SO fine, enough other stuff goes on during the day that helps me forget it. On my way home, I'm like "which of these cars has the smoker, WHICH one". Oh right in front of me, but this time a cigarette. And it wasn't a fine smoke, it was like she was huffing and puffing outside her window.
Tell me PLEASE. If you don't want YOUR car to smell like YOUR dirty smoke, why do you think its ok for MY environment and MY air to smell like it?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Oh, hello there: No Sorries
I just realized its been nearly 2 full weeks since my last post. I also just realized that if I continue to "apologize"(and not really mean it of course) for not posting regularly, its going to get old. But really, if Vittoria is back and better than ever, I'm going to have to start to get religious about this. Although not really, but all of the sudden I felt very passionate about that.
Ok LOTS to say.
Here's what I've been up to... in case you care.
1. Zyrtec is GOOD. Worst allergy season ever, eh? I was the cheerleader at cheer camp in high school who was approached by the camp leaders to question me about doing drugs. I had barely had my growth spurt yet at about 5'2 and was still wearing Limited Too clothes. In HS, and they thought I was on drugs. Why? Oh, my eyes were bloodshot, swollen and I was pretty loopy. Right, we were also in the cornfields of Pennsylvania=hello allergens. I have been pretty shocked for about 2 months as to why I've only coughed once or twice, why I'm able to wear contacts and why I am not attached to a tissue box. Then my throat and ear tubes became "dysfunctional" (ask my dr. she used that exact term). Apparently THAT is how I'm affected by the worst allergy season ever. Lovely.
2. VITTORIA IS BACK. And I missed her. Oh, you missed her too? Well I'm one of her "real life friends(jealz?!)", so multiply your missage by a couple and thats me. Yay for seeing her in a week and a half though.
3. Jen Lancaster's 5th book came out. I finally started reading it this week. Start with "Bitter is the new black" and go from there. You can borrow mine. Everyone should be reading her work. I carried "My Fair Lazy" around the office one day and introduced 2 new people to the world that is Jennsylvania. Honestly? She uses "stabby" as a descriptive feeling. As in, "she's making me feel all stabby". Heart.
4. Was at that specialty-ish grocery store again. Picked up 2 crabs. THIS time (of course, because now I know) fish counter man says "would you like me to 'clean' them for you?"... (after the conversation I just had with bf about if he would do my dirty work again and he was a little bit psyched to do it). I ran and checked with him and he looked sad, so I asked fish counter man to leave them as is and I will take them home. We get home and...? crabs are dead. Legit. I actually called the store to make sure they were still safe to eat. I'm not one with food.
5. ITS FRESH FRUIT SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to, it better be soon, have a free weekend day to go strawberry picking. Its one of the only fruits that I love but have yet to pick my own. (of the varieties, that you know, you actually can at a pyo place)
6. Any good little Jews out there? I thought I was going crazy when, last summer, the Black Eyed Peas released "I Got A Feeling" (Is that its name?) and I kept hearing a Hebrew word in the background. NO, not "Mazel Tov", I'm no moron.. everyone with hearing capacity knows those words are in that song, thanks. I kept hearing "L'Chaim". If you don't, listen again. Its at the chorus part where they say a word loudly and then it sounds like a techno beat is echoing. They say "MAZEL TOV!" then, in a techno beat "L'Chaim". I only recently, (its been out how long?) actually Googled the lyrics, and I'm right. Thanks songwriters, you make me smile.
7. I came home from work the other day, sent bf a gchat message saying "are you coming home". 36 minutes later, the following comes through on gchat. Definitely "Shiz my boyfriend says" (courtesy of LiLu, yes I read your blog ;-) material. Totally reminds me of "monkey monkey underpants", which is still one of the greatest TV lines, to me at least).
6:20 PM BF: I'm walking
On the street
6:21 PM What are you doing
Are you even there
I'm thirsty
Dooooo doooo
6:22 PM Walking
6:23 PM I spy with my little eye...something blue
Walking
Ooo I smell grilling
I see the smoke now
6:24 PM I'm hungry
A dog!
Crossing the street
I like the shade
Lexus
6:25 PM I stepped in something sticky
The sun is bright
Shade
Bright
Shade
Bright
6:26 PM Shade
I don't appreciate the color of thay house
A dog!
6:27 PM What's the point of plastic swans
A dog!
6:28 PM Police car, act natural
Crossing the street
Crows are talking to each other
I have an itch
This grass is really a lovely green
6:29 PM They must use chemicals
An orange car. Hm.
6:30 PM Baby crying
I see the house
There's your car, so you are home just not listening to me
Stupid flower touched me
6:31 PM Are you going to open the door?
Knocking
Hi
8. If I posted more, these wouldn't be so long. I'll think about it.
Ok LOTS to say.
Here's what I've been up to... in case you care.
1. Zyrtec is GOOD. Worst allergy season ever, eh? I was the cheerleader at cheer camp in high school who was approached by the camp leaders to question me about doing drugs. I had barely had my growth spurt yet at about 5'2 and was still wearing Limited Too clothes. In HS, and they thought I was on drugs. Why? Oh, my eyes were bloodshot, swollen and I was pretty loopy. Right, we were also in the cornfields of Pennsylvania=hello allergens. I have been pretty shocked for about 2 months as to why I've only coughed once or twice, why I'm able to wear contacts and why I am not attached to a tissue box. Then my throat and ear tubes became "dysfunctional" (ask my dr. she used that exact term). Apparently THAT is how I'm affected by the worst allergy season ever. Lovely.
2. VITTORIA IS BACK. And I missed her. Oh, you missed her too? Well I'm one of her "real life friends(jealz?!)", so multiply your missage by a couple and thats me. Yay for seeing her in a week and a half though.
3. Jen Lancaster's 5th book came out. I finally started reading it this week. Start with "Bitter is the new black" and go from there. You can borrow mine. Everyone should be reading her work. I carried "My Fair Lazy" around the office one day and introduced 2 new people to the world that is Jennsylvania. Honestly? She uses "stabby" as a descriptive feeling. As in, "she's making me feel all stabby". Heart.
4. Was at that specialty-ish grocery store again. Picked up 2 crabs. THIS time (of course, because now I know) fish counter man says "would you like me to 'clean' them for you?"... (after the conversation I just had with bf about if he would do my dirty work again and he was a little bit psyched to do it). I ran and checked with him and he looked sad, so I asked fish counter man to leave them as is and I will take them home. We get home and...? crabs are dead. Legit. I actually called the store to make sure they were still safe to eat. I'm not one with food.
5. ITS FRESH FRUIT SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to, it better be soon, have a free weekend day to go strawberry picking. Its one of the only fruits that I love but have yet to pick my own. (of the varieties, that you know, you actually can at a pyo place)
6. Any good little Jews out there? I thought I was going crazy when, last summer, the Black Eyed Peas released "I Got A Feeling" (Is that its name?) and I kept hearing a Hebrew word in the background. NO, not "Mazel Tov", I'm no moron.. everyone with hearing capacity knows those words are in that song, thanks. I kept hearing "L'Chaim". If you don't, listen again. Its at the chorus part where they say a word loudly and then it sounds like a techno beat is echoing. They say "MAZEL TOV!" then, in a techno beat "L'Chaim". I only recently, (its been out how long?) actually Googled the lyrics, and I'm right. Thanks songwriters, you make me smile.
7. I came home from work the other day, sent bf a gchat message saying "are you coming home". 36 minutes later, the following comes through on gchat. Definitely "Shiz my boyfriend says" (courtesy of LiLu, yes I read your blog ;-) material. Totally reminds me of "monkey monkey underpants", which is still one of the greatest TV lines, to me at least).
6:20 PM BF: I'm walking
On the street
6:21 PM What are you doing
Are you even there
I'm thirsty
Dooooo doooo
6:22 PM Walking
6:23 PM I spy with my little eye...something blue
Walking
Ooo I smell grilling
I see the smoke now
6:24 PM I'm hungry
A dog!
Crossing the street
I like the shade
Lexus
6:25 PM I stepped in something sticky
The sun is bright
Shade
Bright
Shade
Bright
6:26 PM Shade
I don't appreciate the color of thay house
A dog!
6:27 PM What's the point of plastic swans
A dog!
6:28 PM Police car, act natural
Crossing the street
Crows are talking to each other
I have an itch
This grass is really a lovely green
6:29 PM They must use chemicals
An orange car. Hm.
6:30 PM Baby crying
I see the house
There's your car, so you are home just not listening to me
Stupid flower touched me
6:31 PM Are you going to open the door?
Knocking
Hi
8. If I posted more, these wouldn't be so long. I'll think about it.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Johnny 5 is ALIVE!
Remember the papaya incident? Cutting open fruit has nothing on last night. not. one. thing.
Last summer, at Whole Foods, I bought, successfully made, and enjoyed soft shell crab for the first time. I later ordered it at a restaurant and enjoyed it. In the winter, I found a pack of frozen soft shell crab at H-Mart. All wonderful, although of course the frozen variety left something to be desired.
Yesterday I remembered that a local grocery store (think something between the big box stores of food and Whole Foods/Trader Joes. Its not exactly a specialty store, but they seem to have harder-to-find items) had soft shell crab in their weekly flyer. I stopped by after work, bought two and put them in the fridge before my gym class. I asked the seafood counter guy if they were pre-cleaned, he said no, flipped one over and showed me where needed to be cleaned before eating.
After the gym, I was psyched to go home and cook them. Every single time I've bought soft shell crab in the past, they were wrapped individually in a little bit of plastic (this means they are pre-cleaned). I got the pan all ready, opened the package from the store with the crab, got the scissors all ready and said "ok lets do this". I flip the crab over like seafood man told me to do and attempted to cut the "apron". The crab then FLIPPED OUT. This thing was ALIVE. I now had two LIVE crab in my kitchen. WTF?
Boyfriend had a dinner meeting out (and doesn't even really like soft shell crab). I decided that it was going on 3 hours since he was there, it was time for him to come home and save my dinner, otherwise we had 2 new pets. I called, explained the immediate situation and he laughed, saying he's on his way.
He went through nearly the same motions I did with the crab before saying "are you sure these are supposed to be alive? I don't know how to make this safe to eat". Fearing no dinner and actually having to figure out what to do with 2 live crabs, I googled this "How to clean soft shell crabs". Thank you to the writer of that blog for the reassurance that live is good. Thank you to boyfriend for actually being able to make them not alive.
I write this the following morning following the soft shell crab debacle. They were DELICIOUS, I survived, and am sure I will be spending the extra dollar per crab at another store to know they are "pre-cleaned".
Last summer, at Whole Foods, I bought, successfully made, and enjoyed soft shell crab for the first time. I later ordered it at a restaurant and enjoyed it. In the winter, I found a pack of frozen soft shell crab at H-Mart. All wonderful, although of course the frozen variety left something to be desired.
Yesterday I remembered that a local grocery store (think something between the big box stores of food and Whole Foods/Trader Joes. Its not exactly a specialty store, but they seem to have harder-to-find items) had soft shell crab in their weekly flyer. I stopped by after work, bought two and put them in the fridge before my gym class. I asked the seafood counter guy if they were pre-cleaned, he said no, flipped one over and showed me where needed to be cleaned before eating.
After the gym, I was psyched to go home and cook them. Every single time I've bought soft shell crab in the past, they were wrapped individually in a little bit of plastic (this means they are pre-cleaned). I got the pan all ready, opened the package from the store with the crab, got the scissors all ready and said "ok lets do this". I flip the crab over like seafood man told me to do and attempted to cut the "apron". The crab then FLIPPED OUT. This thing was ALIVE. I now had two LIVE crab in my kitchen. WTF?
Boyfriend had a dinner meeting out (and doesn't even really like soft shell crab). I decided that it was going on 3 hours since he was there, it was time for him to come home and save my dinner, otherwise we had 2 new pets. I called, explained the immediate situation and he laughed, saying he's on his way.
He went through nearly the same motions I did with the crab before saying "are you sure these are supposed to be alive? I don't know how to make this safe to eat". Fearing no dinner and actually having to figure out what to do with 2 live crabs, I googled this "How to clean soft shell crabs". Thank you to the writer of that blog for the reassurance that live is good. Thank you to boyfriend for actually being able to make them not alive.
I write this the following morning following the soft shell crab debacle. They were DELICIOUS, I survived, and am sure I will be spending the extra dollar per crab at another store to know they are "pre-cleaned".
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