Make him pay for it all...

"While he was scheming
(running through a red light)
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
(Hyundai, and honking)
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
(woahh, red means STOP)
So I found another way to make him pay for it all"
(totes narked him out)

My rush-hour traffic patterns have gotten significantly worse since Labor Day hit and everyone is not only back to work, but there are a ton of school buses out there now.  (sidenote: why do parents walk their kids ONTO the bus and chat with the driver, then stand there waving until the bus driver closes the door in their face?!)

I've figured out a few additional backroads to beat the backed up red lights.  On Friday, I used this method and ended up at an intersection I pass through everyday.. but because of my trickiness, I was in a position to go straight through the light rather than turning right onto it as I have done so many times before.

Let me paint a picture for you.

Or describe it, you paint it if you want.

From above...Four-way intersection.  Four traffic lights (12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00).  On one corner(lets call this 1:00), there is a Dunkin Donuts with only 4 parking spots (aka backup). On another corner(4:00), a shopping plaza that doesn't open until later(aka empty). On the third corner (7:30), there is a gas station with convenience mart.  The last corner (10:30) has a no-name gas station with a full-mechanic's bay (always busy).

The road that I NEED to end up on runs through 12:00 and 6:00.  Usually, I am coming from the road on 3:00.  My trick brings me around and I end up at 6:00 to go straight through toward 12:00. (3:00 really does back up nearly a mile).

Being at 6, there are some making lefts and others going straight. Those at 9 tend to only go left or straight also. I was the first car in line to go straight through 6, waiting for my green. 

Once it turned green, the schoolbus coming from 9 that was stuck at the yellow in the middle of the intersection went.  The guy to my left at 6 began his left turn into 9 when the schoolbus waiting at 9(totally was behind the "stop here at red" line), WENT.  Like really just drove into the intersection, slowed a bit and made a left turn.

I have never heard SO much honking at that hour coming from ...OTHER... people's cars.

The bus was full.  VERY full.  Of elementary school sized kids.  I repeated the bus number and license plate in my head all of the way to work. 

Bypassing real work to be done, I googled the street name the bus turned on to (because I had followed him a block and knew it), found the elementary school it was going to.. and CALLED IT.

"Hi, can you please give me the name and possibly phone number of the bus company your school uses?"

"It is [xyz] and their number is [555-8888]."

"Thanks! I'm about to call them and let them know that I saw a bus full of your students run a red light. Should I also report that to you?"

"[deeping surprised sigh ever] HUH AH, no just hang up and call them right now please, make sure to give the bus number"

Done.  BITCHES.

This irked me all day.  And still is now.  Its one thing to mess around when it can only possibly effect you (not that its ok, of course).. but small children!? 

You are very welcome, unnamed small town in MA.

In my studio...

Did you watch "America's Got Talent" last night? I hadn't really followed this show until a few weeks ago when a flamboyant clown was on my tv. Then things got interesting.

1. Fighting Gravity got robbed. Come to Boston, I'll buy tickets to see you.

2. I am kind of glad that Jackie Evancho didn't place first. Of course, I know she is absolutely incredible, but she's also 10. She started to sing at 7, according to Wikipedia and really, if she won? What would she do next?! I can't help but compare her to Charlotte Church. Super fame to Where Are They Now? by 19. Sad... but still awesome- she's TEN, came in second and already has a TON of gigs lined up for the next year. When watching the show last night I said "What would she do with a show in Vegas?" I was met with the response "go to school", which weirdly enough, was all I could think of too. Lucky for her, this college essay will absolutely help her dazzle and jump off the page (bonus points, where's this from? thanks Vitt ;-)

UP UP IN MY STUDIO.

Going against the wishes of every member of my immediate family, I tend not to watch shows that involve voting people off each week. Instead, I fill my world with "better" television, ie- House (FOUR DAYS AND COUNTING!!) and Royal Pains(watch reruns until January, its good for you), mixed in with a wonderful weekly dose of American Pickers, Pawn Stars (Mon, History) LA Ink (Wed, TLC), Teen Mom(Tues, MTV), Little People/Big World and Little Couple (Mon and tbd, TLC)and too many Duggars(Tues, TLC). Longest sentence...ever.

The Gosselins broke my heart, so I'm not as religious about their show anymore, and if The Locator was on a channel in my cable package, I'd be there with popcorn. I have also been told that the television in my living room is allergic to Secret Life of the American Teenager, so I just read the recaps online.

And today, the best day ever... there is speculation of a movie being developed as a followup to the best show ever. LOVE it.  GILMORE GIRLS!!!

UP UP IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO.

I'm so glad that AGT decided to bring back and make most of the show about contestants who weren't. And I'm so glad that Nick Cannon introduced Spongetta to the judges by saying they got it wrong.

REMIX.

I'LL BE IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO, UP UP IN MY STUDIO.

Youtube it, and prepare not to hear anything else in your head for days. STUDIO STUDIO.

AH MOTHERLAND!

As I slammed my fists into the steering wheel this morning, bit whatever part of nail grew overnight and started to yell at those who don't use blinkers, I could only help but laugh.

This weekend we had friends visiting from The District. One of them, as we drove around Boston doing slightly touristy things, expressed how calm I was driving and how at that point she'd be yelling. ME? CALM? WHEN DRIVING?! Woah. Like really, woah. I had never been described that way, but ohh I reveled in it.

I learned how to drive in NJ, from a couple of New Yorkers. I drove many days to high school with a sheet of ice on the windshield, head sticking out of the window, smashing into whatever rogue plastic trash cans made their way into the middle of the little suburban road I drove for 3 miles... Because I didn't have the patience (or time, lets face it) for my car to defrost. I've also bottomed out more times I can count AND destroyed the horn on my first car.

Did you know that you can do that? Moreso, did you know that the horn mechanism is really just a one-inch long piece of metal surrounded by thick polymer, surrounded by metal, and then more thick polymer, encased in the steering wheel compartment? I snapped mine in half.

I. Am. Amazing.

Don't worry, I'm sure she changed her mind about my driving when, as we drove to the airport and got stuck in traffic in the tunnel, I clammed up and kept asking if they see the light on the other end. WHAT. Ever since the Big Dig catastrophe, traffic in tunnels is a huge fear.

PS- today my McDonald's man nearly tripped his manager as he ran to get the iced tea cup as I walked in.

Double Double Toil and TROUBLE

Great movie, no? 

I don't open Facebook at work for fun... per SE. I really, legit, only check it on my gym days to see if the schedule has changed or if my sessions are cancelled.  Over the summer, this information was posted solely on facebook and after showing up to an empty gym twice, I realized I should be in the know.

Anyway... once I'm in, I scroll through the news feed and such- but never for more than 3 minutes.. and NEVER when there is work on my desk to be done. (unless its 4 minutes before I'm leaving for the day and I really need to find out the gym schedule).

It had been about a week since I checked this at work because the schedule was verbally told and I figured, hey, if it changed.. I'd just go out for ice cream instead.. no worries.  But Monday, it was very quiet in the office.  A couple of people were in meetings and I was getting dangerously close to running out of stuff to do.  So I decided to see if I was still on schedule to have fun at the gym that evening.

I open the web browser, type in Facebook's address, hit enter... and BOOM!  Fire alarm.  My finger was seriously still fully pressed down on the enter key when this fire alarm went blasting. 

"Stay calm, this company is way too big to have a Facebook alarm set up all of the sudden. Stay calm" said my head.  While trying to figure out how fired I was, my hands quickly closed all signs of the Internet, deleted the cookies, and locked the computer. 

As some people decided it was time to evacuate the building, the computer brought the lock screen up with screensaver on and the fire alarm stopped.

It took me a few hours to decide that I was not the cause of the alarm.  And a few more to stop shaking.