The Bathroom Smells Like Mint!

What does your bathroom smell like? Hopefully something artificial. And nice. Seriously.  For the past few days, every time I walk into the bathroom, I smile and smell the refreshing mint that spreads from the shower. 

Basically, its freezing here.  I'm not joking, if any of you out there actually read this and are outside of New England.... it was "50" (but also dark and raining) on Sunday... that was a freak accident.  It hasn't been above 32 degrees in over a week except for that.  And rumor has it, we are expecting a nor'easter this weekend. Awesome.

What this really means to me is my skin is so itchy from the dry changing temperatures.  What is ALSO means is that the hair salon I go to comes out with PAUL MITCHELL TEA TREE GIFT SETS!!!  YES!

For less than the price of ONE tea tree shampoo bottle, I bought shampoo, conditioner and bar soap! 

If you are not aware, tea tree is supposed to help invigorate your skin and hair, with some sort of magical healing properties.  As long as the shower is steaming hot, and the tea tree is minty and refreshing, it feels like you just left a eucalyptus steam room. Anddddddd.... its wonderful.  Its a great cold winter feeling b/c the tea tree makes your scalp tingle which leaves it uber refreshed.

I washed my hair twice the day I bought my first bottle of the year.

Anyway, if you're considering it.... I only recommend the tea tree special.  Its all personal preference, but I hated the lavender and the lemon sage was slightly icky.

SO while I am blocked in my house from the many many feet of snow we're expecting this winter, starving because its inevitable we'll forget to go grocery shopping, knowing the probability Comcast will break and we won't have cable.... I'll turn my minty smelling bathroom into a spa.  And it will be awesome.

Oh... you already have a favorite shampoo/conditioner and you don't care for my recommendation?  No problem.

How about this one?  A Burt's Bees Holiday Grab Bag!  I already bought mine, and it arrived and it was the most fun thing.  Its already awesome to get mail... but a surprise grab bag!?  How fun! When the package arrived, I pulled out the mesh bag and just kept pulling out items.  I received a full size toothpaste (yessssss!), full sized shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, some other stuff I can't remember, 2 bars of different soap, lip gloss and so much more!  Sigh, so amazing. :-)

If not seasonal products/food (we'll miss you DD pumpkin donuts, until we meet again next year), how are you preparing for the holidays?

If you have the December issue of InStyle, flip to page 412.  Bottom left.  THAT is how I plan to prepare for the holidays.  Without the mag?  Its a picture of mini white twinkle lights wrapped around fireplace logs set in the fireplace.... seems to light up the whole fireplace and is so not nearly as much a fire hazard as actually lighting the wood.  I promise to post the "after" pics.... once I, you know, buy the twinkle lights.  Its going to happen within the next 3 days.  Vacuuming out the unused fireplace, with 2 lamps aiming directly into the deep dark crevice was a huge success- not one bug came flying out all mean and hungry like. Win!

Stay tuned!

Overheard in my life... Taken out of context edition

• "Do you not know that I'm Asian?!" "well, did they say anything yesterday?"
• "Do you think the macaroni is really hollow?" "SOMEONE GIVE ME A BABY"
• "Best Urination Station in the Nation" "The Big Pee at the Big E"
• "Alright ladies, we've got a full house here, and all we need is a flush.... oh you got that poker joke, huh?"
• "Sit back and relax, just don't be in such a rush that you forget to flush"
• "Lo is not the right answer! Cain means Lo!"
• "This is maybe my favorite conversation we've had in 2010 DUH"

Make him pay for it all...

"While he was scheming
(running through a red light)
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
(Hyundai, and honking)
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
(woahh, red means STOP)
So I found another way to make him pay for it all"
(totes narked him out)

My rush-hour traffic patterns have gotten significantly worse since Labor Day hit and everyone is not only back to work, but there are a ton of school buses out there now.  (sidenote: why do parents walk their kids ONTO the bus and chat with the driver, then stand there waving until the bus driver closes the door in their face?!)

I've figured out a few additional backroads to beat the backed up red lights.  On Friday, I used this method and ended up at an intersection I pass through everyday.. but because of my trickiness, I was in a position to go straight through the light rather than turning right onto it as I have done so many times before.

Let me paint a picture for you.

Or describe it, you paint it if you want.

From above...Four-way intersection.  Four traffic lights (12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00).  On one corner(lets call this 1:00), there is a Dunkin Donuts with only 4 parking spots (aka backup). On another corner(4:00), a shopping plaza that doesn't open until later(aka empty). On the third corner (7:30), there is a gas station with convenience mart.  The last corner (10:30) has a no-name gas station with a full-mechanic's bay (always busy).

The road that I NEED to end up on runs through 12:00 and 6:00.  Usually, I am coming from the road on 3:00.  My trick brings me around and I end up at 6:00 to go straight through toward 12:00. (3:00 really does back up nearly a mile).

Being at 6, there are some making lefts and others going straight. Those at 9 tend to only go left or straight also. I was the first car in line to go straight through 6, waiting for my green. 

Once it turned green, the schoolbus coming from 9 that was stuck at the yellow in the middle of the intersection went.  The guy to my left at 6 began his left turn into 9 when the schoolbus waiting at 9(totally was behind the "stop here at red" line), WENT.  Like really just drove into the intersection, slowed a bit and made a left turn.

I have never heard SO much honking at that hour coming from ...OTHER... people's cars.

The bus was full.  VERY full.  Of elementary school sized kids.  I repeated the bus number and license plate in my head all of the way to work. 

Bypassing real work to be done, I googled the street name the bus turned on to (because I had followed him a block and knew it), found the elementary school it was going to.. and CALLED IT.

"Hi, can you please give me the name and possibly phone number of the bus company your school uses?"

"It is [xyz] and their number is [555-8888]."

"Thanks! I'm about to call them and let them know that I saw a bus full of your students run a red light. Should I also report that to you?"

"[deeping surprised sigh ever] HUH AH, no just hang up and call them right now please, make sure to give the bus number"

Done.  BITCHES.

This irked me all day.  And still is now.  Its one thing to mess around when it can only possibly effect you (not that its ok, of course).. but small children!? 

You are very welcome, unnamed small town in MA.

AH MOTHERLAND!

As I slammed my fists into the steering wheel this morning, bit whatever part of nail grew overnight and started to yell at those who don't use blinkers, I could only help but laugh.

This weekend we had friends visiting from The District. One of them, as we drove around Boston doing slightly touristy things, expressed how calm I was driving and how at that point she'd be yelling. ME? CALM? WHEN DRIVING?! Woah. Like really, woah. I had never been described that way, but ohh I reveled in it.

I learned how to drive in NJ, from a couple of New Yorkers. I drove many days to high school with a sheet of ice on the windshield, head sticking out of the window, smashing into whatever rogue plastic trash cans made their way into the middle of the little suburban road I drove for 3 miles... Because I didn't have the patience (or time, lets face it) for my car to defrost. I've also bottomed out more times I can count AND destroyed the horn on my first car.

Did you know that you can do that? Moreso, did you know that the horn mechanism is really just a one-inch long piece of metal surrounded by thick polymer, surrounded by metal, and then more thick polymer, encased in the steering wheel compartment? I snapped mine in half.

I. Am. Amazing.

Don't worry, I'm sure she changed her mind about my driving when, as we drove to the airport and got stuck in traffic in the tunnel, I clammed up and kept asking if they see the light on the other end. WHAT. Ever since the Big Dig catastrophe, traffic in tunnels is a huge fear.

PS- today my McDonald's man nearly tripped his manager as he ran to get the iced tea cup as I walked in.

Hello Seattle...

Last week(ish), bf attended a convention in DC... and I followed him around.  I have been wanting to visit DC for a looooooooong time.  Where have I wanted to visit even more? Seattle, the place I should have/almost went to graduate school but instead landed in a Commonwealth for too long.  OH, lucky me.. this same set of meetings "we" attended, is in Seattle next year.

Hello Seattle!

(the style reminds me a lot of "Boston" by Augustana... what is this genre that I seem to love?)

So, "vacation" last week in DC was superb.  I was given time to experience a city that I fully imagined myself living in since middle school, and a chance to become disenchanted by said city due to its public transportation system.

I do strongly recommend, when visiting a new city, do a little bit of research beforehand and pretend you live there by visiting local, non-touristy places.  I found an amazing little vegan bakery, that happened to be right across the street from a mall which had a Best Buy, Staples and TARGET. What do we call this little mecca?  Oh, the place I would live. Its called Columbia Heights.  Not much of a traveler, I was proud of myself for thinking of doing this.

I tried to take advantage of the free-time I had when not visiting family and friends or participating in convention events. What I learned from the experience? 

-There are probably not pandas at the National Zoo. No one I know has seen them.
-DC weather changes faster than New England's.  (I had to buy an umbrella at the zoo. I was there 10 minutes and it was sunny when I arrived. I left soaking wet.)
-Sticky Fingers is a great bakery.
-DC is in major need of a Wagamama.
-The red line is my NEMESIS.
-Vittoria should move closer to me, wherever it is I end up living.
-People are really friendly... unless you are asking them for help (re: directions, metro machines, etc)
-The Metro really needs to be fixed.  Metro cards can be DEactivated if placed too close to a cellphone?! (I arrived back in MA with FOUR metro cards in my wallet, because they were all broken.)
-There is way too much to do and see in 5 days.
-There are wayyyy too many people in one area.
-Stand to the right, people WILL yell if you stand to the left. (this does not work in MA, unfortunately)
-The escalator at Woodley Park/Adams Morgan is the longest everrrrrrrr.
-Jefferson is cool, but he's really far away.
-Jazz in the garden?! Why does every city not have this magical place?!
-The rumors are true... humidity really is oppressive.
-Orange slices in water makes water taste yummy.
-Underground malls that connect buildings are awesome (oh hello Crystal City).
-Maryland and Virginia are not as close as they look on a map.
-Georgetown looks like a nice place to visit, but it isn't convenient to....anything.
-The Hope Diamond is so much smaller than I imagined.
-Capitol City Brewery gives soft pretzels instead of a bread basket.  Why doesn't every restaurant?
-The FLOOR of the House of Reps is a cool place to be. Yes, I said floor.

And I'm back, and ready to roll.

I will talk to myself through you, don't worry

I have taken to calling Facebook the greatest, most amazing, waste of time ever created.... whenever it is brought up, and especially to those who do not partake. Yeah, apparently people like that exist.

Ever notice that people have conversations through comments on status updates?

Have YOU ever?  With someone else?  With yourself/

Oh, having a conversation with yourself through someone else's status update is hilarious, magical and absolutely noteworthy.  It also allows middle sister to facebook chat with you in uppercase (with a million exclamation points) that because she had also commented on that same status message, her blackberry was beeping every time I left a post.  Naturally, it made me leave more. Why ask for it?  I don't have a blackberry, I'm not sure what BBM stands for, and I am devastatingly disconnected from the world whenver not in front of a computer.... I WILL shove my disconnect in your face, should you entice me.

Smallest sister's status message was:  What do you mean the first half of Breaking Dawn won't be out till November 2011.. thats simply not acceptable.

Middle sister: likes this..

Middle sister's friend: wtf?

Middle sister: Yes cuz since they split it in 2 they had to renegotiate all the contracts cuz they were only for 4 movies and had to change it to 5

Smallest sister: lame.

Me: i'm tired.

Me: VOTE ORANGE

Me:. helllloooooooooooo. I need to clean my house so friends can come over and we can eat lobster. that we cooked ourselves. after racing them against each other. b/c thats what people where I "live" do. wooo.

Me:. ps- small sister. do you NOT have a job? how are you on facebook mid day.

Smallest sister: im at work but don't have much to do..

Smallest sister: better question is don't you have a job?..

Me: I DO! and apparently it was go home 4 hours early day! Middle sister, beep!(is that the sound a bb makes?)

And this is what said lobsters looked like.  Once they were cooked, I was too busy getting messy to take most pictures, but they were red and delicious as most lobsters are.

This was the only boy lobster... and he was feisty, and the biggest too. Kept trying to jump off the counter we had him on... he just wanted to win the race against the big red banded one in the front of the picture above.

Off-Color Thoughts: What went through my mind in the past 24 hours.

-Walking out of Target, there was that amazing snake of red carts that the little cart retriever makes. We exited, red cart snake on the left, my car on other side of cart snake:
"I feel like the oil".  (prompt funny looks from others here. When it was explained, and understood by others- "oh thats um... topical"). At least I think I'm funny. Does no one else read the news?

-"I cannot wait to go home and wash my hands, every single person in this building has dirty dirty hands. Its so gross". Co-worker looks at me funny and then realizes what I'm saying. Boil Water Order is set for most of the region I live in, including where I work. Soap and Water is turned off, giant santizing tubs in their place(in the restrooms). Gross.

-On wearing a Holter monitor (I'm fine, really, just let me believe it, you should too): "I feel like I'm wearing a bomb". Without skipping a beat, my aunt replies "Just don't go anywhere near Times Square".

.... Too soon?

Dino vs. Moose: I "didn't" see both!

As suggested in my very first post, former potential titles will be explained sometime... here goes.

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I um, "live" in New England.  One day (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will happily part ways.. but for now I'm here.  A myth that I have heard is that moose live in New England! Not near me of course, I live near people, not forest, and not near Canada... but once in a while moose somehow manage to find their way toward civilization.  This article (even though this town is not closeby) made me soooo jealous.  But at least this time there were pictures! 

A few months ago there was a moose spotted IN MY TOWN!  Because only the town paper reported on it, I found out of its existence about 4 days after the last sighting (and there were NO pictures, LIES).  But I hope you don't think for one second that I was thinking rationally when I spent the next 3 nights driving around in dark parking lots in every area it was spotted... with my headlights turned off. I heard a rumor that moose like dark.

The lastest spotting reminded me of when I saw a dinosaur in New York, and I wanted to tell you alllll about it.

I'm from a little town in New Jersey, where deer roam free and I have a rational fear of them. Rational, as in 2 months after I got my license AND car, a deer ran into my front left fender. I know what you're thinking.. but I couldn't have hit it, it would have been head on, no? The stupid thing ran into the car, left fur, then ran off into the woods. Since then they've been taunting me by hanging out on my parent's front lawn nearly every time I visit. It doesn't help that my parents are quite the gardners and attract the stupid beasts with pretty tulips.  Sensitive subject, trust me, I'm right. Leave it at that.

So last fall I was making one of my many trips to NJ by car, which means once Connecticut finally ends, I manage my way through NY and into the Garden State.  For some reason this past fall produced very humid nights.  I happened to leave much later than planned on this trip (closer to 8pm than the 5pm I expected), which isn't a big deal.. it just means that I leave in the dark and try not to fall asleep behind the wheel.  I know my rest stops by heart and don't worry too much about driving to NJ in the dark.

As I exited Connecticut, I continued until I reached the exit for I-684 (NY speak for the very bare version of a highway that will take you through Westchester County).  I was only about two miles in when I realized that there just weren't that many cars on the road.  In either direction.  No big deal... not to worry that I had a lot to drink and that the only rest stop on this highway is the subject of many a nightmare.. nope no worries.  Another few miles down I realized that I couldn't see that far ahead and slowed to about 45... then 35... and when I realized I was the only car on the highway and going 20 mph, I knew there was a problem.  The sudden dense fog had set in all around my car and my headlights were illuminating about half a foot in front of my hood.  Did I mention 684 is a plateau? Yep, learned that after the fact.

At least 15 minutes had gone by and I don't even think I drove a mile... ONCE a truck passed, so I zipped behind it as if the theory about driving behind a truck in hurricane rain would work in thick fog.  The truck left me hanging by myself 40 seconds later.  Then the fog lightened up, I drove as fast as possible hoping to make up some time and get as far away from that road as possible, when 3 miles later it got thick again.  I slowed down, turned off the radio and hoped for the best as I drove.  Not even a few minutes later I noticed a shadow up ahead.  (I was hoping it wasn't a disabled truck in the middle of the highway because surely I would have no reaction time.)  Since I was driving 6 miles an hour, this shadow appeared in verrrrrrry slow motion.  Only problem? It was getting larger.  MUCH larger.  Honestly? At first I thought MOOOOSE and reached into my purse for my camera without taking my eye off the road.  But the shadow became much larger than any moose I had ever imagined.  What is bigger than a moose? Giraffe? I couldn't figure out in my head how far away the Bronx Zoo was or why the radio hadn't mentioned an escaped giraffe.  Then it hit me.  DINOSAUR.  Not just any dinosaur.  This was a big honkin' brontosaurus hanging out on NY I-684.  OMGGGGGG.  I slowed down, imagining what the bottom of a brontosaurus foot looks like when I get toward the middle of the shadow, then under it.... and ..... its.... an overpass. (damn fog).

A couple hours later, its almost 3AM, I finally get to my house and there are TWO deer on the front lawn.