I am sometimes, admittedly, naive. I get it. This seems to happen more so in social circles than in a business setting. For some reason, I was born with a pretty logical brain and can pick up things in business settings very quickly, along with being able to read people, etc. Socially? Well, it took me a few seconds to realize the joke the car salesguy said about living in tight quarters when we gave a po box as an address. But I try, and sometimes it works.
A few weeks ago at my current place of employment, I discovered that the 'grill-master' makes amazing grilled cheese sandwiches. I ask for mine with lettuce and tomato.
Recently, I've read TWO articles in the "love letters" section of the Boston Globe that referred to hanky panky as "grilled cheese".
I'm sorry.. WHAT!?
In what Julia Roberts movie did she ever say she was going to have grilled cheese that night. NONE. And in "The Devil Wears Prada"? They ACTUALLY eat grilled cheese. Has this term always been around and used in that light? Do people just know this stuff once they reach a certain age? Did I miss the memo? (No seriously, did I? Let me know.)
Yesterday I felt a little dirty ordering my lunch. So today I will be going outside the building to find nourishment.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Overheard In My Life: Asian Edition
1. A Chinese woman (with a thick accent) that I met while at city hall was about 5 weeks away from retiring after working there for almost 25 years. A coworker asked if her husband would also be retiring and what they would do: "No, he needs work. He will not retire. His money is MY money, and my money is MY money".
2. When trying to decide on an Asian restaurant for dinner with my Korean friend:
Friend: "Have you been to [this place]? It's authentic and it's cheap too! Like each entree is generally under $10. It's so authentic that most are cash only, I think, ha!"
me: "I'm pretty sure by 'authentic' not taking credit cards, you mean 'tax evaders'"
Friend: "Yes, tax evaders. Sounds pretty authentically Asian to me."
2. When trying to decide on an Asian restaurant for dinner with my Korean friend:
Friend: "Have you been to [this place]? It's authentic and it's cheap too! Like each entree is generally under $10. It's so authentic that most are cash only, I think, ha!"
me: "I'm pretty sure by 'authentic' not taking credit cards, you mean 'tax evaders'"
Friend: "Yes, tax evaders. Sounds pretty authentically Asian to me."
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Ish My Grandparents Say: Take 1
1. After discussing, on the phone, the recent possible car purchase being made in my household with my grandfather, my grandmother comes home and says "Who's getting a car?". Without saying hello and only half sure of who is on the phone:
"Yes I do!"
me: "NO, you don't! What would you do with it, you don't even drive the Impala that you have, grandpa does!"
"Sooo whhaaaat, I want a yellow convertible"
2. Grandpa (right after the ridiculous snow storms that hit NY this winter): "We went out for a little bit today, but the ice is still too bad to really go anywhere that we would want to go"
Grandma: "I'm a HOSTAGE!"
3. Grandma: "How's your job search going?"
me: "Eh, its going... its tough to find a job that will let me do arts and crafts all day while also being able to use my brain"
Grandma: "You should be a teacher, you'd be great at that"
me: "Oh, add to my list of job requirements- must not have to deal with kids"
Grandma: "I hate kids too! But grandpa and I would love great grandchildren, just remember that"
"I want a yellow convertible!"
me: "No, you don't""Yes I do!"
me: "NO, you don't! What would you do with it, you don't even drive the Impala that you have, grandpa does!"
"Sooo whhaaaat, I want a yellow convertible"
2. Grandpa (right after the ridiculous snow storms that hit NY this winter): "We went out for a little bit today, but the ice is still too bad to really go anywhere that we would want to go"
Grandma: "I'm a HOSTAGE!"
3. Grandma: "How's your job search going?"
me: "Eh, its going... its tough to find a job that will let me do arts and crafts all day while also being able to use my brain"
Grandma: "You should be a teacher, you'd be great at that"
me: "Oh, add to my list of job requirements- must not have to deal with kids"
Grandma: "I hate kids too! But grandpa and I would love great grandchildren, just remember that"
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Dino vs. Moose: I "didn't" see both!
As suggested in my very first post, former potential titles will be explained sometime... here goes.
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I um, "live" in New England. One day (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will happily part ways.. but for now I'm here. A myth that I have heard is that moose live in New England! Not near me of course, I live near people, not forest, and not near Canada... but once in a while moose somehow manage to find their way toward civilization. This article (even though this town is not closeby) made me soooo jealous. But at least this time there were pictures!
A few months ago there was a moose spotted IN MY TOWN! Because only the town paper reported on it, I found out of its existence about 4 days after the last sighting (and there were NO pictures, LIES). But I hope you don't think for one second that I was thinking rationally when I spent the next 3 nights driving around in dark parking lots in every area it was spotted... with my headlights turned off. I heard a rumor that moose like dark.
The lastest spotting reminded me of when I saw a dinosaur in New York, and I wanted to tell you alllll about it.
I'm from a little town in New Jersey, where deer roam free and I have a rational fear of them. Rational, as in 2 months after I got my license AND car, a deer ran into my front left fender. I know what you're thinking.. but I couldn't have hit it, it would have been head on, no? The stupid thing ran into the car, left fur, then ran off into the woods. Since then they've been taunting me by hanging out on my parent's front lawn nearly every time I visit. It doesn't help that my parents are quite the gardners and attract the stupid beasts with pretty tulips. Sensitive subject, trust me, I'm right. Leave it at that.
So last fall I was making one of my many trips to NJ by car, which means once Connecticut finally ends, I manage my way through NY and into the Garden State. For some reason this past fall produced very humid nights. I happened to leave much later than planned on this trip (closer to 8pm than the 5pm I expected), which isn't a big deal.. it just means that I leave in the dark and try not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I know my rest stops by heart and don't worry too much about driving to NJ in the dark.
As I exited Connecticut, I continued until I reached the exit for I-684 (NY speak for the very bare version of a highway that will take you through Westchester County). I was only about two miles in when I realized that there just weren't that many cars on the road. In either direction. No big deal... not to worry that I had a lot to drink and that the only rest stop on this highway is the subject of many a nightmare.. nope no worries. Another few miles down I realized that I couldn't see that far ahead and slowed to about 45... then 35... and when I realized I was the only car on the highway and going 20 mph, I knew there was a problem. The sudden dense fog had set in all around my car and my headlights were illuminating about half a foot in front of my hood. Did I mention 684 is a plateau? Yep, learned that after the fact.
At least 15 minutes had gone by and I don't even think I drove a mile... ONCE a truck passed, so I zipped behind it as if the theory about driving behind a truck in hurricane rain would work in thick fog. The truck left me hanging by myself 40 seconds later. Then the fog lightened up, I drove as fast as possible hoping to make up some time and get as far away from that road as possible, when 3 miles later it got thick again. I slowed down, turned off the radio and hoped for the best as I drove. Not even a few minutes later I noticed a shadow up ahead. (I was hoping it wasn't a disabled truck in the middle of the highway because surely I would have no reaction time.) Since I was driving 6 miles an hour, this shadow appeared in verrrrrrry slow motion. Only problem? It was getting larger. MUCH larger. Honestly? At first I thought MOOOOSE and reached into my purse for my camera without taking my eye off the road. But the shadow became much larger than any moose I had ever imagined. What is bigger than a moose? Giraffe? I couldn't figure out in my head how far away the Bronx Zoo was or why the radio hadn't mentioned an escaped giraffe. Then it hit me. DINOSAUR. Not just any dinosaur. This was a big honkin' brontosaurus hanging out on NY I-684. OMGGGGGG. I slowed down, imagining what the bottom of a brontosaurus foot looks like when I get toward the middle of the shadow, then under it.... and ..... its.... an overpass. (damn fog).
A couple hours later, its almost 3AM, I finally get to my house and there are TWO deer on the front lawn.
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I um, "live" in New England. One day (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will happily part ways.. but for now I'm here. A myth that I have heard is that moose live in New England! Not near me of course, I live near people, not forest, and not near Canada... but once in a while moose somehow manage to find their way toward civilization. This article (even though this town is not closeby) made me soooo jealous. But at least this time there were pictures!
A few months ago there was a moose spotted IN MY TOWN! Because only the town paper reported on it, I found out of its existence about 4 days after the last sighting (and there were NO pictures, LIES). But I hope you don't think for one second that I was thinking rationally when I spent the next 3 nights driving around in dark parking lots in every area it was spotted... with my headlights turned off. I heard a rumor that moose like dark.
The lastest spotting reminded me of when I saw a dinosaur in New York, and I wanted to tell you alllll about it.
I'm from a little town in New Jersey, where deer roam free and I have a rational fear of them. Rational, as in 2 months after I got my license AND car, a deer ran into my front left fender. I know what you're thinking.. but I couldn't have hit it, it would have been head on, no? The stupid thing ran into the car, left fur, then ran off into the woods. Since then they've been taunting me by hanging out on my parent's front lawn nearly every time I visit. It doesn't help that my parents are quite the gardners and attract the stupid beasts with pretty tulips. Sensitive subject, trust me, I'm right. Leave it at that.
So last fall I was making one of my many trips to NJ by car, which means once Connecticut finally ends, I manage my way through NY and into the Garden State. For some reason this past fall produced very humid nights. I happened to leave much later than planned on this trip (closer to 8pm than the 5pm I expected), which isn't a big deal.. it just means that I leave in the dark and try not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I know my rest stops by heart and don't worry too much about driving to NJ in the dark.
As I exited Connecticut, I continued until I reached the exit for I-684 (NY speak for the very bare version of a highway that will take you through Westchester County). I was only about two miles in when I realized that there just weren't that many cars on the road. In either direction. No big deal... not to worry that I had a lot to drink and that the only rest stop on this highway is the subject of many a nightmare.. nope no worries. Another few miles down I realized that I couldn't see that far ahead and slowed to about 45... then 35... and when I realized I was the only car on the highway and going 20 mph, I knew there was a problem. The sudden dense fog had set in all around my car and my headlights were illuminating about half a foot in front of my hood. Did I mention 684 is a plateau? Yep, learned that after the fact.
At least 15 minutes had gone by and I don't even think I drove a mile... ONCE a truck passed, so I zipped behind it as if the theory about driving behind a truck in hurricane rain would work in thick fog. The truck left me hanging by myself 40 seconds later. Then the fog lightened up, I drove as fast as possible hoping to make up some time and get as far away from that road as possible, when 3 miles later it got thick again. I slowed down, turned off the radio and hoped for the best as I drove. Not even a few minutes later I noticed a shadow up ahead. (I was hoping it wasn't a disabled truck in the middle of the highway because surely I would have no reaction time.) Since I was driving 6 miles an hour, this shadow appeared in verrrrrrry slow motion. Only problem? It was getting larger. MUCH larger. Honestly? At first I thought MOOOOSE and reached into my purse for my camera without taking my eye off the road. But the shadow became much larger than any moose I had ever imagined. What is bigger than a moose? Giraffe? I couldn't figure out in my head how far away the Bronx Zoo was or why the radio hadn't mentioned an escaped giraffe. Then it hit me. DINOSAUR. Not just any dinosaur. This was a big honkin' brontosaurus hanging out on NY I-684. OMGGGGGG. I slowed down, imagining what the bottom of a brontosaurus foot looks like when I get toward the middle of the shadow, then under it.... and ..... its.... an overpass. (damn fog).
A couple hours later, its almost 3AM, I finally get to my house and there are TWO deer on the front lawn.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
"How do you like 'dem apples!" Or: Questions Of The Day
1. Why do people swerve left to go right, and vice versa? Followup- why do some people find it necessary to come to a complete stop before turning right?
2. When I clicked on CNN.com this morning and saw this "latest news" headline, "Remains of 2 people found in trash bags", why did I automatically assume it happened in NJ? Followup- How was I even right?
3. Is MSG in everything that is of an Asian food variety? Followup- What makes me crave CPK's miso salad ALL the time?
4. Why is Jen Lancaster's "My Fair Lazy" not coming out until May? Followup- Who else should I be reading? (I seem to like memoir genre)
5. Is it going to get cold again before summer? Followup- Please say no.
6. Why do our palates change as we get older? Followup- Anyone else think banana peppers makes their veggie sandwich taste like vomit?
7. Who else misses their "old life"? Followup- Why aren't YOU cheering for UConn?
8. Is no one else concerned that there seems to be a major earthquake reported every 4-6 days for the last 1.5 months? Followup- Isn't it amazing that mining is still such a large industry, and that there is still no real way to prevent such accidents that happened yesterday?
9. If someone asks how you are, and without complaining about one thing you update them on how you're doing- why do they feel compelled to offer advice? Followup- Why can't it ever be good, relevant advice?
10. Do you know the muffin man? Followup- I "researched" Passover and decided it is only 7 days this year. Take that boils!
2. When I clicked on CNN.com this morning and saw this "latest news" headline, "Remains of 2 people found in trash bags", why did I automatically assume it happened in NJ? Followup- How was I even right?
3. Is MSG in everything that is of an Asian food variety? Followup- What makes me crave CPK's miso salad ALL the time?
4. Why is Jen Lancaster's "My Fair Lazy" not coming out until May? Followup- Who else should I be reading? (I seem to like memoir genre)
5. Is it going to get cold again before summer? Followup- Please say no.
6. Why do our palates change as we get older? Followup- Anyone else think banana peppers makes their veggie sandwich taste like vomit?
7. Who else misses their "old life"? Followup- Why aren't YOU cheering for UConn?
8. Is no one else concerned that there seems to be a major earthquake reported every 4-6 days for the last 1.5 months? Followup- Isn't it amazing that mining is still such a large industry, and that there is still no real way to prevent such accidents that happened yesterday?
9. If someone asks how you are, and without complaining about one thing you update them on how you're doing- why do they feel compelled to offer advice? Followup- Why can't it ever be good, relevant advice?
10. Do you know the muffin man? Followup- I "researched" Passover and decided it is only 7 days this year. Take that boils!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Vroom Vroom!
I was ALL set to decide that Fridays would be my rant day and I would go off about how its NOT ok to run red lights... because apparently thats "normal" on the roads in 2010. But then I came home from work, starving from lack of carbs, to THIS (read below) and it was all ok. After my snack, of course.
Preface: Bf's considering buying a new car. Like tomorrow. The 0% Toyota financing ends "soon". (He knows of this blog but not that I was writing down everything he said and not chatting with Vittoria, so I might have to find my own dinner tonight).
Bf is rather levelheaded, but when I came home to him "looking at cars online", I couldn't help myself from laughing.
6:03:25: He's on BMW's website... building one from scratch
"There is a button here I can press and they will make this right now for me!"
me- "Um well not right now"
"I wonder if I have to mail my car back to them for a trade-in"
me- "HA, its not like they are going to MAIL you the BMW."
"Do they ship to PO Boxes?"
6:14:20: "you know, Porsches really aren't that expensive"
6:14:36: At this point I realize he's comparing it to a Dodge Viper. I compare it to a Nissan and then Hyundai.
6:15:43: "I could totally afford a Lotus"
And then I realize this is too ridiculous and start writing it down, missing these 4 minutes.
6:19:23: "vrrooom"
6:19:25: "vroom"
6:19:28: "where's there a Lotus dealer"
6:19:33: "we should totally test drive one"
6:19:40: "there's one in (town 15 minuets away)!!!!"
6:19:52: "f-in A, this one's cheaper than the BMW, I should really get it!"
6:20:34: "whaaaaaaat it only has a 4 cylinder? what the hell would I get this car for?"
6:21:23: "0 to 100 in 10 seconds"
6:21:35: me- "its a good thing we live no where near where you're allowed to drive 100mph"
6:23:01: "ah they are a racecar, thats why"
6:23:05: "I want to buy a racecar!"
6:24:03: "what OTHER cars can I get"
6:24:14: me- "Nissan, Honda, Subaru"
6:24:20: he nods head no in sadness
6:27:29: he begins to look over some Ford websites....
6:27:31: "mustang!!!"
6:27:34: "mustang salaaaaaad"
That was a great way to begin a weekend of lovely weather, that the east coast totally deserves!
Preface: Bf's considering buying a new car. Like tomorrow. The 0% Toyota financing ends "soon". (He knows of this blog but not that I was writing down everything he said and not chatting with Vittoria, so I might have to find my own dinner tonight).
Bf is rather levelheaded, but when I came home to him "looking at cars online", I couldn't help myself from laughing.
6:03:25: He's on BMW's website... building one from scratch
"There is a button here I can press and they will make this right now for me!"
me- "Um well not right now"
"I wonder if I have to mail my car back to them for a trade-in"
me- "HA, its not like they are going to MAIL you the BMW."
"Do they ship to PO Boxes?"
6:14:20: "you know, Porsches really aren't that expensive"
6:14:36: At this point I realize he's comparing it to a Dodge Viper. I compare it to a Nissan and then Hyundai.
6:15:43: "I could totally afford a Lotus"
And then I realize this is too ridiculous and start writing it down, missing these 4 minutes.
6:19:23: "vrrooom"
6:19:25: "vroom"
6:19:28: "where's there a Lotus dealer"
6:19:33: "we should totally test drive one"
6:19:40: "there's one in (town 15 minuets away)!!!!"
6:19:52: "f-in A, this one's cheaper than the BMW, I should really get it!"
6:20:34: "whaaaaaaat it only has a 4 cylinder? what the hell would I get this car for?"
6:21:23: "0 to 100 in 10 seconds"
6:21:35: me- "its a good thing we live no where near where you're allowed to drive 100mph"
6:23:01: "ah they are a racecar, thats why"
6:23:05: "I want to buy a racecar!"
6:24:03: "what OTHER cars can I get"
6:24:14: me- "Nissan, Honda, Subaru"
6:24:20: he nods head no in sadness
6:27:29: he begins to look over some Ford websites....
6:27:31: "mustang!!!"
6:27:34: "mustang salaaaaaad"
That was a great way to begin a weekend of lovely weather, that the east coast totally deserves!
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