Let's... TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, please.

So you get to work, the party, your friend/family's house, the conference, school, anywhere where there are people you haven't seen in days, weeks, months years.  You say "hi", try to make small talk, be polite, wish you were home sleeping, stick around and hope there's food.  People love to talk about themselves, so you divert the conversation back to them as much as possible while casually making eye contact with each and every exit, still waiting for the food, and hoping its good.

Eventually you have no choice, you need to start participating in the conversation or the people around you will think there is something wrong with your state of mind (especially not good in work situations where looking around, down, away and walking backwards out of cubicles only works so many times).

The question "so what's new with you" comes up a few times, you casually say one or a variety of "nothing", "same old", describe something great you recently purchased, a new food you tried, how little sleep you got during the last busy week/weekend.  Diverting the conversation again, you find out the new food they tried, the new purchase they made, the indecisiveness going into another purchase, that their cat got out, and future vacation plans.

It comes back again, in hushed tones.  This time much more targeted, unfair, sure to hit you where it hurts topics you have no interest in discussing again because its all that goes through your head outside of that conversation.  Depending on your specific life situation at the time, the first question out of the ballpark is along the lines of "did you buy the ring yet?", "when is he going to propose?", "how's the baby doing?(followed by unwarranted advice)", "still no bf/gf, eh?", "how's the house hunting, its a buyer's market you know", "hear from any schools yet?", "did the lawyer ever call you back?", "how did the weigh in go?", "what happened with that insurance situation?", "HOW IS YOUR JOB SEARCH GOING?". 

Bringing it back to the start, did they not ask "What's new?".  Every waking moment is spent with thoughts running through your head of how to solve the dilemma at hand, how would an answer to any of those questions not be considered "new" and discussed earlier.  If you are going through any sort of similar situation that is considered life changing by any stretch of the word and you have no interest in discussing it with those of whom only have only briefly heard that something is up, I speak for you.  LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, please!

disclaimer: close friends and family with sincere interest, you talk to them about it frequently, they know your real situation and how you are handling it, are exempt.

Overheard in my life... Taken out of context edition

• "Do you not know that I'm Asian?!" "well, did they say anything yesterday?"
• "Do you think the macaroni is really hollow?" "SOMEONE GIVE ME A BABY"
• "Best Urination Station in the Nation" "The Big Pee at the Big E"
• "Alright ladies, we've got a full house here, and all we need is a flush.... oh you got that poker joke, huh?"
• "Sit back and relax, just don't be in such a rush that you forget to flush"
• "Lo is not the right answer! Cain means Lo!"
• "This is maybe my favorite conversation we've had in 2010 DUH"

The Television Graveyard

Brief hiatus. I'm lame. Hello again.


"Lone Star" was "HUGE" for "My Generation". Too bad none of it lasted.

I have a real heartache for television shows that are cancelled before they had time to mature. This might be because I know someone who is now unemployed due to one such cancellation, or because I was drawn into CW's "Runaway" a few years ago and have no idea what happened to that family after the first 4 episodes. I don't know why but I really do just feel bad.

These particular three cancellations actually do hit a personal note though because before each one aired, I formed an opinion- which I don't normally do about new shows.

Example: "Hellcats"? I should be all over that, but I don't even know when it airs.. and truthfully- I care more about when Maci on "Teen Mom" got all of her tattoos than watching two Disney channel princesses cheer to the death. Apparently its awesome and a guilty pleasure that I would/should really love. I prefer to watch Lauren Graham on "Parenthood" as I pretend she is still,

and forever,

Lorelai.

When I first started to see ads for "Lone Star" I just thought of it as another Fox show to air after "House"- which means I would inadvertently end up watching part of one episode at some point in the time in the season. This struck another chord close to home when friends traveling JetBlue told us that they were able to watch the pilot before it aired... WEEKS before. Hello hype! I was surprised to hear it lasted even two episodes.

"Huge", I just didn't care about at all... and I think that was only because it conflicted with my regularly scheduled TLC offerings of the evening. I do remember making a point though to remember that I didn't care and not to watch an episode in the chance I might actually like it.

"My Generation", I was legit so psyched about. All summer I kept saying "I'm going to watch that!" after a teaser aired. A week before it was set to premiere, I did my loyal research on its website to learn more about the background, etc. I have absolutely no idea why I thought an ABC show like this would be REAL... but being the show's exact target aged audience, I was devastated to learn it was scripted...overly so and full of real actors. I chose not to watch it when I found that out. When a friend posted on fb asking everyone to watch it to save her job- I tuned in. For 6 minutes. Sorry, ABC, but you did this one some justice. And so very sorry, friend.

I just read an article about the 10th anniversary of Gilmore Girls airing. What if they cancelled it due to poor ratings? Apparently the first few episodes WERE met with poor ratings! Trust me, I'm not saying any of these shows are of Gilmore caliber, but I do feel for them.

What are YOU watching this season that is new? Anything? I'm not. I'm sticking with my "same olds" from last season and they take up enough of my time.

I used to be much more "in the know".... but my $10 Entertainment Weekly subscription ran out.

Make him pay for it all...

"While he was scheming
(running through a red light)
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
(Hyundai, and honking)
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
(woahh, red means STOP)
So I found another way to make him pay for it all"
(totes narked him out)

My rush-hour traffic patterns have gotten significantly worse since Labor Day hit and everyone is not only back to work, but there are a ton of school buses out there now.  (sidenote: why do parents walk their kids ONTO the bus and chat with the driver, then stand there waving until the bus driver closes the door in their face?!)

I've figured out a few additional backroads to beat the backed up red lights.  On Friday, I used this method and ended up at an intersection I pass through everyday.. but because of my trickiness, I was in a position to go straight through the light rather than turning right onto it as I have done so many times before.

Let me paint a picture for you.

Or describe it, you paint it if you want.

From above...Four-way intersection.  Four traffic lights (12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00).  On one corner(lets call this 1:00), there is a Dunkin Donuts with only 4 parking spots (aka backup). On another corner(4:00), a shopping plaza that doesn't open until later(aka empty). On the third corner (7:30), there is a gas station with convenience mart.  The last corner (10:30) has a no-name gas station with a full-mechanic's bay (always busy).

The road that I NEED to end up on runs through 12:00 and 6:00.  Usually, I am coming from the road on 3:00.  My trick brings me around and I end up at 6:00 to go straight through toward 12:00. (3:00 really does back up nearly a mile).

Being at 6, there are some making lefts and others going straight. Those at 9 tend to only go left or straight also. I was the first car in line to go straight through 6, waiting for my green. 

Once it turned green, the schoolbus coming from 9 that was stuck at the yellow in the middle of the intersection went.  The guy to my left at 6 began his left turn into 9 when the schoolbus waiting at 9(totally was behind the "stop here at red" line), WENT.  Like really just drove into the intersection, slowed a bit and made a left turn.

I have never heard SO much honking at that hour coming from ...OTHER... people's cars.

The bus was full.  VERY full.  Of elementary school sized kids.  I repeated the bus number and license plate in my head all of the way to work. 

Bypassing real work to be done, I googled the street name the bus turned on to (because I had followed him a block and knew it), found the elementary school it was going to.. and CALLED IT.

"Hi, can you please give me the name and possibly phone number of the bus company your school uses?"

"It is [xyz] and their number is [555-8888]."

"Thanks! I'm about to call them and let them know that I saw a bus full of your students run a red light. Should I also report that to you?"

"[deeping surprised sigh ever] HUH AH, no just hang up and call them right now please, make sure to give the bus number"

Done.  BITCHES.

This irked me all day.  And still is now.  Its one thing to mess around when it can only possibly effect you (not that its ok, of course).. but small children!? 

You are very welcome, unnamed small town in MA.

In my studio...

Did you watch "America's Got Talent" last night? I hadn't really followed this show until a few weeks ago when a flamboyant clown was on my tv. Then things got interesting.

1. Fighting Gravity got robbed. Come to Boston, I'll buy tickets to see you.

2. I am kind of glad that Jackie Evancho didn't place first. Of course, I know she is absolutely incredible, but she's also 10. She started to sing at 7, according to Wikipedia and really, if she won? What would she do next?! I can't help but compare her to Charlotte Church. Super fame to Where Are They Now? by 19. Sad... but still awesome- she's TEN, came in second and already has a TON of gigs lined up for the next year. When watching the show last night I said "What would she do with a show in Vegas?" I was met with the response "go to school", which weirdly enough, was all I could think of too. Lucky for her, this college essay will absolutely help her dazzle and jump off the page (bonus points, where's this from? thanks Vitt ;-)

UP UP IN MY STUDIO.

Going against the wishes of every member of my immediate family, I tend not to watch shows that involve voting people off each week. Instead, I fill my world with "better" television, ie- House (FOUR DAYS AND COUNTING!!) and Royal Pains(watch reruns until January, its good for you), mixed in with a wonderful weekly dose of American Pickers, Pawn Stars (Mon, History) LA Ink (Wed, TLC), Teen Mom(Tues, MTV), Little People/Big World and Little Couple (Mon and tbd, TLC)and too many Duggars(Tues, TLC). Longest sentence...ever.

The Gosselins broke my heart, so I'm not as religious about their show anymore, and if The Locator was on a channel in my cable package, I'd be there with popcorn. I have also been told that the television in my living room is allergic to Secret Life of the American Teenager, so I just read the recaps online.

And today, the best day ever... there is speculation of a movie being developed as a followup to the best show ever. LOVE it.  GILMORE GIRLS!!!

UP UP IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO.

I'm so glad that AGT decided to bring back and make most of the show about contestants who weren't. And I'm so glad that Nick Cannon introduced Spongetta to the judges by saying they got it wrong.

REMIX.

I'LL BE IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO, UP UP IN MY STUDIO.

Youtube it, and prepare not to hear anything else in your head for days. STUDIO STUDIO.

AH MOTHERLAND!

As I slammed my fists into the steering wheel this morning, bit whatever part of nail grew overnight and started to yell at those who don't use blinkers, I could only help but laugh.

This weekend we had friends visiting from The District. One of them, as we drove around Boston doing slightly touristy things, expressed how calm I was driving and how at that point she'd be yelling. ME? CALM? WHEN DRIVING?! Woah. Like really, woah. I had never been described that way, but ohh I reveled in it.

I learned how to drive in NJ, from a couple of New Yorkers. I drove many days to high school with a sheet of ice on the windshield, head sticking out of the window, smashing into whatever rogue plastic trash cans made their way into the middle of the little suburban road I drove for 3 miles... Because I didn't have the patience (or time, lets face it) for my car to defrost. I've also bottomed out more times I can count AND destroyed the horn on my first car.

Did you know that you can do that? Moreso, did you know that the horn mechanism is really just a one-inch long piece of metal surrounded by thick polymer, surrounded by metal, and then more thick polymer, encased in the steering wheel compartment? I snapped mine in half.

I. Am. Amazing.

Don't worry, I'm sure she changed her mind about my driving when, as we drove to the airport and got stuck in traffic in the tunnel, I clammed up and kept asking if they see the light on the other end. WHAT. Ever since the Big Dig catastrophe, traffic in tunnels is a huge fear.

PS- today my McDonald's man nearly tripped his manager as he ran to get the iced tea cup as I walked in.

Double Double Toil and TROUBLE

Great movie, no? 

I don't open Facebook at work for fun... per SE. I really, legit, only check it on my gym days to see if the schedule has changed or if my sessions are cancelled.  Over the summer, this information was posted solely on facebook and after showing up to an empty gym twice, I realized I should be in the know.

Anyway... once I'm in, I scroll through the news feed and such- but never for more than 3 minutes.. and NEVER when there is work on my desk to be done. (unless its 4 minutes before I'm leaving for the day and I really need to find out the gym schedule).

It had been about a week since I checked this at work because the schedule was verbally told and I figured, hey, if it changed.. I'd just go out for ice cream instead.. no worries.  But Monday, it was very quiet in the office.  A couple of people were in meetings and I was getting dangerously close to running out of stuff to do.  So I decided to see if I was still on schedule to have fun at the gym that evening.

I open the web browser, type in Facebook's address, hit enter... and BOOM!  Fire alarm.  My finger was seriously still fully pressed down on the enter key when this fire alarm went blasting. 

"Stay calm, this company is way too big to have a Facebook alarm set up all of the sudden. Stay calm" said my head.  While trying to figure out how fired I was, my hands quickly closed all signs of the Internet, deleted the cookies, and locked the computer. 

As some people decided it was time to evacuate the building, the computer brought the lock screen up with screensaver on and the fire alarm stopped.

It took me a few hours to decide that I was not the cause of the alarm.  And a few more to stop shaking.

Despicable You, Predictable Me?

There are two types of people in this world... those who want to be known... and those who don't.  I am quickly realizing that I am very content being part of the latter.

I do not like my picture taken, although I think this is because I was born with a sincere lack of photogenic..ity?  I do not like to take credit, but dole it out constantly.  And I do not like being a "regular".

Now, what you are about to hear might cause you some real pain.  Then, you might defriend me on every social network I have an account on.  Then, you might tell stories about me one day to your grandkids "once... I knew someone who was just so gross".

I am a regular.  Officially.  At.... McDonald's.  UGH. I know.  I am grossed out by it completely, and any lecture you feel like giving me, I already have heard... from myself.  Each time I drive into the parking lot.

Look, its been an extremely hot past few weeks here in the Northeast territory of the USA.  And they say you should always stay hydrated.  And half sweet/half unsweet iced teas are really good.

Don't get me wrong.  Iced tea, half sweet/half unsweet, is ALL that I get at McDonald's.  A few weeks ago, I thought I'd try to eat something... It not only tasted vile, but my stomach let me know it was pissed throughout the work day.

When the temperatures really started to soar and stay in the 85-90 degree area, I began to leave a few extra minutes in the morning and run into the McDonald's that is very much on my way to work.  I probably stopped in 3 times in the first week.  I continued this, and the days when a full family of kids would be in front of me taking their time, I would eye the cashier to hurry it up. (For real? In ANY place that has a menu up, and you are waiting in line... how can you get to the register and say "oh umm, oh, sorry" and not have decided?!)

About a week after the second family of stupid that made me 3 minutes late to work, the cashier began to "know me".... for the next time I went in, I walked up to the register to hear "sweet tea, right? Lemon?".  NO, definitely no lemon, thank you.  I was asked if I wanted lemon the following 4 times, without first ordering the iced tea. (its a DIY MickeyD's.. they don't know my half/half order... I don't...think..)

Then. One time last week?  I walked in, and there was a man placing his breakfast order.  As I approached behind him, as the only other person in line, I hear "sweet tea".. and see a cup held out in the air.  The man ordering looked horrified... probably because 1. I didn't order and 2. He was STILL ordering.  Yes, the cashier took my "order" and payment in the middle of someone else's.  Hello extra 2 minutes.

Today?  The "regular" cashier was kneeling down refilling the cups.  I walked over to the cashier manning the register and said "Hi sw" when I was cut off by the other cashier holding out a cup saying "sweet tea. 1.07, ring it up. I know her already, haha, I know what she orders".

AHHH.

Yes, I feel bad about myself.

I know, there are a ton of people who LOVE this stuff.  But it totally creeps me out.

And one day, I feel like I should order something else... just to keep him on his toes.  A small smoothie (no yogurt of course, bish please), perhaps? 

Argh to the Highest Power

Today (and most days), I don't like...

People who...
-Lie about stupid insignificant things in their past that can easily be proven otherwise by say, a high school yearbook.
-Turn their back on where they're from because its "cool" (I'm all for turning your back on people, not b/c its "cool").
-Will fight 'til the death, against a subject matter expert, even though they are wrong.
-Make things up and treat it as fact, mainly for attention.
-Talk to other adults as if they are children.
-Don't take hints (and not in the coy way, legit hints, like "get out of my face" type hints)
-Specifically pay no attention to their ability to recycle.
-Offer unsolicited advice.
-Demand attention in every situation, (ie- always reverting a conversation back to them, when not relevant); are too self-important.

Mornings that...
-Begin with the computer taking 7 minutes to start, asking you to reset your password and then locking you out. (for an hour).
-Are on Mondays.
-May or may not be the first day back at local schools, causing more traffic (when do I start leaving the extra 15 mins?)
-Are just too hot.

Days which...
-Are too busy to feel like you've actually accomplished anything.
-You feel too lazy to think about accomplishing anything.
-You pre-plan your meals, only to be unsatisfied by the choices... and still hungry.
-I have to clean the house.


Today (and most days), I do like....

People who...
-Give it to you straight (of the friend variety, work confrontations need not be included)(hi Vittoria)
-Put trust in other's abilities to do a good job
-Remind me that others are the same type of friend that I would like to say I am.
-Are inspirational everyday people (hi VJB)
-Make me laugh just by living their life and writing it down (hi Jen Lancaster)

Mornings that...
-Nah, can't think of anything.

Days which...
-I go to PIYO!
-5pm comes fast.
-Offer good, classy, quality television entertainment (HA, please, I watch TLC... on repeat).
-I don't have to clean the house.

Overheard In My Life: Super Random Edition

 Why no picture of the collar?NUH UH

"Ever since you did my oil change, my daughter got pregnant"

"Shaw's for produce? No wonder you ended up with a Granny Smith!"

"This jacket says [EM] on the tag" "Yes, because its mine! Not yours." "UH!"

"All I know is, he stinks on ice!"

"I feel like Donny Osmond, or a magician or something, and you're my assistant.... and thats why we're dressed the same"

 I want one..awww

Hello Seattle...

Last week(ish), bf attended a convention in DC... and I followed him around.  I have been wanting to visit DC for a looooooooong time.  Where have I wanted to visit even more? Seattle, the place I should have/almost went to graduate school but instead landed in a Commonwealth for too long.  OH, lucky me.. this same set of meetings "we" attended, is in Seattle next year.

Hello Seattle!

(the style reminds me a lot of "Boston" by Augustana... what is this genre that I seem to love?)

So, "vacation" last week in DC was superb.  I was given time to experience a city that I fully imagined myself living in since middle school, and a chance to become disenchanted by said city due to its public transportation system.

I do strongly recommend, when visiting a new city, do a little bit of research beforehand and pretend you live there by visiting local, non-touristy places.  I found an amazing little vegan bakery, that happened to be right across the street from a mall which had a Best Buy, Staples and TARGET. What do we call this little mecca?  Oh, the place I would live. Its called Columbia Heights.  Not much of a traveler, I was proud of myself for thinking of doing this.

I tried to take advantage of the free-time I had when not visiting family and friends or participating in convention events. What I learned from the experience? 

-There are probably not pandas at the National Zoo. No one I know has seen them.
-DC weather changes faster than New England's.  (I had to buy an umbrella at the zoo. I was there 10 minutes and it was sunny when I arrived. I left soaking wet.)
-Sticky Fingers is a great bakery.
-DC is in major need of a Wagamama.
-The red line is my NEMESIS.
-Vittoria should move closer to me, wherever it is I end up living.
-People are really friendly... unless you are asking them for help (re: directions, metro machines, etc)
-The Metro really needs to be fixed.  Metro cards can be DEactivated if placed too close to a cellphone?! (I arrived back in MA with FOUR metro cards in my wallet, because they were all broken.)
-There is way too much to do and see in 5 days.
-There are wayyyy too many people in one area.
-Stand to the right, people WILL yell if you stand to the left. (this does not work in MA, unfortunately)
-The escalator at Woodley Park/Adams Morgan is the longest everrrrrrrr.
-Jefferson is cool, but he's really far away.
-Jazz in the garden?! Why does every city not have this magical place?!
-The rumors are true... humidity really is oppressive.
-Orange slices in water makes water taste yummy.
-Underground malls that connect buildings are awesome (oh hello Crystal City).
-Maryland and Virginia are not as close as they look on a map.
-Georgetown looks like a nice place to visit, but it isn't convenient to....anything.
-The Hope Diamond is so much smaller than I imagined.
-Capitol City Brewery gives soft pretzels instead of a bread basket.  Why doesn't every restaurant?
-The FLOOR of the House of Reps is a cool place to be. Yes, I said floor.

And I'm back, and ready to roll.

Winter might be a cold one

I was away, out of town, gone, not here, out of STATE(oh so finally) for a short amount of time, and apparently that means I totally forget to write things down to blog.  Woops.  Anyway, details/loves&hates of my trip to come soon...

...but for now. I am in my living room, basement door open with lights on. Kinda sorta, halfway expecting/waiting for an explosion. 

Since college, my blankets have been taken to the dry cleaners.  YES, this costs a damn near fortune... especially if you have a larger than twin size bed, which I do.

I am trying to get to the bottom of a newfound allergic reaction to no one knows what... so I am washing... EVERYTHING.  Including my larger than life blanket.  In the washing machine.  In the TOP LOADING washing machine.  In my basement.   And its taking foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  It is finally on the rinse cycle.  When it gets to spin, I will wait impatiently by its side to somehow manage to get a sopping wet blanket that is super heavy dry out of the smaler than its size machine.

I wouldn't be so jumpy if boyfriend wasn't playing one of those shooty bloody, gives me a headache and makes me disoriented blowup computer games.... it makes it sound like the house is exploding every 8 seconds.  (I've gone to check on the washing machine 4 times.. )

Hopefully I'll post again tomorrow.... should the house be in tact.... and should I not be shopping for a new blanket (although it IS tax free weekend!)

The Kids Are.... just ok.

A few weeks ago, a friend and I went to a free screening of the film "The Kids are All Right".  It was a spectacularly well-made film, with of course an amazing cast.

I think the message was relevant, the story line fascinating and the on-screen chemistry really fun.  I want to preface this by saying I really DO think that I liked this movie.

I found out about this screening, gchatted with a friend to ask her interest and rsvp'd for 2.  I really had no information on the film other than it was free and happening on an evening where I did not have anything else going on.  I got to the theatre and saw the movie poster.  Um, Annette Bening and Julianne Moore? I immediately loved the film.  Apparently, being female the fact that Mark Ruffalo also starred should have been the reason for the love, nah.. he's good- but I prefer him in "Just Like Heaven" :-)

A little backstory.  I had a small part in the creation of the film, "The Women", which is where I was first introduced to one Annette Bening (literally and figuratively).  I had heard of her, but really had never seen her on screen.  She was absolutely amazing on set, just as a person and as an actor- very kind and gracious (at least from my perspective) and treated everyone on set (including the 3 year old girls) as adults and well, people (which is sometimes rare).  The next time "The American President" was on television, I made sure to watch. 

So, "The Kids Are All Right" had my full attention, I was laughing, I was sad, I was interested.  The came the butt, and yes I mean that with two t's (oh pun).  Like I said, I had no information on this film... not even that it was rated R.  With the information given, I really figured it would be a PG-13 sort of night.  I would have loooooooooved a warning.  Cursing is not a matter to me, but nakedness on the big screen? I just need to mentally prepare.  The first sex scene I got over.. but then there was another, followed by like 3 more involving Julianne Moore.  I got over that and tried to move on in the film.  Then came a scene with Annette rubbing Julianne's foot (oh first name basis? we're on it). It was a pleasant scene with tons of character building.  Then came Julianne's nipple.  It just seemed unneccessary, and over the top for the nakedness aspect.  Would the scene have been any less important if she had remained fully underwater? No. Hhmph.

I want to say that I liked, even loved this movie, as so many others have but I'm still getting over it.  I have, nonetheless, recommended it to friends and family (with the warning I would require).  Go see the movie while its in theatres, support independent films, try eating local, and do your research before walking into a 'sold-out' cinema.

Life's Little Lessons

1.  No matter how nice you are, or how you and your family have been through a lot lately, I WILL judge you if you sneeze into your hand and I see it.  I will judge you more and be convinced you've made me sick if you sneeze into your hand, immediately pick up paper and hand it to me.  Sneezing into your hand is only acceptable if you immediately wash your hands (with soap!) after... otherwise, follow nursing rules- sneeze into your elbow!

2. Speaking of washing your hands... if you don't wash your hands after using the restroom, and I catch you, I will think you are gross.  I probably won't let that feeling go either.  Same goes for people who fake wash.  Oh, what? Yes, I see/hear you, you "this sink is automatic so I will just wave my hand near the sensor, let people hear the water, and then run out of the room" or you "I'll just rinse a finger quickly under water and people will think I washed".  Whats so hard about washing your hands?

3. My next residence will be chosen based on the following requirements: kitchen counter space and lighting, carpet and central air.  I am so sick of being hot.  Bring on fall!

4.  I have zero interest in unsolicited life advice, especially that in which I am called an idiot. THREE times.

5.  I should write posts as I think of them and then just schedule when they post.  That would make sense, and provide more for your reading pleasure.

6.  I am finally beginning to read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" on a recommendation from a genius friend. Sustainability is amazing.

Brown Thumb Strikes Again

RIP crazy orchid.

Thursday- I realized it was about that time to water it again.

Friday- watered it and noticed some flowers were wilting.  "Finally" was my only reaction since this plant seemed indestructable.  Then I noticed a leave was sort of bloated, which is the only word I can think of to describe it.  I watered it.

Saturday- all but one flower fell off, plant has gone to the bad place.

Since I never disposed of the corn plant, one can only wonder that with the orchid out of the picture, if it will grow, bloom, and eat us.

Yikes...

I will talk to myself through you, don't worry

I have taken to calling Facebook the greatest, most amazing, waste of time ever created.... whenever it is brought up, and especially to those who do not partake. Yeah, apparently people like that exist.

Ever notice that people have conversations through comments on status updates?

Have YOU ever?  With someone else?  With yourself/

Oh, having a conversation with yourself through someone else's status update is hilarious, magical and absolutely noteworthy.  It also allows middle sister to facebook chat with you in uppercase (with a million exclamation points) that because she had also commented on that same status message, her blackberry was beeping every time I left a post.  Naturally, it made me leave more. Why ask for it?  I don't have a blackberry, I'm not sure what BBM stands for, and I am devastatingly disconnected from the world whenver not in front of a computer.... I WILL shove my disconnect in your face, should you entice me.

Smallest sister's status message was:  What do you mean the first half of Breaking Dawn won't be out till November 2011.. thats simply not acceptable.

Middle sister: likes this..

Middle sister's friend: wtf?

Middle sister: Yes cuz since they split it in 2 they had to renegotiate all the contracts cuz they were only for 4 movies and had to change it to 5

Smallest sister: lame.

Me: i'm tired.

Me: VOTE ORANGE

Me:. helllloooooooooooo. I need to clean my house so friends can come over and we can eat lobster. that we cooked ourselves. after racing them against each other. b/c thats what people where I "live" do. wooo.

Me:. ps- small sister. do you NOT have a job? how are you on facebook mid day.

Smallest sister: im at work but don't have much to do..

Smallest sister: better question is don't you have a job?..

Me: I DO! and apparently it was go home 4 hours early day! Middle sister, beep!(is that the sound a bb makes?)

And this is what said lobsters looked like.  Once they were cooked, I was too busy getting messy to take most pictures, but they were red and delicious as most lobsters are.

This was the only boy lobster... and he was feisty, and the biggest too. Kept trying to jump off the counter we had him on... he just wanted to win the race against the big red banded one in the front of the picture above.

Hungry Hungry Hippos!

What did I do last weekend?  Well... here goes... complemented with pictures:

Friday:  Work. Home. Sweat in the 100 degree house for 2 hours. Decide to pack. Leave House.  Make it to the mall just before closing (addendum: left house LATE), to pick up dress on hold.

Arrive in NYC at 1AM. Celebrate with cousins for 1 hour, head to NJ. Diner until 3:30 AM  Arrive home and fall asleep at 4:30 AM.

Saturday: 6:30 AM alarm goes off to head to Carlo's in Hoboken!  6:40 AM, alarm goes off again.... 6:50 again.... 7:05 involved in a semi-serious discussion about how stupid it would be to drive to Hoboken... and get made to feel bad about myself because I vetoed the whole "its already 4:30 AM, why not just head to Hoboken now, wait for them to open and then sleep?" idea.  What I did NOT see on Saturday:

Sunday:  Considered setting alarm for 6:30 AM again.... realized next time in NJ might be better.  Fate made up for our massive bakery failure by providing us with:

Look close. You will see a Rabbi, leading a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony... surrounded by the groom and groomsmen wearing kilts.  It was awesome.

So funny!

Don't worry Mary, I'll get you next time....

But then again, the Cake Boss website says they are filming next season in Italy. I could crash their party overseas!

So much to say.. so much to say, CAKE

SO many posts running through my head!  I vow to take the photos off my camera that I would like to post, and actually write things about them.. then maybe even pre-schedule their posting date so you have something to read and I stop feeling bad about myself :)

Do you watch TLC's Cake Boss?  I do.  And you should (although I was told tonight that after mentioning "Say Yes To The Dress" for years, my mother was underwhelmed after her first experience with the show).  But really, Cake Boss is like Ace of Cakes but Jerseyfied... awful accents, overblown Sopranos-like Italian-ness and really yummy looking desserts. 

This show takes place in a bakery in Hoboken, NJ... an area where I might happen to be near this weekend. 

The real question... do I stay or do I go?

I read real live reviews online, not the TV-padded versions.. and apparently the wait to get near the door is outrageous, especially on a weekend when I would be there.  But very few said the desserts weren't worth it.  I'm leaning to yes.

The bakery opens at some scary sounding time, like 7am-ish.  Our plan, legit, is to wake up at 6:30 and go there for when it opens. All to avoid waiting in line. Then go back to sleep.  Crazy?  Yes.

I invited my mother. Who has never, ever seen the show... or even heard of it.

Here's what happened.

"We're thinking of going to a bakery in Hoboken Saturday morning at like 7am, want to come?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Its supposed to be good, its on Cake Boss and everyone seems to lo"

"No."

"But, its a cool place and on T."

"No!"

"But, you like"

"Nope"

"You don't have to drive, just co"

"Absolutely not but thaaaaaaaaaaanks"

"Ok but seriously, its a bakery and their stuff looks incredible, and its not like we're in town that often and"

"Nope"

She WILL get a cannoli.  And she WILL eat it.  And she WILL love it.  Or maybe at a reasonable hour, we will just go to lunch.

What would you do?  Sleep?  Go?  Go and buy a cupcake to throw at Mary, Buddy's sister (who else doesn't want to do this)?  Go and buy pastries that don't make it all the way back home?  Sleep?  Wake up at 6:30, get mad, fall asleep, wake up at 10 and buy cake at Pathmark?  You tell me.

NJ ~ sigh

As I left work last Friday, telling my boss that I was going “home”, I smiled. She didn’t realize that I was NOT from this ridiculous place that I currently “reside”. Apparently, on my way to the Garden State I drive through the town she grew up in (which is also the THORN in my side ironically… she told me what exit on 84 she grew up in.. that happens to be the very one that when I get sick of CT and driving, I look up and I’m always, without fail, at that exit). We had a little conversation about “my part” of NJ and she just said “that area is really beautiful; I kind of wish more people would realize that”. I liked her even more that day.

Words I use to describe NJ: green, rolling, farmland, highway, trees, deer, shore-Pt. Pleasant variety. Words others use which make me feel all stabby (thank you Jen Lancaster, heart): fist pumping, turnpike, factories, smell, shore-Sleazside variety.

 

Anyway I managed to drive all of the way there, without hitting ANY traffic. Of course, the minute I arrived it was busy busy busy, but toooooooooooootally worth it. Visiting my grandparents, the family, the friends (woot Vittoria! Ps- send her good thoughts for waking up early and making it to week 2 ;-), even the sisters were decent. Thank you all.

 

The main event was the 4th of July carnival and fireworks. This is my annual NJ event and one I really will only miss for VERY important family events. I actually have no idea why we go, since Vittoria and I spend the entire time looking out for and then avoiding everyone we went to high school with. It’s quite a wonderful tradition actually…. But also quite seriously a waste of our time :-)

 

Here is my list of things that make NJ awesome… my list of un-awesome things is pretty short (deer, cops, HS people, maybe more I can’t remember):

• Bagels!
• NY Style Delis that make huge matzoh balls and have pickle bars
• Mandee
• ALWAYS being near a highway
• Cheap gas
• Free assistant pumping cheap gas
• DINERS (mmmm disco fries)
• Disco fries.. I just decided they need their own line

 I’ll think of more and make many more posts on the topic. Trust.

 

PS- watch ROYAL PAINS tonight on USA. I have no vested interest; it is just an amazingly awesome show. Enjoy, and you’re welcome. (Best enjoyed with pretzel M&MS ;-)

Bees Pay NO Rent

"Bee situation has escalated to def con 3"

That is an exact text message that I have kept in my inbox since last August, just because its hilarious.

Last summer we noticed bees flying INTO our house from the outside.. not through windows, or a door, or a vent... just a little crack in the cinderblock walls that make up the walk out basement.  There were a LOT of them... but we sprayed and just hoped they would go away.

Then we noticed some inside the basement.  Turns out, they built themselves some sort of evil hive inside the cinderblock walls and many of them found their way "out" through a super tiny little hole inside the basement.  First we noticed some flying around thinking the window would let them out.  Then we noticed some dying on the floor.  Then, hundreds dead on the floor.

"How big is that hive?" I daringly asked a few times.  No one is certain and the landlord just thought spray would fix it.

Last summer we also noticed a very small beehive inside a window on the 2nd floor (same wall).  That was taken care of and nothing new happened.

Last week, sitting right here at my desk I heard buzzing.  I thought something was stuck in the window screen or whatever.  I heard this day after day but forgot to mention it.  Yesterday morning I heard it again and told BF last night.

He started to smack the walls seeing if something would make a noise.  At one point he slammed between the two windows and a bee FLEW outside at warp speed.  He sprayed. 

This morning I hear it again.

And.

Its angry.

I have a very bad feeling that if the wall/whole side of the house was stripped from the outside, there would be nothing but beehives insulating the structure.

To be continued, I'm sure...