A dear friend commented "Where have you been?"
Well, readers.... I have been here. On my "backup" computer. And sad. Let's start at the very beginning... a very good place to start.
A few weeks before Thanksgiving, I arrived home from work to a darkish, empty house. I walked in and heard a strange sound coming from the office. Knowing that I had my electric toothbrush plugged into an outlet in the office, I decided it was either that, or a robber with a chainsaw hiding in the closet so the sound was muffled.
I rushed into the room, very concerned by what could have fallen and was now stuck pressed against the toothbrush in its charger making it buzz.
Not the toothbrush.
My amazing, 8 year old computer, in fact. Horrified, I checked my e-mail, facebook, twitter, some blogs and the news.... then decided to turn off the computer.
When BF came home, I dragged him into the office, turned on the computer and said "I think my fan is broken".
His response? "Sorry dear, thats your hard drive. They make that sound just before they die".
Heartbroken, I made a decision to not turn on the computer again until I figured out a way to fully back up everything on it, should that be the last time it lets me turn it on. I began to use my slow 4-year old Vista running laptop as my primary computer because most "fun" things (including blogs) are blocked at...work. Because of the slowness, I mainly used it for e-mail and facebook (which almost always froze the system).
BF decided that it would be nice for the season of presents that was coming up, to gift me a new hard drive and new computer, once everything was backed up onto the hard drive.
WEEKS went by. Hard drive was purchased on Black Friday. Arrived one-point-five weeks later. Another 2 weeks went by before we tried to install it. New computer never purchased. Result? Hard drive NOT compatible with 8 year old computer. Sidebar? 8 year old computers carry mounds of dust inside. It was disgusting and amazing to clean.
While the cover was off of the unit, BF had a genius idea to turn on the computer and see if anything "else" was making a sound.
Well friends, the hard drive was silent. Very much alive, well, happy and dust-free. The FAN on the other hand? Oh that was buzzing like a toothbrush.
BF said "So, what do you want to do now?"
"Well, since you bought me a hard drive for YOU, and no new computer, I want you to get up and find me a new FAN since we could have solved this weeks ago with a $3.00 part".
Sony makes their own parts, in their own sizes, that normal walk-in stores do not carry. Sigh. Another week later, my fan arrived from the online order we had to make after driving to 4 stores.
And I spent the next few hours singing to my computer how much I loved it and how its so much better than BF's computer.
Twinkle lit fireplace pics to come!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Bathroom Smells Like Mint!
What does your bathroom smell like? Hopefully something artificial. And nice. Seriously. For the past few days, every time I walk into the bathroom, I smile and smell the refreshing mint that spreads from the shower.
Basically, its freezing here. I'm not joking, if any of you out there actually read this and are outside of New England.... it was "50" (but also dark and raining) on Sunday... that was a freak accident. It hasn't been above 32 degrees in over a week except for that. And rumor has it, we are expecting a nor'easter this weekend. Awesome.
What this really means to me is my skin is so itchy from the dry changing temperatures. What is ALSO means is that the hair salon I go to comes out with PAUL MITCHELL TEA TREE GIFT SETS!!! YES!
For less than the price of ONE tea tree shampoo bottle, I bought shampoo, conditioner and bar soap!
If you are not aware, tea tree is supposed to help invigorate your skin and hair, with some sort of magical healing properties. As long as the shower is steaming hot, and the tea tree is minty and refreshing, it feels like you just left a eucalyptus steam room. Anddddddd.... its wonderful. Its a great cold winter feeling b/c the tea tree makes your scalp tingle which leaves it uber refreshed.
I washed my hair twice the day I bought my first bottle of the year.
Anyway, if you're considering it.... I only recommend the tea tree special. Its all personal preference, but I hated the lavender and the lemon sage was slightly icky.
SO while I am blocked in my house from the many many feet of snow we're expecting this winter, starving because its inevitable we'll forget to go grocery shopping, knowing the probability Comcast will break and we won't have cable.... I'll turn my minty smelling bathroom into a spa. And it will be awesome.
Oh... you already have a favorite shampoo/conditioner and you don't care for my recommendation? No problem.
How about this one? A Burt's Bees Holiday Grab Bag! I already bought mine, and it arrived and it was the most fun thing. Its already awesome to get mail... but a surprise grab bag!? How fun! When the package arrived, I pulled out the mesh bag and just kept pulling out items. I received a full size toothpaste (yessssss!), full sized shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, some other stuff I can't remember, 2 bars of different soap, lip gloss and so much more! Sigh, so amazing. :-)
If not seasonal products/food (we'll miss you DD pumpkin donuts, until we meet again next year), how are you preparing for the holidays?
If you have the December issue of InStyle, flip to page 412. Bottom left. THAT is how I plan to prepare for the holidays. Without the mag? Its a picture of mini white twinkle lights wrapped around fireplace logs set in the fireplace.... seems to light up the whole fireplace and is so not nearly as much a fire hazard as actually lighting the wood. I promise to post the "after" pics.... once I, you know, buy the twinkle lights. Its going to happen within the next 3 days. Vacuuming out the unused fireplace, with 2 lamps aiming directly into the deep dark crevice was a huge success- not one bug came flying out all mean and hungry like. Win!
Stay tuned!
Basically, its freezing here. I'm not joking, if any of you out there actually read this and are outside of New England.... it was "50" (but also dark and raining) on Sunday... that was a freak accident. It hasn't been above 32 degrees in over a week except for that. And rumor has it, we are expecting a nor'easter this weekend. Awesome.
What this really means to me is my skin is so itchy from the dry changing temperatures. What is ALSO means is that the hair salon I go to comes out with PAUL MITCHELL TEA TREE GIFT SETS!!! YES!
For less than the price of ONE tea tree shampoo bottle, I bought shampoo, conditioner and bar soap!
If you are not aware, tea tree is supposed to help invigorate your skin and hair, with some sort of magical healing properties. As long as the shower is steaming hot, and the tea tree is minty and refreshing, it feels like you just left a eucalyptus steam room. Anddddddd.... its wonderful. Its a great cold winter feeling b/c the tea tree makes your scalp tingle which leaves it uber refreshed.
I washed my hair twice the day I bought my first bottle of the year.
Anyway, if you're considering it.... I only recommend the tea tree special. Its all personal preference, but I hated the lavender and the lemon sage was slightly icky.
SO while I am blocked in my house from the many many feet of snow we're expecting this winter, starving because its inevitable we'll forget to go grocery shopping, knowing the probability Comcast will break and we won't have cable.... I'll turn my minty smelling bathroom into a spa. And it will be awesome.
Oh... you already have a favorite shampoo/conditioner and you don't care for my recommendation? No problem.
How about this one? A Burt's Bees Holiday Grab Bag! I already bought mine, and it arrived and it was the most fun thing. Its already awesome to get mail... but a surprise grab bag!? How fun! When the package arrived, I pulled out the mesh bag and just kept pulling out items. I received a full size toothpaste (yessssss!), full sized shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, some other stuff I can't remember, 2 bars of different soap, lip gloss and so much more! Sigh, so amazing. :-)
If not seasonal products/food (we'll miss you DD pumpkin donuts, until we meet again next year), how are you preparing for the holidays?
If you have the December issue of InStyle, flip to page 412. Bottom left. THAT is how I plan to prepare for the holidays. Without the mag? Its a picture of mini white twinkle lights wrapped around fireplace logs set in the fireplace.... seems to light up the whole fireplace and is so not nearly as much a fire hazard as actually lighting the wood. I promise to post the "after" pics.... once I, you know, buy the twinkle lights. Its going to happen within the next 3 days. Vacuuming out the unused fireplace, with 2 lamps aiming directly into the deep dark crevice was a huge success- not one bug came flying out all mean and hungry like. Win!
Stay tuned!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Let's... TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, please.
So you get to work, the party, your friend/family's house, the conference, school, anywhere where there are people you haven't seen in days, weeks, months years. You say "hi", try to make small talk, be polite, wish you were home sleeping, stick around and hope there's food. People love to talk about themselves, so you divert the conversation back to them as much as possible while casually making eye contact with each and every exit, still waiting for the food, and hoping its good.
Eventually you have no choice, you need to start participating in the conversation or the people around you will think there is something wrong with your state of mind (especially not good in work situations where looking around, down, away and walking backwards out of cubicles only works so many times).
The question "so what's new with you" comes up a few times, you casually say one or a variety of "nothing", "same old", describe something great you recently purchased, a new food you tried, how little sleep you got during the last busy week/weekend. Diverting the conversation again, you find out the new food they tried, the new purchase they made, the indecisiveness going into another purchase, that their cat got out, and future vacation plans.
It comes back again, in hushed tones. This time much more targeted, unfair, sure to hit you where it hurts topics you have no interest in discussing again because its all that goes through your head outside of that conversation. Depending on your specific life situation at the time, the first question out of the ballpark is along the lines of "did you buy the ring yet?", "when is he going to propose?", "how's the baby doing?(followed by unwarranted advice)", "still no bf/gf, eh?", "how's the house hunting, its a buyer's market you know", "hear from any schools yet?", "did the lawyer ever call you back?", "how did the weigh in go?", "what happened with that insurance situation?", "HOW IS YOUR JOB SEARCH GOING?".
Bringing it back to the start, did they not ask "What's new?". Every waking moment is spent with thoughts running through your head of how to solve the dilemma at hand, how would an answer to any of those questions not be considered "new" and discussed earlier. If you are going through any sort of similar situation that is considered life changing by any stretch of the word and you have no interest in discussing it with those of whom only have only briefly heard that something is up, I speak for you. LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, please!
disclaimer: close friends and family with sincere interest, you talk to them about it frequently, they know your real situation and how you are handling it, are exempt.
Eventually you have no choice, you need to start participating in the conversation or the people around you will think there is something wrong with your state of mind (especially not good in work situations where looking around, down, away and walking backwards out of cubicles only works so many times).
The question "so what's new with you" comes up a few times, you casually say one or a variety of "nothing", "same old", describe something great you recently purchased, a new food you tried, how little sleep you got during the last busy week/weekend. Diverting the conversation again, you find out the new food they tried, the new purchase they made, the indecisiveness going into another purchase, that their cat got out, and future vacation plans.
It comes back again, in hushed tones. This time much more targeted, unfair, sure to hit you where it hurts topics you have no interest in discussing again because its all that goes through your head outside of that conversation. Depending on your specific life situation at the time, the first question out of the ballpark is along the lines of "did you buy the ring yet?", "when is he going to propose?", "how's the baby doing?(followed by unwarranted advice)", "still no bf/gf, eh?", "how's the house hunting, its a buyer's market you know", "hear from any schools yet?", "did the lawyer ever call you back?", "how did the weigh in go?", "what happened with that insurance situation?", "HOW IS YOUR JOB SEARCH GOING?".
Bringing it back to the start, did they not ask "What's new?". Every waking moment is spent with thoughts running through your head of how to solve the dilemma at hand, how would an answer to any of those questions not be considered "new" and discussed earlier. If you are going through any sort of similar situation that is considered life changing by any stretch of the word and you have no interest in discussing it with those of whom only have only briefly heard that something is up, I speak for you. LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, please!
disclaimer: close friends and family with sincere interest, you talk to them about it frequently, they know your real situation and how you are handling it, are exempt.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Overheard in my life... Taken out of context edition
- "Do you not know that I'm Asian?!" "well, did they say anything yesterday?"
- "Do you think the macaroni is really hollow?" "SOMEONE GIVE ME A BABY"
- "Best Urination Station in the Nation" "The Big Pee at the Big E"
- "Alright ladies, we've got a full house here, and all we need is a flush.... oh you got that poker joke, huh?"
- "Sit back and relax, just don't be in such a rush that you forget to flush"
- "Lo is not the right answer! Cain means Lo!"
- "This is maybe my favorite conversation we've had in 2010 DUH"
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Television Graveyard
Brief hiatus. I'm lame. Hello again.
"Lone Star" was "HUGE" for "My Generation". Too bad none of it lasted.
I have a real heartache for television shows that are cancelled before they had time to mature. This might be because I know someone who is now unemployed due to one such cancellation, or because I was drawn into CW's "Runaway" a few years ago and have no idea what happened to that family after the first 4 episodes. I don't know why but I really do just feel bad.
These particular three cancellations actually do hit a personal note though because before each one aired, I formed an opinion- which I don't normally do about new shows.
Example: "Hellcats"? I should be all over that, but I don't even know when it airs.. and truthfully- I care more about when Maci on "Teen Mom" got all of her tattoos than watching two Disney channel princesses cheer to the death. Apparently its awesome and a guilty pleasure that I would/should really love. I prefer to watch Lauren Graham on "Parenthood" as I pretend she is still,
When I first started to see ads for "Lone Star" I just thought of it as another Fox show to air after "House"- which means I would inadvertently end up watching part of one episode at some point in the time in the season. This struck another chord close to home when friends traveling JetBlue told us that they were able to watch the pilot before it aired... WEEKS before. Hello hype! I was surprised to hear it lasted even two episodes.
"Huge", I just didn't care about at all... and I think that was only because it conflicted with my regularly scheduled TLC offerings of the evening. I do remember making a point though to remember that I didn't care and not to watch an episode in the chance I might actually like it.
"My Generation", I was legit so psyched about. All summer I kept saying "I'm going to watch that!" after a teaser aired. A week before it was set to premiere, I did my loyal research on its website to learn more about the background, etc. I have absolutely no idea why I thought an ABC show like this would be REAL... but being the show's exact target aged audience, I was devastated to learn it was scripted...overly so and full of real actors. I chose not to watch it when I found that out. When a friend posted on fb asking everyone to watch it to save her job- I tuned in. For 6 minutes. Sorry, ABC, but you did this one some justice. And so very sorry, friend.
I just read an article about the 10th anniversary of Gilmore Girls airing. What if they cancelled it due to poor ratings? Apparently the first few episodes WERE met with poor ratings! Trust me, I'm not saying any of these shows are of Gilmore caliber, but I do feel for them.
What are YOU watching this season that is new? Anything? I'm not. I'm sticking with my "same olds" from last season and they take up enough of my time.
I used to be much more "in the know".... but my $10 Entertainment Weekly subscription ran out.
"Lone Star" was "HUGE" for "My Generation". Too bad none of it lasted.
I have a real heartache for television shows that are cancelled before they had time to mature. This might be because I know someone who is now unemployed due to one such cancellation, or because I was drawn into CW's "Runaway" a few years ago and have no idea what happened to that family after the first 4 episodes. I don't know why but I really do just feel bad.
These particular three cancellations actually do hit a personal note though because before each one aired, I formed an opinion- which I don't normally do about new shows.
Example: "Hellcats"? I should be all over that, but I don't even know when it airs.. and truthfully- I care more about when Maci on "Teen Mom" got all of her tattoos than watching two Disney channel princesses cheer to the death. Apparently its awesome and a guilty pleasure that I would/should really love. I prefer to watch Lauren Graham on "Parenthood" as I pretend she is still,
and forever,
Lorelai.
When I first started to see ads for "Lone Star" I just thought of it as another Fox show to air after "House"- which means I would inadvertently end up watching part of one episode at some point in the time in the season. This struck another chord close to home when friends traveling JetBlue told us that they were able to watch the pilot before it aired... WEEKS before. Hello hype! I was surprised to hear it lasted even two episodes.
"Huge", I just didn't care about at all... and I think that was only because it conflicted with my regularly scheduled TLC offerings of the evening. I do remember making a point though to remember that I didn't care and not to watch an episode in the chance I might actually like it.
"My Generation", I was legit so psyched about. All summer I kept saying "I'm going to watch that!" after a teaser aired. A week before it was set to premiere, I did my loyal research on its website to learn more about the background, etc. I have absolutely no idea why I thought an ABC show like this would be REAL... but being the show's exact target aged audience, I was devastated to learn it was scripted...overly so and full of real actors. I chose not to watch it when I found that out. When a friend posted on fb asking everyone to watch it to save her job- I tuned in. For 6 minutes. Sorry, ABC, but you did this one some justice. And so very sorry, friend.
I just read an article about the 10th anniversary of Gilmore Girls airing. What if they cancelled it due to poor ratings? Apparently the first few episodes WERE met with poor ratings! Trust me, I'm not saying any of these shows are of Gilmore caliber, but I do feel for them.
What are YOU watching this season that is new? Anything? I'm not. I'm sticking with my "same olds" from last season and they take up enough of my time.
I used to be much more "in the know".... but my $10 Entertainment Weekly subscription ran out.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Make him pay for it all...
"While he was scheming
(running through a red light)
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
(Hyundai, and honking)
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
(woahh, red means STOP)
So I found another way to make him pay for it all"
(totes narked him out)
My rush-hour traffic patterns have gotten significantly worse since Labor Day hit and everyone is not only back to work, but there are a ton of school buses out there now. (sidenote: why do parents walk their kids ONTO the bus and chat with the driver, then stand there waving until the bus driver closes the door in their face?!)
I've figured out a few additional backroads to beat the backed up red lights. On Friday, I used this method and ended up at an intersection I pass through everyday.. but because of my trickiness, I was in a position to go straight through the light rather than turning right onto it as I have done so many times before.
Let me paint a picture for you.
Or describe it, you paint it if you want.
From above...Four-way intersection. Four traffic lights (12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00). On one corner(lets call this 1:00), there is a Dunkin Donuts with only 4 parking spots (aka backup). On another corner(4:00), a shopping plaza that doesn't open until later(aka empty). On the third corner (7:30), there is a gas station with convenience mart. The last corner (10:30) has a no-name gas station with a full-mechanic's bay (always busy).
The road that I NEED to end up on runs through 12:00 and 6:00. Usually, I am coming from the road on 3:00. My trick brings me around and I end up at 6:00 to go straight through toward 12:00. (3:00 really does back up nearly a mile).
Being at 6, there are some making lefts and others going straight. Those at 9 tend to only go left or straight also. I was the first car in line to go straight through 6, waiting for my green.
Once it turned green, the schoolbus coming from 9 that was stuck at the yellow in the middle of the intersection went. The guy to my left at 6 began his left turn into 9 when the schoolbus waiting at 9(totally was behind the "stop here at red" line), WENT. Like really just drove into the intersection, slowed a bit and made a left turn.
I have never heard SO much honking at that hour coming from ...OTHER... people's cars.
The bus was full. VERY full. Of elementary school sized kids. I repeated the bus number and license plate in my head all of the way to work.
Bypassing real work to be done, I googled the street name the bus turned on to (because I had followed him a block and knew it), found the elementary school it was going to.. and CALLED IT.
"Hi, can you please give me the name and possibly phone number of the bus company your school uses?"
"It is [xyz] and their number is [555-8888]."
"Thanks! I'm about to call them and let them know that I saw a bus full of your students run a red light. Should I also report that to you?"
"[deeping surprised sigh ever] HUH AH, no just hang up and call them right now please, make sure to give the bus number"
Done. BITCHES.
This irked me all day. And still is now. Its one thing to mess around when it can only possibly effect you (not that its ok, of course).. but small children!?
You are very welcome, unnamed small town in MA.
(running through a red light)
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
(Hyundai, and honking)
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
(woahh, red means STOP)
So I found another way to make him pay for it all"
(totes narked him out)
My rush-hour traffic patterns have gotten significantly worse since Labor Day hit and everyone is not only back to work, but there are a ton of school buses out there now. (sidenote: why do parents walk their kids ONTO the bus and chat with the driver, then stand there waving until the bus driver closes the door in their face?!)
I've figured out a few additional backroads to beat the backed up red lights. On Friday, I used this method and ended up at an intersection I pass through everyday.. but because of my trickiness, I was in a position to go straight through the light rather than turning right onto it as I have done so many times before.
Let me paint a picture for you.
Or describe it, you paint it if you want.
From above...Four-way intersection. Four traffic lights (12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00). On one corner(lets call this 1:00), there is a Dunkin Donuts with only 4 parking spots (aka backup). On another corner(4:00), a shopping plaza that doesn't open until later(aka empty). On the third corner (7:30), there is a gas station with convenience mart. The last corner (10:30) has a no-name gas station with a full-mechanic's bay (always busy).
The road that I NEED to end up on runs through 12:00 and 6:00. Usually, I am coming from the road on 3:00. My trick brings me around and I end up at 6:00 to go straight through toward 12:00. (3:00 really does back up nearly a mile).
Being at 6, there are some making lefts and others going straight. Those at 9 tend to only go left or straight also. I was the first car in line to go straight through 6, waiting for my green.
Once it turned green, the schoolbus coming from 9 that was stuck at the yellow in the middle of the intersection went. The guy to my left at 6 began his left turn into 9 when the schoolbus waiting at 9(totally was behind the "stop here at red" line), WENT. Like really just drove into the intersection, slowed a bit and made a left turn.
I have never heard SO much honking at that hour coming from ...OTHER... people's cars.
The bus was full. VERY full. Of elementary school sized kids. I repeated the bus number and license plate in my head all of the way to work.
Bypassing real work to be done, I googled the street name the bus turned on to (because I had followed him a block and knew it), found the elementary school it was going to.. and CALLED IT.
"Hi, can you please give me the name and possibly phone number of the bus company your school uses?"
"It is [xyz] and their number is [555-8888]."
"Thanks! I'm about to call them and let them know that I saw a bus full of your students run a red light. Should I also report that to you?"
"[deeping surprised sigh ever] HUH AH, no just hang up and call them right now please, make sure to give the bus number"
Done. BITCHES.
This irked me all day. And still is now. Its one thing to mess around when it can only possibly effect you (not that its ok, of course).. but small children!?
You are very welcome, unnamed small town in MA.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
In my studio...
Did you watch "America's Got Talent" last night? I hadn't really followed this show until a few weeks ago when a flamboyant clown was on my tv. Then things got interesting.
1. Fighting Gravity got robbed. Come to Boston, I'll buy tickets to see you.
2. I am kind of glad that Jackie Evancho didn't place first. Of course, I know she is absolutely incredible, but she's also 10. She started to sing at 7, according to Wikipedia and really, if she won? What would she do next?! I can't help but compare her to Charlotte Church. Super fame to Where Are They Now? by 19. Sad... but still awesome- she's TEN, came in second and already has a TON of gigs lined up for the next year. When watching the show last night I said "What would she do with a show in Vegas?" I was met with the response "go to school", which weirdly enough, was all I could think of too. Lucky for her, this college essay will absolutely help her dazzle and jump off the page (bonus points, where's this from? thanks Vitt ;-)
UP UP IN MY STUDIO.
Going against the wishes of every member of my immediate family, I tend not to watch shows that involve voting people off each week. Instead, I fill my world with "better" television, ie- House (FOUR DAYS AND COUNTING!!) and Royal Pains(watch reruns until January, its good for you), mixed in with a wonderful weekly dose of American Pickers, Pawn Stars (Mon, History) LA Ink (Wed, TLC), Teen Mom(Tues, MTV), Little People/Big World and Little Couple (Mon and tbd, TLC)and too many Duggars(Tues, TLC). Longest sentence...ever.
The Gosselins broke my heart, so I'm not as religious about their show anymore, and if The Locator was on a channel in my cable package, I'd be there with popcorn. I have also been told that the television in my living room is allergic to Secret Life of the American Teenager, so I just read the recaps online.
And today, the best day ever... there is speculation of a movie being developed as a followup to the best show ever. LOVE it. GILMORE GIRLS!!!
UP UP IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO.
I'm so glad that AGT decided to bring back and make most of the show about contestants who weren't. And I'm so glad that Nick Cannon introduced Spongetta to the judges by saying they got it wrong.
REMIX.
I'LL BE IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO, UP UP IN MY STUDIO.
Youtube it, and prepare not to hear anything else in your head for days. STUDIO STUDIO.
1. Fighting Gravity got robbed. Come to Boston, I'll buy tickets to see you.
2. I am kind of glad that Jackie Evancho didn't place first. Of course, I know she is absolutely incredible, but she's also 10. She started to sing at 7, according to Wikipedia and really, if she won? What would she do next?! I can't help but compare her to Charlotte Church. Super fame to Where Are They Now? by 19. Sad... but still awesome- she's TEN, came in second and already has a TON of gigs lined up for the next year. When watching the show last night I said "What would she do with a show in Vegas?" I was met with the response "go to school", which weirdly enough, was all I could think of too. Lucky for her, this college essay will absolutely help her dazzle and jump off the page (bonus points, where's this from? thanks Vitt ;-)
UP UP IN MY STUDIO.
Going against the wishes of every member of my immediate family, I tend not to watch shows that involve voting people off each week. Instead, I fill my world with "better" television, ie- House (FOUR DAYS AND COUNTING!!) and Royal Pains(watch reruns until January, its good for you), mixed in with a wonderful weekly dose of American Pickers, Pawn Stars (Mon, History) LA Ink (Wed, TLC), Teen Mom(Tues, MTV), Little People/Big World and Little Couple (Mon and tbd, TLC)and too many Duggars(Tues, TLC). Longest sentence...ever.
The Gosselins broke my heart, so I'm not as religious about their show anymore, and if The Locator was on a channel in my cable package, I'd be there with popcorn. I have also been told that the television in my living room is allergic to Secret Life of the American Teenager, so I just read the recaps online.
And today, the best day ever... there is speculation of a movie being developed as a followup to the best show ever. LOVE it. GILMORE GIRLS!!!
UP UP IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO.
I'm so glad that AGT decided to bring back and make most of the show about contestants who weren't. And I'm so glad that Nick Cannon introduced Spongetta to the judges by saying they got it wrong.
REMIX.
I'LL BE IN MY STUDIO, STUDIO, UP UP IN MY STUDIO.
Youtube it, and prepare not to hear anything else in your head for days. STUDIO STUDIO.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
AH MOTHERLAND!
As I slammed my fists into the steering wheel this morning, bit whatever part of nail grew overnight and started to yell at those who don't use blinkers, I could only help but laugh.
This weekend we had friends visiting from The District. One of them, as we drove around Boston doing slightly touristy things, expressed how calm I was driving and how at that point she'd be yelling. ME? CALM? WHEN DRIVING?! Woah. Like really, woah. I had never been described that way, but ohh I reveled in it.
I learned how to drive in NJ, from a couple of New Yorkers. I drove many days to high school with a sheet of ice on the windshield, head sticking out of the window, smashing into whatever rogue plastic trash cans made their way into the middle of the little suburban road I drove for 3 miles... Because I didn't have the patience (or time, lets face it) for my car to defrost. I've also bottomed out more times I can count AND destroyed the horn on my first car.
Did you know that you can do that? Moreso, did you know that the horn mechanism is really just a one-inch long piece of metal surrounded by thick polymer, surrounded by metal, and then more thick polymer, encased in the steering wheel compartment? I snapped mine in half.
I. Am. Amazing.
Don't worry, I'm sure she changed her mind about my driving when, as we drove to the airport and got stuck in traffic in the tunnel, I clammed up and kept asking if they see the light on the other end. WHAT. Ever since the Big Dig catastrophe, traffic in tunnels is a huge fear.
PS- today my McDonald's man nearly tripped his manager as he ran to get the iced tea cup as I walked in.
This weekend we had friends visiting from The District. One of them, as we drove around Boston doing slightly touristy things, expressed how calm I was driving and how at that point she'd be yelling. ME? CALM? WHEN DRIVING?! Woah. Like really, woah. I had never been described that way, but ohh I reveled in it.
I learned how to drive in NJ, from a couple of New Yorkers. I drove many days to high school with a sheet of ice on the windshield, head sticking out of the window, smashing into whatever rogue plastic trash cans made their way into the middle of the little suburban road I drove for 3 miles... Because I didn't have the patience (or time, lets face it) for my car to defrost. I've also bottomed out more times I can count AND destroyed the horn on my first car.
Did you know that you can do that? Moreso, did you know that the horn mechanism is really just a one-inch long piece of metal surrounded by thick polymer, surrounded by metal, and then more thick polymer, encased in the steering wheel compartment? I snapped mine in half.
I. Am. Amazing.
Don't worry, I'm sure she changed her mind about my driving when, as we drove to the airport and got stuck in traffic in the tunnel, I clammed up and kept asking if they see the light on the other end. WHAT. Ever since the Big Dig catastrophe, traffic in tunnels is a huge fear.
PS- today my McDonald's man nearly tripped his manager as he ran to get the iced tea cup as I walked in.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Double Double Toil and TROUBLE
Great movie, no?
I don't open Facebook at work for fun... per SE. I really, legit, only check it on my gym days to see if the schedule has changed or if my sessions are cancelled. Over the summer, this information was posted solely on facebook and after showing up to an empty gym twice, I realized I should be in the know.
Anyway... once I'm in, I scroll through the news feed and such- but never for more than 3 minutes.. and NEVER when there is work on my desk to be done. (unless its 4 minutes before I'm leaving for the day and I really need to find out the gym schedule).
It had been about a week since I checked this at work because the schedule was verbally told and I figured, hey, if it changed.. I'd just go out for ice cream instead.. no worries. But Monday, it was very quiet in the office. A couple of people were in meetings and I was getting dangerously close to running out of stuff to do. So I decided to see if I was still on schedule to have fun at the gym that evening.
I open the web browser, type in Facebook's address, hit enter... and BOOM! Fire alarm. My finger was seriously still fully pressed down on the enter key when this fire alarm went blasting.
"Stay calm, this company is way too big to have a Facebook alarm set up all of the sudden. Stay calm" said my head. While trying to figure out how fired I was, my hands quickly closed all signs of the Internet, deleted the cookies, and locked the computer.
As some people decided it was time to evacuate the building, the computer brought the lock screen up with screensaver on and the fire alarm stopped.
It took me a few hours to decide that I was not the cause of the alarm. And a few more to stop shaking.
I don't open Facebook at work for fun... per SE. I really, legit, only check it on my gym days to see if the schedule has changed or if my sessions are cancelled. Over the summer, this information was posted solely on facebook and after showing up to an empty gym twice, I realized I should be in the know.
Anyway... once I'm in, I scroll through the news feed and such- but never for more than 3 minutes.. and NEVER when there is work on my desk to be done. (unless its 4 minutes before I'm leaving for the day and I really need to find out the gym schedule).
It had been about a week since I checked this at work because the schedule was verbally told and I figured, hey, if it changed.. I'd just go out for ice cream instead.. no worries. But Monday, it was very quiet in the office. A couple of people were in meetings and I was getting dangerously close to running out of stuff to do. So I decided to see if I was still on schedule to have fun at the gym that evening.
I open the web browser, type in Facebook's address, hit enter... and BOOM! Fire alarm. My finger was seriously still fully pressed down on the enter key when this fire alarm went blasting.
"Stay calm, this company is way too big to have a Facebook alarm set up all of the sudden. Stay calm" said my head. While trying to figure out how fired I was, my hands quickly closed all signs of the Internet, deleted the cookies, and locked the computer.
As some people decided it was time to evacuate the building, the computer brought the lock screen up with screensaver on and the fire alarm stopped.
It took me a few hours to decide that I was not the cause of the alarm. And a few more to stop shaking.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Despicable You, Predictable Me?
There are two types of people in this world... those who want to be known... and those who don't. I am quickly realizing that I am very content being part of the latter.
I do not like my picture taken, although I think this is because I was born with a sincere lack of photogenic..ity? I do not like to take credit, but dole it out constantly. And I do not like being a "regular".
Now, what you are about to hear might cause you some real pain. Then, you might defriend me on every social network I have an account on. Then, you might tell stories about me one day to your grandkids "once... I knew someone who was just so gross".
I am a regular. Officially. At.... McDonald's. UGH. I know. I am grossed out by it completely, and any lecture you feel like giving me, I already have heard... from myself. Each time I drive into the parking lot.
Look, its been an extremely hot past few weeks here in the Northeast territory of the USA. And they say you should always stay hydrated. And half sweet/half unsweet iced teas are really good.
Don't get me wrong. Iced tea, half sweet/half unsweet, is ALL that I get at McDonald's. A few weeks ago, I thought I'd try to eat something... It not only tasted vile, but my stomach let me know it was pissed throughout the work day.
When the temperatures really started to soar and stay in the 85-90 degree area, I began to leave a few extra minutes in the morning and run into the McDonald's that is very much on my way to work. I probably stopped in 3 times in the first week. I continued this, and the days when a full family of kids would be in front of me taking their time, I would eye the cashier to hurry it up. (For real? In ANY place that has a menu up, and you are waiting in line... how can you get to the register and say "oh umm, oh, sorry" and not have decided?!)
About a week after the second family of stupid that made me 3 minutes late to work, the cashier began to "know me".... for the next time I went in, I walked up to the register to hear "sweet tea, right? Lemon?". NO, definitely no lemon, thank you. I was asked if I wanted lemon the following 4 times, without first ordering the iced tea. (its a DIY MickeyD's.. they don't know my half/half order... I don't...think..)
Then. One time last week? I walked in, and there was a man placing his breakfast order. As I approached behind him, as the only other person in line, I hear "sweet tea".. and see a cup held out in the air. The man ordering looked horrified... probably because 1. I didn't order and 2. He was STILL ordering. Yes, the cashier took my "order" and payment in the middle of someone else's. Hello extra 2 minutes.
Today? The "regular" cashier was kneeling down refilling the cups. I walked over to the cashier manning the register and said "Hi sw" when I was cut off by the other cashier holding out a cup saying "sweet tea. 1.07, ring it up. I know her already, haha, I know what she orders".
AHHH.
Yes, I feel bad about myself.
I know, there are a ton of people who LOVE this stuff. But it totally creeps me out.
And one day, I feel like I should order something else... just to keep him on his toes. A small smoothie (no yogurt of course, bish please), perhaps?
I do not like my picture taken, although I think this is because I was born with a sincere lack of photogenic..ity? I do not like to take credit, but dole it out constantly. And I do not like being a "regular".
Now, what you are about to hear might cause you some real pain. Then, you might defriend me on every social network I have an account on. Then, you might tell stories about me one day to your grandkids "once... I knew someone who was just so gross".
I am a regular. Officially. At.... McDonald's. UGH. I know. I am grossed out by it completely, and any lecture you feel like giving me, I already have heard... from myself. Each time I drive into the parking lot.
Look, its been an extremely hot past few weeks here in the Northeast territory of the USA. And they say you should always stay hydrated. And half sweet/half unsweet iced teas are really good.
Don't get me wrong. Iced tea, half sweet/half unsweet, is ALL that I get at McDonald's. A few weeks ago, I thought I'd try to eat something... It not only tasted vile, but my stomach let me know it was pissed throughout the work day.
When the temperatures really started to soar and stay in the 85-90 degree area, I began to leave a few extra minutes in the morning and run into the McDonald's that is very much on my way to work. I probably stopped in 3 times in the first week. I continued this, and the days when a full family of kids would be in front of me taking their time, I would eye the cashier to hurry it up. (For real? In ANY place that has a menu up, and you are waiting in line... how can you get to the register and say "oh umm, oh, sorry" and not have decided?!)
About a week after the second family of stupid that made me 3 minutes late to work, the cashier began to "know me".... for the next time I went in, I walked up to the register to hear "sweet tea, right? Lemon?". NO, definitely no lemon, thank you. I was asked if I wanted lemon the following 4 times, without first ordering the iced tea. (its a DIY MickeyD's.. they don't know my half/half order... I don't...think..)
Then. One time last week? I walked in, and there was a man placing his breakfast order. As I approached behind him, as the only other person in line, I hear "sweet tea".. and see a cup held out in the air. The man ordering looked horrified... probably because 1. I didn't order and 2. He was STILL ordering. Yes, the cashier took my "order" and payment in the middle of someone else's. Hello extra 2 minutes.
Today? The "regular" cashier was kneeling down refilling the cups. I walked over to the cashier manning the register and said "Hi sw" when I was cut off by the other cashier holding out a cup saying "sweet tea. 1.07, ring it up. I know her already, haha, I know what she orders".
AHHH.
Yes, I feel bad about myself.
I know, there are a ton of people who LOVE this stuff. But it totally creeps me out.
And one day, I feel like I should order something else... just to keep him on his toes. A small smoothie (no yogurt of course, bish please), perhaps?
Monday, August 30, 2010
Argh to the Highest Power
Today (and most days), I don't like...
People who...
-Lie about stupid insignificant things in their past that can easily be proven otherwise by say, a high school yearbook.
-Turn their back on where they're from because its "cool" (I'm all for turning your back on people, not b/c its "cool").
-Will fight 'til the death, against a subject matter expert, even though they are wrong.
-Make things up and treat it as fact, mainly for attention.
-Talk to other adults as if they are children.
-Don't take hints (and not in the coy way, legit hints, like "get out of my face" type hints)
-Specifically pay no attention to their ability to recycle.
-Offer unsolicited advice.
-Demand attention in every situation, (ie- always reverting a conversation back to them, when not relevant); are too self-important.
Mornings that...
-Begin with the computer taking 7 minutes to start, asking you to reset your password and then locking you out. (for an hour).
-Are on Mondays.
-May or may not be the first day back at local schools, causing more traffic (when do I start leaving the extra 15 mins?)
-Are just too hot.
Days which...
-Are too busy to feel like you've actually accomplished anything.
-You feel too lazy to think about accomplishing anything.
-You pre-plan your meals, only to be unsatisfied by the choices... and still hungry.
-I have to clean the house.
Today (and most days), I do like....
People who...
-Give it to you straight (of the friend variety, work confrontations need not be included)(hi Vittoria)
-Put trust in other's abilities to do a good job
-Remind me that others are the same type of friend that I would like to say I am.
-Are inspirational everyday people (hi VJB)
-Make me laugh just by living their life and writing it down (hi Jen Lancaster)
Mornings that...
-Nah, can't think of anything.
Days which...
-I go to PIYO!
-5pm comes fast.
-Offer good, classy, quality television entertainment (HA, please, I watch TLC... on repeat).
-I don't have to clean the house.
People who...
-Lie about stupid insignificant things in their past that can easily be proven otherwise by say, a high school yearbook.
-Turn their back on where they're from because its "cool" (I'm all for turning your back on people, not b/c its "cool").
-Will fight 'til the death, against a subject matter expert, even though they are wrong.
-Make things up and treat it as fact, mainly for attention.
-Talk to other adults as if they are children.
-Don't take hints (and not in the coy way, legit hints, like "get out of my face" type hints)
-Specifically pay no attention to their ability to recycle.
-Offer unsolicited advice.
-Demand attention in every situation, (ie- always reverting a conversation back to them, when not relevant); are too self-important.
Mornings that...
-Begin with the computer taking 7 minutes to start, asking you to reset your password and then locking you out. (for an hour).
-Are on Mondays.
-May or may not be the first day back at local schools, causing more traffic (when do I start leaving the extra 15 mins?)
-Are just too hot.
Days which...
-Are too busy to feel like you've actually accomplished anything.
-You feel too lazy to think about accomplishing anything.
-You pre-plan your meals, only to be unsatisfied by the choices... and still hungry.
-I have to clean the house.
Today (and most days), I do like....
People who...
-Give it to you straight (of the friend variety, work confrontations need not be included)(hi Vittoria)
-Put trust in other's abilities to do a good job
-Remind me that others are the same type of friend that I would like to say I am.
-Are inspirational everyday people (hi VJB)
-Make me laugh just by living their life and writing it down (hi Jen Lancaster)
Mornings that...
-Nah, can't think of anything.
Days which...
-I go to PIYO!
-5pm comes fast.
-Offer good, classy, quality television entertainment (HA, please, I watch TLC... on repeat).
-I don't have to clean the house.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Overheard In My Life: Super Random Edition
Why no picture of the collar?NUH UH
"Ever since you did my oil change, my daughter got pregnant"
"Shaw's for produce? No wonder you ended up with a Granny Smith!"
"This jacket says [EM] on the tag" "Yes, because its mine! Not yours." "UH!"
"All I know is, he stinks on ice!"
"I feel like Donny Osmond, or a magician or something, and you're my assistant.... and thats why we're dressed the same"
I want one..awww
"Ever since you did my oil change, my daughter got pregnant"
"Shaw's for produce? No wonder you ended up with a Granny Smith!"
"This jacket says [EM] on the tag" "Yes, because its mine! Not yours." "UH!"
"All I know is, he stinks on ice!"
"I feel like Donny Osmond, or a magician or something, and you're my assistant.... and thats why we're dressed the same"
I want one..awww
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Hello Seattle...
Last week(ish), bf attended a convention in DC... and I followed him around. I have been wanting to visit DC for a looooooooong time. Where have I wanted to visit even more? Seattle, the place I should have/almost went to graduate school but instead landed in a Commonwealth for too long. OH, lucky me.. this same set of meetings "we" attended, is in Seattle next year.
Hello Seattle!
(the style reminds me a lot of "Boston" by Augustana... what is this genre that I seem to love?)
So, "vacation" last week in DC was superb. I was given time to experience a city that I fully imagined myself living in since middle school, and a chance to become disenchanted by said city due to its public transportation system.
I do strongly recommend, when visiting a new city, do a little bit of research beforehand and pretend you live there by visiting local, non-touristy places. I found an amazing little vegan bakery, that happened to be right across the street from a mall which had a Best Buy, Staples and TARGET. What do we call this little mecca? Oh, the place I would live. Its called Columbia Heights. Not much of a traveler, I was proud of myself for thinking of doing this.
I tried to take advantage of the free-time I had when not visiting family and friends or participating in convention events. What I learned from the experience?
-There are probably not pandas at the National Zoo. No one I know has seen them.
-DC weather changes faster than New England's. (I had to buy an umbrella at the zoo. I was there 10 minutes and it was sunny when I arrived. I left soaking wet.)
-Sticky Fingers is a great bakery.
-DC is in major need of a Wagamama.
-The red line is my NEMESIS.
-Vittoria should move closer to me, wherever it is I end up living.
-People are really friendly... unless you are asking them for help (re: directions, metro machines, etc)
-The Metro really needs to be fixed. Metro cards can be DEactivated if placed too close to a cellphone?! (I arrived back in MA with FOUR metro cards in my wallet, because they were all broken.)
-There is way too much to do and see in 5 days.
-There are wayyyy too many people in one area.
-Stand to the right, people WILL yell if you stand to the left. (this does not work in MA, unfortunately)
-The escalator at Woodley Park/Adams Morgan is the longest everrrrrrrr.
-Jefferson is cool, but he's really far away.
-Jazz in the garden?! Why does every city not have this magical place?!
-The rumors are true... humidity really is oppressive.
-Orange slices in water makes water taste yummy.
-Underground malls that connect buildings are awesome (oh hello Crystal City).
-Maryland and Virginia are not as close as they look on a map.
-Georgetown looks like a nice place to visit, but it isn't convenient to....anything.
-The Hope Diamond is so much smaller than I imagined.
-Capitol City Brewery gives soft pretzels instead of a bread basket. Why doesn't every restaurant?
-The FLOOR of the House of Reps is a cool place to be. Yes, I said floor.
And I'm back, and ready to roll.
Hello Seattle!
(the style reminds me a lot of "Boston" by Augustana... what is this genre that I seem to love?)
So, "vacation" last week in DC was superb. I was given time to experience a city that I fully imagined myself living in since middle school, and a chance to become disenchanted by said city due to its public transportation system.
I do strongly recommend, when visiting a new city, do a little bit of research beforehand and pretend you live there by visiting local, non-touristy places. I found an amazing little vegan bakery, that happened to be right across the street from a mall which had a Best Buy, Staples and TARGET. What do we call this little mecca? Oh, the place I would live. Its called Columbia Heights. Not much of a traveler, I was proud of myself for thinking of doing this.
I tried to take advantage of the free-time I had when not visiting family and friends or participating in convention events. What I learned from the experience?
-There are probably not pandas at the National Zoo. No one I know has seen them.
-DC weather changes faster than New England's. (I had to buy an umbrella at the zoo. I was there 10 minutes and it was sunny when I arrived. I left soaking wet.)
-Sticky Fingers is a great bakery.
-DC is in major need of a Wagamama.
-The red line is my NEMESIS.
-Vittoria should move closer to me, wherever it is I end up living.
-People are really friendly... unless you are asking them for help (re: directions, metro machines, etc)
-The Metro really needs to be fixed. Metro cards can be DEactivated if placed too close to a cellphone?! (I arrived back in MA with FOUR metro cards in my wallet, because they were all broken.)
-There is way too much to do and see in 5 days.
-There are wayyyy too many people in one area.
-Stand to the right, people WILL yell if you stand to the left. (this does not work in MA, unfortunately)
-The escalator at Woodley Park/Adams Morgan is the longest everrrrrrrr.
-Jefferson is cool, but he's really far away.
-Jazz in the garden?! Why does every city not have this magical place?!
-The rumors are true... humidity really is oppressive.
-Orange slices in water makes water taste yummy.
-Underground malls that connect buildings are awesome (oh hello Crystal City).
-Maryland and Virginia are not as close as they look on a map.
-Georgetown looks like a nice place to visit, but it isn't convenient to....anything.
-The Hope Diamond is so much smaller than I imagined.
-Capitol City Brewery gives soft pretzels instead of a bread basket. Why doesn't every restaurant?
-The FLOOR of the House of Reps is a cool place to be. Yes, I said floor.
And I'm back, and ready to roll.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Winter might be a cold one
I was away, out of town, gone, not here, out of STATE(oh so finally) for a short amount of time, and apparently that means I totally forget to write things down to blog. Woops. Anyway, details/loves&hates of my trip to come soon...
...but for now. I am in my living room, basement door open with lights on. Kinda sorta, halfway expecting/waiting for an explosion.
Since college, my blankets have been taken to the dry cleaners. YES, this costs a damn near fortune... especially if you have a larger than twin size bed, which I do.
I am trying to get to the bottom of a newfound allergic reaction to no one knows what... so I am washing... EVERYTHING. Including my larger than life blanket. In the washing machine. In the TOP LOADING washing machine. In my basement. And its taking foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It is finally on the rinse cycle. When it gets to spin, I will wait impatiently by its side to somehow manage to get a sopping wet blanket that is super heavy dry out of the smaler than its size machine.
I wouldn't be so jumpy if boyfriend wasn't playing one of those shooty bloody, gives me a headache and makes me disoriented blowup computer games.... it makes it sound like the house is exploding every 8 seconds. (I've gone to check on the washing machine 4 times.. )
Hopefully I'll post again tomorrow.... should the house be in tact.... and should I not be shopping for a new blanket (although it IS tax free weekend!)
...but for now. I am in my living room, basement door open with lights on. Kinda sorta, halfway expecting/waiting for an explosion.
Since college, my blankets have been taken to the dry cleaners. YES, this costs a damn near fortune... especially if you have a larger than twin size bed, which I do.
I am trying to get to the bottom of a newfound allergic reaction to no one knows what... so I am washing... EVERYTHING. Including my larger than life blanket. In the washing machine. In the TOP LOADING washing machine. In my basement. And its taking foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It is finally on the rinse cycle. When it gets to spin, I will wait impatiently by its side to somehow manage to get a sopping wet blanket that is super heavy dry out of the smaler than its size machine.
I wouldn't be so jumpy if boyfriend wasn't playing one of those shooty bloody, gives me a headache and makes me disoriented blowup computer games.... it makes it sound like the house is exploding every 8 seconds. (I've gone to check on the washing machine 4 times.. )
Hopefully I'll post again tomorrow.... should the house be in tact.... and should I not be shopping for a new blanket (although it IS tax free weekend!)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The Kids Are.... just ok.
A few weeks ago, a friend and I went to a free screening of the film "The Kids are All Right". It was a spectacularly well-made film, with of course an amazing cast.
I think the message was relevant, the story line fascinating and the on-screen chemistry really fun. I want to preface this by saying I really DO think that I liked this movie.
I found out about this screening, gchatted with a friend to ask her interest and rsvp'd for 2. I really had no information on the film other than it was free and happening on an evening where I did not have anything else going on. I got to the theatre and saw the movie poster. Um, Annette Bening and Julianne Moore? I immediately loved the film. Apparently, being female the fact that Mark Ruffalo also starred should have been the reason for the love, nah.. he's good- but I prefer him in "Just Like Heaven" :-)
A little backstory. I had a small part in the creation of the film, "The Women", which is where I was first introduced to one Annette Bening (literally and figuratively). I had heard of her, but really had never seen her on screen. She was absolutely amazing on set, just as a person and as an actor- very kind and gracious (at least from my perspective) and treated everyone on set (including the 3 year old girls) as adults and well, people (which is sometimes rare). The next time "The American President" was on television, I made sure to watch.
So, "The Kids Are All Right" had my full attention, I was laughing, I was sad, I was interested. The came the butt, and yes I mean that with two t's (oh pun). Like I said, I had no information on this film... not even that it was rated R. With the information given, I really figured it would be a PG-13 sort of night. I would have loooooooooved a warning. Cursing is not a matter to me, but nakedness on the big screen? I just need to mentally prepare. The first sex scene I got over.. but then there was another, followed by like 3 more involving Julianne Moore. I got over that and tried to move on in the film. Then came a scene with Annette rubbing Julianne's foot (oh first name basis? we're on it). It was a pleasant scene with tons of character building. Then came Julianne's nipple. It just seemed unneccessary, and over the top for the nakedness aspect. Would the scene have been any less important if she had remained fully underwater? No. Hhmph.
I want to say that I liked, even loved this movie, as so many others have but I'm still getting over it. I have, nonetheless, recommended it to friends and family (with the warning I would require). Go see the movie while its in theatres, support independent films, try eating local, and do your research before walking into a 'sold-out' cinema.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Life's Little Lessons
1. No matter how nice you are, or how you and your family have been through a lot lately, I WILL judge you if you sneeze into your hand and I see it. I will judge you more and be convinced you've made me sick if you sneeze into your hand, immediately pick up paper and hand it to me. Sneezing into your hand is only acceptable if you immediately wash your hands (with soap!) after... otherwise, follow nursing rules- sneeze into your elbow!
2. Speaking of washing your hands... if you don't wash your hands after using the restroom, and I catch you, I will think you are gross. I probably won't let that feeling go either. Same goes for people who fake wash. Oh, what? Yes, I see/hear you, you "this sink is automatic so I will just wave my hand near the sensor, let people hear the water, and then run out of the room" or you "I'll just rinse a finger quickly under water and people will think I washed". Whats so hard about washing your hands?
3. My next residence will be chosen based on the following requirements: kitchen counter space and lighting, carpet and central air. I am so sick of being hot. Bring on fall!
4. I have zero interest in unsolicited life advice, especially that in which I am called an idiot. THREE times.
5. I should write posts as I think of them and then just schedule when they post. That would make sense, and provide more for your reading pleasure.
6. I am finally beginning to read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" on a recommendation from a genius friend. Sustainability is amazing.
2. Speaking of washing your hands... if you don't wash your hands after using the restroom, and I catch you, I will think you are gross. I probably won't let that feeling go either. Same goes for people who fake wash. Oh, what? Yes, I see/hear you, you "this sink is automatic so I will just wave my hand near the sensor, let people hear the water, and then run out of the room" or you "I'll just rinse a finger quickly under water and people will think I washed". Whats so hard about washing your hands?
3. My next residence will be chosen based on the following requirements: kitchen counter space and lighting, carpet and central air. I am so sick of being hot. Bring on fall!
4. I have zero interest in unsolicited life advice, especially that in which I am called an idiot. THREE times.
5. I should write posts as I think of them and then just schedule when they post. That would make sense, and provide more for your reading pleasure.
6. I am finally beginning to read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" on a recommendation from a genius friend. Sustainability is amazing.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Brown Thumb Strikes Again
RIP crazy orchid.
Thursday- I realized it was about that time to water it again.
Friday- watered it and noticed some flowers were wilting. "Finally" was my only reaction since this plant seemed indestructable. Then I noticed a leave was sort of bloated, which is the only word I can think of to describe it. I watered it.
Saturday- all but one flower fell off, plant has gone to the bad place.
Since I never disposed of the corn plant, one can only wonder that with the orchid out of the picture, if it will grow, bloom, and eat us.
Yikes...
Thursday- I realized it was about that time to water it again.
Friday- watered it and noticed some flowers were wilting. "Finally" was my only reaction since this plant seemed indestructable. Then I noticed a leave was sort of bloated, which is the only word I can think of to describe it. I watered it.
Saturday- all but one flower fell off, plant has gone to the bad place.
Since I never disposed of the corn plant, one can only wonder that with the orchid out of the picture, if it will grow, bloom, and eat us.
Yikes...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
I will talk to myself through you, don't worry
I have taken to calling Facebook the greatest, most amazing, waste of time ever created.... whenever it is brought up, and especially to those who do not partake. Yeah, apparently people like that exist.
Ever notice that people have conversations through comments on status updates?
Have YOU ever? With someone else? With yourself/
Oh, having a conversation with yourself through someone else's status update is hilarious, magical and absolutely noteworthy. It also allows middle sister to facebook chat with you in uppercase (with a million exclamation points) that because she had also commented on that same status message, her blackberry was beeping every time I left a post. Naturally, it made me leave more. Why ask for it? I don't have a blackberry, I'm not sure what BBM stands for, and I am devastatingly disconnected from the world whenver not in front of a computer.... I WILL shove my disconnect in your face, should you entice me.
Smallest sister's status message was: What do you mean the first half of Breaking Dawn won't be out till November 2011.. thats simply not acceptable.
Middle sister: likes this..
Middle sister's friend: wtf?
Middle sister: Yes cuz since they split it in 2 they had to renegotiate all the contracts cuz they were only for 4 movies and had to change it to 5
Smallest sister: lame.
Me: i'm tired.
Me: VOTE ORANGE
Me:. helllloooooooooooo. I need to clean my house so friends can come over and we can eat lobster. that we cooked ourselves. after racing them against each other. b/c thats what people where I "live" do. wooo.
Me:. ps- small sister. do you NOT have a job? how are you on facebook mid day.
Smallest sister: im at work but don't have much to do..
Smallest sister: better question is don't you have a job?..
Me: I DO! and apparently it was go home 4 hours early day! Middle sister, beep!(is that the sound a bb makes?)
And this is what said lobsters looked like. Once they were cooked, I was too busy getting messy to take most pictures, but they were red and delicious as most lobsters are.
Ever notice that people have conversations through comments on status updates?
Have YOU ever? With someone else? With yourself/
Oh, having a conversation with yourself through someone else's status update is hilarious, magical and absolutely noteworthy. It also allows middle sister to facebook chat with you in uppercase (with a million exclamation points) that because she had also commented on that same status message, her blackberry was beeping every time I left a post. Naturally, it made me leave more. Why ask for it? I don't have a blackberry, I'm not sure what BBM stands for, and I am devastatingly disconnected from the world whenver not in front of a computer.... I WILL shove my disconnect in your face, should you entice me.
Smallest sister's status message was: What do you mean the first half of Breaking Dawn won't be out till November 2011.. thats simply not acceptable.
Middle sister: likes this..
Middle sister's friend: wtf?
Middle sister: Yes cuz since they split it in 2 they had to renegotiate all the contracts cuz they were only for 4 movies and had to change it to 5
Smallest sister: lame.
Me: i'm tired.
Me: VOTE ORANGE
Me:. helllloooooooooooo. I need to clean my house so friends can come over and we can eat lobster. that we cooked ourselves. after racing them against each other. b/c thats what people where I "live" do. wooo.
Me:. ps- small sister. do you NOT have a job? how are you on facebook mid day.
Smallest sister: im at work but don't have much to do..
Smallest sister: better question is don't you have a job?..
Me: I DO! and apparently it was go home 4 hours early day! Middle sister, beep!(is that the sound a bb makes?)
And this is what said lobsters looked like. Once they were cooked, I was too busy getting messy to take most pictures, but they were red and delicious as most lobsters are.
This was the only boy lobster... and he was feisty, and the biggest too. Kept trying to jump off the counter we had him on... he just wanted to win the race against the big red banded one in the front of the picture above.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Hungry Hungry Hippos!
What did I do last weekend? Well... here goes... complemented with pictures:
Friday: Work. Home. Sweat in the 100 degree house for 2 hours. Decide to pack. Leave House. Make it to the mall just before closing (addendum: left house LATE), to pick up dress on hold.
Arrive in NYC at 1AM. Celebrate with cousins for 1 hour, head to NJ. Diner until 3:30 AM Arrive home and fall asleep at 4:30 AM.
Saturday: 6:30 AM alarm goes off to head to Carlo's in Hoboken! 6:40 AM, alarm goes off again.... 6:50 again.... 7:05 involved in a semi-serious discussion about how stupid it would be to drive to Hoboken... and get made to feel bad about myself because I vetoed the whole "its already 4:30 AM, why not just head to Hoboken now, wait for them to open and then sleep?" idea. What I did NOT see on Saturday:
Sunday: Considered setting alarm for 6:30 AM again.... realized next time in NJ might be better. Fate made up for our massive bakery failure by providing us with:
Look close. You will see a Rabbi, leading a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony... surrounded by the groom and groomsmen wearing kilts. It was awesome.
So funny!
Don't worry Mary, I'll get you next time....
But then again, the Cake Boss website says they are filming next season in Italy. I could crash their party overseas!
Friday: Work. Home. Sweat in the 100 degree house for 2 hours. Decide to pack. Leave House. Make it to the mall just before closing (addendum: left house LATE), to pick up dress on hold.
Arrive in NYC at 1AM. Celebrate with cousins for 1 hour, head to NJ. Diner until 3:30 AM Arrive home and fall asleep at 4:30 AM.
Saturday: 6:30 AM alarm goes off to head to Carlo's in Hoboken! 6:40 AM, alarm goes off again.... 6:50 again.... 7:05 involved in a semi-serious discussion about how stupid it would be to drive to Hoboken... and get made to feel bad about myself because I vetoed the whole "its already 4:30 AM, why not just head to Hoboken now, wait for them to open and then sleep?" idea. What I did NOT see on Saturday:
Look close. You will see a Rabbi, leading a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony... surrounded by the groom and groomsmen wearing kilts. It was awesome.
Don't worry Mary, I'll get you next time....
But then again, the Cake Boss website says they are filming next season in Italy. I could crash their party overseas!
Monday, July 5, 2010
So much to say.. so much to say, CAKE
SO many posts running through my head! I vow to take the photos off my camera that I would like to post, and actually write things about them.. then maybe even pre-schedule their posting date so you have something to read and I stop feeling bad about myself :)
Do you watch TLC's Cake Boss? I do. And you should (although I was told tonight that after mentioning "Say Yes To The Dress" for years, my mother was underwhelmed after her first experience with the show). But really, Cake Boss is like Ace of Cakes but Jerseyfied... awful accents, overblown Sopranos-like Italian-ness and really yummy looking desserts.
This show takes place in a bakery in Hoboken, NJ... an area where I might happen to be near this weekend.
The real question... do I stay or do I go?
I read real live reviews online, not the TV-padded versions.. and apparently the wait to get near the door is outrageous, especially on a weekend when I would be there. But very few said the desserts weren't worth it. I'm leaning to yes.
The bakery opens at some scary sounding time, like 7am-ish. Our plan, legit, is to wake up at 6:30 and go there for when it opens. All to avoid waiting in line. Then go back to sleep. Crazy? Yes.
I invited my mother. Who has never, ever seen the show... or even heard of it.
Here's what happened.
"We're thinking of going to a bakery in Hoboken Saturday morning at like 7am, want to come?"
"No."
"Are you sure? Its supposed to be good, its on Cake Boss and everyone seems to lo"
"No."
"But, its a cool place and on T."
"No!"
"But, you like"
"Nope"
"You don't have to drive, just co"
"Absolutely not but thaaaaaaaaaaanks"
"Ok but seriously, its a bakery and their stuff looks incredible, and its not like we're in town that often and"
"Nope"
She WILL get a cannoli. And she WILL eat it. And she WILL love it. Or maybe at a reasonable hour, we will just go to lunch.
What would you do? Sleep? Go? Go and buy a cupcake to throw at Mary, Buddy's sister (who else doesn't want to do this)? Go and buy pastries that don't make it all the way back home? Sleep? Wake up at 6:30, get mad, fall asleep, wake up at 10 and buy cake at Pathmark? You tell me.
Do you watch TLC's Cake Boss? I do. And you should (although I was told tonight that after mentioning "Say Yes To The Dress" for years, my mother was underwhelmed after her first experience with the show). But really, Cake Boss is like Ace of Cakes but Jerseyfied... awful accents, overblown Sopranos-like Italian-ness and really yummy looking desserts.
This show takes place in a bakery in Hoboken, NJ... an area where I might happen to be near this weekend.
The real question... do I stay or do I go?
I read real live reviews online, not the TV-padded versions.. and apparently the wait to get near the door is outrageous, especially on a weekend when I would be there. But very few said the desserts weren't worth it. I'm leaning to yes.
The bakery opens at some scary sounding time, like 7am-ish. Our plan, legit, is to wake up at 6:30 and go there for when it opens. All to avoid waiting in line. Then go back to sleep. Crazy? Yes.
I invited my mother. Who has never, ever seen the show... or even heard of it.
Here's what happened.
"We're thinking of going to a bakery in Hoboken Saturday morning at like 7am, want to come?"
"No."
"Are you sure? Its supposed to be good, its on Cake Boss and everyone seems to lo"
"No."
"But, its a cool place and on T."
"No!"
"But, you like"
"Nope"
"You don't have to drive, just co"
"Absolutely not but thaaaaaaaaaaanks"
"Ok but seriously, its a bakery and their stuff looks incredible, and its not like we're in town that often and"
"Nope"
She WILL get a cannoli. And she WILL eat it. And she WILL love it. Or maybe at a reasonable hour, we will just go to lunch.
What would you do? Sleep? Go? Go and buy a cupcake to throw at Mary, Buddy's sister (who else doesn't want to do this)? Go and buy pastries that don't make it all the way back home? Sleep? Wake up at 6:30, get mad, fall asleep, wake up at 10 and buy cake at Pathmark? You tell me.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
NJ ~ sigh
As I left work last Friday, telling my boss that I was going “home”, I smiled. She didn’t realize that I was NOT from this ridiculous place that I currently “reside”. Apparently, on my way to the Garden State I drive through the town she grew up in (which is also the THORN in my side ironically… she told me what exit on 84 she grew up in.. that happens to be the very one that when I get sick of CT and driving, I look up and I’m always, without fail, at that exit). We had a little conversation about “my part” of NJ and she just said “that area is really beautiful; I kind of wish more people would realize that”. I liked her even more that day.
Anyway I managed to drive all of the way there, without hitting ANY traffic. Of course, the minute I arrived it was busy busy busy, but toooooooooooootally worth it. Visiting my grandparents, the family, the friends (woot Vittoria! Ps- send her good thoughts for waking up early and making it to week 2 ;-), even the sisters were decent. Thank you all.
The main event was the 4th of July carnival and fireworks. This is my annual NJ event and one I really will only miss for VERY important family events. I actually have no idea why we go, since Vittoria and I spend the entire time looking out for and then avoiding everyone we went to high school with. It’s quite a wonderful tradition actually…. But also quite seriously a waste of our time :-)
Here is my list of things that make NJ awesome… my list of un-awesome things is pretty short (deer, cops, HS people, maybe more I can’t remember):
Words I use to describe NJ: green, rolling, farmland, highway, trees, deer, shore-Pt. Pleasant variety. Words others use which make me feel all stabby (thank you Jen Lancaster, heart): fist pumping, turnpike, factories, smell, shore-Sleazside variety.
- Bagels!
- NY Style Delis that make huge matzoh balls and have pickle bars
- Mandee
- ALWAYS being near a highway
- Cheap gas
- Free assistant pumping cheap gas
- DINERS (mmmm disco fries)
- Disco fries.. I just decided they need their own line
I’ll think of more and make many more posts on the topic. Trust.
PS- watch ROYAL PAINS tonight on USA. I have no vested interest; it is just an amazingly awesome show. Enjoy, and you’re welcome. (Best enjoyed with pretzel M&MS ;-)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Bees Pay NO Rent
"Bee situation has escalated to def con 3"
That is an exact text message that I have kept in my inbox since last August, just because its hilarious.
Last summer we noticed bees flying INTO our house from the outside.. not through windows, or a door, or a vent... just a little crack in the cinderblock walls that make up the walk out basement. There were a LOT of them... but we sprayed and just hoped they would go away.
Then we noticed some inside the basement. Turns out, they built themselves some sort of evil hive inside the cinderblock walls and many of them found their way "out" through a super tiny little hole inside the basement. First we noticed some flying around thinking the window would let them out. Then we noticed some dying on the floor. Then, hundreds dead on the floor.
"How big is that hive?" I daringly asked a few times. No one is certain and the landlord just thought spray would fix it.
Last summer we also noticed a very small beehive inside a window on the 2nd floor (same wall). That was taken care of and nothing new happened.
Last week, sitting right here at my desk I heard buzzing. I thought something was stuck in the window screen or whatever. I heard this day after day but forgot to mention it. Yesterday morning I heard it again and told BF last night.
He started to smack the walls seeing if something would make a noise. At one point he slammed between the two windows and a bee FLEW outside at warp speed. He sprayed.
This morning I hear it again.
And.
Its angry.
I have a very bad feeling that if the wall/whole side of the house was stripped from the outside, there would be nothing but beehives insulating the structure.
To be continued, I'm sure...
That is an exact text message that I have kept in my inbox since last August, just because its hilarious.
Last summer we noticed bees flying INTO our house from the outside.. not through windows, or a door, or a vent... just a little crack in the cinderblock walls that make up the walk out basement. There were a LOT of them... but we sprayed and just hoped they would go away.
Then we noticed some inside the basement. Turns out, they built themselves some sort of evil hive inside the cinderblock walls and many of them found their way "out" through a super tiny little hole inside the basement. First we noticed some flying around thinking the window would let them out. Then we noticed some dying on the floor. Then, hundreds dead on the floor.
"How big is that hive?" I daringly asked a few times. No one is certain and the landlord just thought spray would fix it.
Last summer we also noticed a very small beehive inside a window on the 2nd floor (same wall). That was taken care of and nothing new happened.
Last week, sitting right here at my desk I heard buzzing. I thought something was stuck in the window screen or whatever. I heard this day after day but forgot to mention it. Yesterday morning I heard it again and told BF last night.
He started to smack the walls seeing if something would make a noise. At one point he slammed between the two windows and a bee FLEW outside at warp speed. He sprayed.
This morning I hear it again.
And.
Its angry.
I have a very bad feeling that if the wall/whole side of the house was stripped from the outside, there would be nothing but beehives insulating the structure.
To be continued, I'm sure...
Thursday, June 17, 2010
My world is NOT your ashtray
This post could also be called: How I arrived at work smelling like a cigar, and arrived home wearing the scent of cigarette.
And I'm not happy about it.
This morning, all was well, running slightly early (one would say running early enough to post office it and allow father's day cards to arrive on time) until traffic on my little backroad slowed to a standstil. One would no longer say post office is ok get over the fact they might not arrive until Monday, and rather- its rush to get to work but maybe have a minute to spare to pick up a muffin type of morning.
As I'm stuck waiting at a traffic light for nearly half a mile, I realize that my car smells, like burning. Naturally I begin to worry thinking my car is about to implode and I start to stick my head out the window to "smell around". What, your parents never did that?
Anyway, I start looking at other cars, and houses to make sure the smell isn't coming from them also. Directly in front of me is an early 90's Oldsmobile.... and after staring intently, I see fine smoke leaving the driver's side window. It took me a little while to realize it was a cigar. For personal and totally sane reasons, I just hate that smell. Plus, I might be allergic to it. Of course I end up behind this guy for the next 4.5 miles, on backroads where the cigar smell leaving his car has no where to go but inside mine. He finally turns off the road and I open all of my windows to get the smell out for real. I still arrived at work with cigar stink in my hair. Ugh. Not mad on my behalf yet? How about THIS: he totally threw the butt of the cigar into the residential road I followed him down. A cigar butt is like 4 times the size of a cigarette butt (not that THATS ok either,ugh).
SO fine, enough other stuff goes on during the day that helps me forget it. On my way home, I'm like "which of these cars has the smoker, WHICH one". Oh right in front of me, but this time a cigarette. And it wasn't a fine smoke, it was like she was huffing and puffing outside her window.
Tell me PLEASE. If you don't want YOUR car to smell like YOUR dirty smoke, why do you think its ok for MY environment and MY air to smell like it?
And I'm not happy about it.
This morning, all was well, running slightly early (one would say running early enough to post office it and allow father's day cards to arrive on time) until traffic on my little backroad slowed to a standstil. One would no longer say post office is ok get over the fact they might not arrive until Monday, and rather- its rush to get to work but maybe have a minute to spare to pick up a muffin type of morning.
As I'm stuck waiting at a traffic light for nearly half a mile, I realize that my car smells, like burning. Naturally I begin to worry thinking my car is about to implode and I start to stick my head out the window to "smell around". What, your parents never did that?
Anyway, I start looking at other cars, and houses to make sure the smell isn't coming from them also. Directly in front of me is an early 90's Oldsmobile.... and after staring intently, I see fine smoke leaving the driver's side window. It took me a little while to realize it was a cigar. For personal and totally sane reasons, I just hate that smell. Plus, I might be allergic to it. Of course I end up behind this guy for the next 4.5 miles, on backroads where the cigar smell leaving his car has no where to go but inside mine. He finally turns off the road and I open all of my windows to get the smell out for real. I still arrived at work with cigar stink in my hair. Ugh. Not mad on my behalf yet? How about THIS: he totally threw the butt of the cigar into the residential road I followed him down. A cigar butt is like 4 times the size of a cigarette butt (not that THATS ok either,ugh).
SO fine, enough other stuff goes on during the day that helps me forget it. On my way home, I'm like "which of these cars has the smoker, WHICH one". Oh right in front of me, but this time a cigarette. And it wasn't a fine smoke, it was like she was huffing and puffing outside her window.
Tell me PLEASE. If you don't want YOUR car to smell like YOUR dirty smoke, why do you think its ok for MY environment and MY air to smell like it?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Oh, hello there: No Sorries
I just realized its been nearly 2 full weeks since my last post. I also just realized that if I continue to "apologize"(and not really mean it of course) for not posting regularly, its going to get old. But really, if Vittoria is back and better than ever, I'm going to have to start to get religious about this. Although not really, but all of the sudden I felt very passionate about that.
Ok LOTS to say.
Here's what I've been up to... in case you care.
1. Zyrtec is GOOD. Worst allergy season ever, eh? I was the cheerleader at cheer camp in high school who was approached by the camp leaders to question me about doing drugs. I had barely had my growth spurt yet at about 5'2 and was still wearing Limited Too clothes. In HS, and they thought I was on drugs. Why? Oh, my eyes were bloodshot, swollen and I was pretty loopy. Right, we were also in the cornfields of Pennsylvania=hello allergens. I have been pretty shocked for about 2 months as to why I've only coughed once or twice, why I'm able to wear contacts and why I am not attached to a tissue box. Then my throat and ear tubes became "dysfunctional" (ask my dr. she used that exact term). Apparently THAT is how I'm affected by the worst allergy season ever. Lovely.
2. VITTORIA IS BACK. And I missed her. Oh, you missed her too? Well I'm one of her "real life friends(jealz?!)", so multiply your missage by a couple and thats me. Yay for seeing her in a week and a half though.
3. Jen Lancaster's 5th book came out. I finally started reading it this week. Start with "Bitter is the new black" and go from there. You can borrow mine. Everyone should be reading her work. I carried "My Fair Lazy" around the office one day and introduced 2 new people to the world that is Jennsylvania. Honestly? She uses "stabby" as a descriptive feeling. As in, "she's making me feel all stabby". Heart.
4. Was at that specialty-ish grocery store again. Picked up 2 crabs. THIS time (of course, because now I know) fish counter man says "would you like me to 'clean' them for you?"... (after the conversation I just had with bf about if he would do my dirty work again and he was a little bit psyched to do it). I ran and checked with him and he looked sad, so I asked fish counter man to leave them as is and I will take them home. We get home and...? crabs are dead. Legit. I actually called the store to make sure they were still safe to eat. I'm not one with food.
5. ITS FRESH FRUIT SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to, it better be soon, have a free weekend day to go strawberry picking. Its one of the only fruits that I love but have yet to pick my own. (of the varieties, that you know, you actually can at a pyo place)
6. Any good little Jews out there? I thought I was going crazy when, last summer, the Black Eyed Peas released "I Got A Feeling" (Is that its name?) and I kept hearing a Hebrew word in the background. NO, not "Mazel Tov", I'm no moron.. everyone with hearing capacity knows those words are in that song, thanks. I kept hearing "L'Chaim". If you don't, listen again. Its at the chorus part where they say a word loudly and then it sounds like a techno beat is echoing. They say "MAZEL TOV!" then, in a techno beat "L'Chaim". I only recently, (its been out how long?) actually Googled the lyrics, and I'm right. Thanks songwriters, you make me smile.
7. I came home from work the other day, sent bf a gchat message saying "are you coming home". 36 minutes later, the following comes through on gchat. Definitely "Shiz my boyfriend says" (courtesy of LiLu, yes I read your blog ;-) material. Totally reminds me of "monkey monkey underpants", which is still one of the greatest TV lines, to me at least).
6:20 PM BF: I'm walking
On the street
6:21 PM What are you doing
Are you even there
I'm thirsty
Dooooo doooo
6:22 PM Walking
6:23 PM I spy with my little eye...something blue
Walking
Ooo I smell grilling
I see the smoke now
6:24 PM I'm hungry
A dog!
Crossing the street
I like the shade
Lexus
6:25 PM I stepped in something sticky
The sun is bright
Shade
Bright
Shade
Bright
6:26 PM Shade
I don't appreciate the color of thay house
A dog!
6:27 PM What's the point of plastic swans
A dog!
6:28 PM Police car, act natural
Crossing the street
Crows are talking to each other
I have an itch
This grass is really a lovely green
6:29 PM They must use chemicals
An orange car. Hm.
6:30 PM Baby crying
I see the house
There's your car, so you are home just not listening to me
Stupid flower touched me
6:31 PM Are you going to open the door?
Knocking
Hi
8. If I posted more, these wouldn't be so long. I'll think about it.
Ok LOTS to say.
Here's what I've been up to... in case you care.
1. Zyrtec is GOOD. Worst allergy season ever, eh? I was the cheerleader at cheer camp in high school who was approached by the camp leaders to question me about doing drugs. I had barely had my growth spurt yet at about 5'2 and was still wearing Limited Too clothes. In HS, and they thought I was on drugs. Why? Oh, my eyes were bloodshot, swollen and I was pretty loopy. Right, we were also in the cornfields of Pennsylvania=hello allergens. I have been pretty shocked for about 2 months as to why I've only coughed once or twice, why I'm able to wear contacts and why I am not attached to a tissue box. Then my throat and ear tubes became "dysfunctional" (ask my dr. she used that exact term). Apparently THAT is how I'm affected by the worst allergy season ever. Lovely.
2. VITTORIA IS BACK. And I missed her. Oh, you missed her too? Well I'm one of her "real life friends(jealz?!)", so multiply your missage by a couple and thats me. Yay for seeing her in a week and a half though.
3. Jen Lancaster's 5th book came out. I finally started reading it this week. Start with "Bitter is the new black" and go from there. You can borrow mine. Everyone should be reading her work. I carried "My Fair Lazy" around the office one day and introduced 2 new people to the world that is Jennsylvania. Honestly? She uses "stabby" as a descriptive feeling. As in, "she's making me feel all stabby". Heart.
4. Was at that specialty-ish grocery store again. Picked up 2 crabs. THIS time (of course, because now I know) fish counter man says "would you like me to 'clean' them for you?"... (after the conversation I just had with bf about if he would do my dirty work again and he was a little bit psyched to do it). I ran and checked with him and he looked sad, so I asked fish counter man to leave them as is and I will take them home. We get home and...? crabs are dead. Legit. I actually called the store to make sure they were still safe to eat. I'm not one with food.
5. ITS FRESH FRUIT SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to, it better be soon, have a free weekend day to go strawberry picking. Its one of the only fruits that I love but have yet to pick my own. (of the varieties, that you know, you actually can at a pyo place)
6. Any good little Jews out there? I thought I was going crazy when, last summer, the Black Eyed Peas released "I Got A Feeling" (Is that its name?) and I kept hearing a Hebrew word in the background. NO, not "Mazel Tov", I'm no moron.. everyone with hearing capacity knows those words are in that song, thanks. I kept hearing "L'Chaim". If you don't, listen again. Its at the chorus part where they say a word loudly and then it sounds like a techno beat is echoing. They say "MAZEL TOV!" then, in a techno beat "L'Chaim". I only recently, (its been out how long?) actually Googled the lyrics, and I'm right. Thanks songwriters, you make me smile.
7. I came home from work the other day, sent bf a gchat message saying "are you coming home". 36 minutes later, the following comes through on gchat. Definitely "Shiz my boyfriend says" (courtesy of LiLu, yes I read your blog ;-) material. Totally reminds me of "monkey monkey underpants", which is still one of the greatest TV lines, to me at least).
6:20 PM BF: I'm walking
On the street
6:21 PM What are you doing
Are you even there
I'm thirsty
Dooooo doooo
6:22 PM Walking
6:23 PM I spy with my little eye...something blue
Walking
Ooo I smell grilling
I see the smoke now
6:24 PM I'm hungry
A dog!
Crossing the street
I like the shade
Lexus
6:25 PM I stepped in something sticky
The sun is bright
Shade
Bright
Shade
Bright
6:26 PM Shade
I don't appreciate the color of thay house
A dog!
6:27 PM What's the point of plastic swans
A dog!
6:28 PM Police car, act natural
Crossing the street
Crows are talking to each other
I have an itch
This grass is really a lovely green
6:29 PM They must use chemicals
An orange car. Hm.
6:30 PM Baby crying
I see the house
There's your car, so you are home just not listening to me
Stupid flower touched me
6:31 PM Are you going to open the door?
Knocking
Hi
8. If I posted more, these wouldn't be so long. I'll think about it.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Johnny 5 is ALIVE!
Remember the papaya incident? Cutting open fruit has nothing on last night. not. one. thing.
Last summer, at Whole Foods, I bought, successfully made, and enjoyed soft shell crab for the first time. I later ordered it at a restaurant and enjoyed it. In the winter, I found a pack of frozen soft shell crab at H-Mart. All wonderful, although of course the frozen variety left something to be desired.
Yesterday I remembered that a local grocery store (think something between the big box stores of food and Whole Foods/Trader Joes. Its not exactly a specialty store, but they seem to have harder-to-find items) had soft shell crab in their weekly flyer. I stopped by after work, bought two and put them in the fridge before my gym class. I asked the seafood counter guy if they were pre-cleaned, he said no, flipped one over and showed me where needed to be cleaned before eating.
After the gym, I was psyched to go home and cook them. Every single time I've bought soft shell crab in the past, they were wrapped individually in a little bit of plastic (this means they are pre-cleaned). I got the pan all ready, opened the package from the store with the crab, got the scissors all ready and said "ok lets do this". I flip the crab over like seafood man told me to do and attempted to cut the "apron". The crab then FLIPPED OUT. This thing was ALIVE. I now had two LIVE crab in my kitchen. WTF?
Boyfriend had a dinner meeting out (and doesn't even really like soft shell crab). I decided that it was going on 3 hours since he was there, it was time for him to come home and save my dinner, otherwise we had 2 new pets. I called, explained the immediate situation and he laughed, saying he's on his way.
He went through nearly the same motions I did with the crab before saying "are you sure these are supposed to be alive? I don't know how to make this safe to eat". Fearing no dinner and actually having to figure out what to do with 2 live crabs, I googled this "How to clean soft shell crabs". Thank you to the writer of that blog for the reassurance that live is good. Thank you to boyfriend for actually being able to make them not alive.
I write this the following morning following the soft shell crab debacle. They were DELICIOUS, I survived, and am sure I will be spending the extra dollar per crab at another store to know they are "pre-cleaned".
Last summer, at Whole Foods, I bought, successfully made, and enjoyed soft shell crab for the first time. I later ordered it at a restaurant and enjoyed it. In the winter, I found a pack of frozen soft shell crab at H-Mart. All wonderful, although of course the frozen variety left something to be desired.
Yesterday I remembered that a local grocery store (think something between the big box stores of food and Whole Foods/Trader Joes. Its not exactly a specialty store, but they seem to have harder-to-find items) had soft shell crab in their weekly flyer. I stopped by after work, bought two and put them in the fridge before my gym class. I asked the seafood counter guy if they were pre-cleaned, he said no, flipped one over and showed me where needed to be cleaned before eating.
After the gym, I was psyched to go home and cook them. Every single time I've bought soft shell crab in the past, they were wrapped individually in a little bit of plastic (this means they are pre-cleaned). I got the pan all ready, opened the package from the store with the crab, got the scissors all ready and said "ok lets do this". I flip the crab over like seafood man told me to do and attempted to cut the "apron". The crab then FLIPPED OUT. This thing was ALIVE. I now had two LIVE crab in my kitchen. WTF?
Boyfriend had a dinner meeting out (and doesn't even really like soft shell crab). I decided that it was going on 3 hours since he was there, it was time for him to come home and save my dinner, otherwise we had 2 new pets. I called, explained the immediate situation and he laughed, saying he's on his way.
He went through nearly the same motions I did with the crab before saying "are you sure these are supposed to be alive? I don't know how to make this safe to eat". Fearing no dinner and actually having to figure out what to do with 2 live crabs, I googled this "How to clean soft shell crabs". Thank you to the writer of that blog for the reassurance that live is good. Thank you to boyfriend for actually being able to make them not alive.
I write this the following morning following the soft shell crab debacle. They were DELICIOUS, I survived, and am sure I will be spending the extra dollar per crab at another store to know they are "pre-cleaned".
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Oh Journalism.
This was supposed to be posted 2 days ago, when I wrote it. So it might be dated. I'm only a little sorry.
Once upon a time, I was a journalism major. Knowing that, here are my thoughts on today's THRILLING cnn.com headlines. (full discretion: Only 60% of the time do I actually read articles. Headlines matter. Yes, I also judge books by their covers.)
On the oil: "Gulf of Mexico oil spill worst in U.S. history" Wait, but its not worst in the world? Do something. Patches only fix leaky tires for so long, use that theory and find a new plan. The morning show host said it best "Want to hear Toyota's thoughts on their latest recall? 'did you hear there's an oil spill in the Gulf?"
On the Internet: "We're running out of Internet addresses" Awesome, and no, we're not. Your article itself says so. And thanks for updating that article to read IP addresses. The first version described the ability to run out of websites.
On body snatching: "My life as a 'body-snatcher' in Thailand" I was strangely drawn to this article and it was nothing like I expected. Yes, I expected a real life Boba Fett.
On the paint: "Paint for road stripes runs out" HAHAHAHAHAHA. sorry.
On the Sun: "Indoor tanning boosts cancer risks" Hey CNN, 1975 called, they want their news back.
On the farm: "Farmville coming to Yahoo!" Oh great. Another generation of unproductive youth. and future employees.
Wow. I don't know what else to say.
Once upon a time, I was a journalism major. Knowing that, here are my thoughts on today's THRILLING cnn.com headlines. (full discretion: Only 60% of the time do I actually read articles. Headlines matter. Yes, I also judge books by their covers.)
On the oil: "Gulf of Mexico oil spill worst in U.S. history" Wait, but its not worst in the world? Do something. Patches only fix leaky tires for so long, use that theory and find a new plan. The morning show host said it best "Want to hear Toyota's thoughts on their latest recall? 'did you hear there's an oil spill in the Gulf?"
On the Internet: "We're running out of Internet addresses" Awesome, and no, we're not. Your article itself says so. And thanks for updating that article to read IP addresses. The first version described the ability to run out of websites.
On body snatching: "My life as a 'body-snatcher' in Thailand" I was strangely drawn to this article and it was nothing like I expected. Yes, I expected a real life Boba Fett.
On the paint: "Paint for road stripes runs out" HAHAHAHAHAHA. sorry.
On the Sun: "Indoor tanning boosts cancer risks" Hey CNN, 1975 called, they want their news back.
On the farm: "Farmville coming to Yahoo!" Oh great. Another generation of unproductive youth. and future employees.
Wow. I don't know what else to say.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
An Ode to Love
Most women know and expect at a young age to find real, true love. They imagine cold rainy days made warm, magical adventures, tuxedos and white gowns. Homes and lives of their dreams come true because they found the one person they were meant to be with.
Most women also know that they will end up having a few great loves. I’m not talking Big v. Aiden here. No, I’m talking Crispy v. Pretzel.
In high school, our vending machine (oh the horror, don’t judge middle upper class NJ suburbia please, we do it for you) one day had M&Ms in a BLUE wrapper. BLUE! The color I just voted to add to the traditional selection, BLUE! How could I not buy it? It didn’t have any sort of nut, and it wasn’t dark chocolate so I was in. I reached into the machine, pulled it out and tried something called “Crispy M&Ms”.
Always the Twizzler, never the true chocolate lover (lactarded), Crispy M&Ms and I lived a great life together. For a few short years, until Mars Inc. put it on the discontinued list. Sadness overwhelmed as I searched for the few last remaining packages in stores as they opened the last cases.
About two years ago, I stopped into a little convenience store to pick up a local paper. At the register I noticed the divine blue packaging staring back. Immediate thoughts entered “BUY NOW” “YOU NEED” “EAT” “Umm those were definitely discontinued years ago” “Dust settling=those have been here for years” “DO IT ANYWAY”. I bought the last 4 or 5 packs. Just as delicious as I remember, and no, I had no interest in checking the best buy date.
Cue last week at CVS.
THE BLUE BAGS ARE BACK. This time, not a rice crispy, nope. A PRETZEL. Even better. There are significantly less M&Ms in a package because the pretzel is large. What sayeth? These M&Ms are healthy! (ha) Less M&Ms=less fat=less bad stuff=no stomach ache=happy me!!
Even the wrapper is adorable. A little scared orange M&M holding an x-ray screen to reveal a pretzel. How can you not try it?
I bought 1 bag. I loved it and only ate half to savor it again later. Ate the rest the next morning. Went to CVS, found out they were on sale for $.49. Left with 11 bags.
This can’t end well.
Dear Mars, don’t break my heart again.
Most women also know that they will end up having a few great loves. I’m not talking Big v. Aiden here. No, I’m talking Crispy v. Pretzel.
In high school, our vending machine (oh the horror, don’t judge middle upper class NJ suburbia please, we do it for you) one day had M&Ms in a BLUE wrapper. BLUE! The color I just voted to add to the traditional selection, BLUE! How could I not buy it? It didn’t have any sort of nut, and it wasn’t dark chocolate so I was in. I reached into the machine, pulled it out and tried something called “Crispy M&Ms”.
Always the Twizzler, never the true chocolate lover (lactarded), Crispy M&Ms and I lived a great life together. For a few short years, until Mars Inc. put it on the discontinued list. Sadness overwhelmed as I searched for the few last remaining packages in stores as they opened the last cases.
About two years ago, I stopped into a little convenience store to pick up a local paper. At the register I noticed the divine blue packaging staring back. Immediate thoughts entered “BUY NOW” “YOU NEED” “EAT” “Umm those were definitely discontinued years ago” “Dust settling=those have been here for years” “DO IT ANYWAY”. I bought the last 4 or 5 packs. Just as delicious as I remember, and no, I had no interest in checking the best buy date.
Cue last week at CVS.
THE BLUE BAGS ARE BACK. This time, not a rice crispy, nope. A PRETZEL. Even better. There are significantly less M&Ms in a package because the pretzel is large. What sayeth? These M&Ms are healthy! (ha) Less M&Ms=less fat=less bad stuff=no stomach ache=happy me!!
Even the wrapper is adorable. A little scared orange M&M holding an x-ray screen to reveal a pretzel. How can you not try it?
I bought 1 bag. I loved it and only ate half to savor it again later. Ate the rest the next morning. Went to CVS, found out they were on sale for $.49. Left with 11 bags.
This can’t end well.
Dear Mars, don’t break my heart again.
Have Yet To Forget
I know, “Where have you been?” I get it, thanks. I was busy getting ready and psyching myself up for a long weekend jam-packed with family activities, a la Tanner Family Fun Night. But thats over now. Let wasting time at work writing blog posts commence. (only blogging is blocked, so posts are updated when free Verizon minutes kick in. get it? nights and weekends. oh boy)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Ciao on Mother's Day
Dear Mom,
I know that you like flowers. Which is why we sent you some. With that, I find a need to apologize. When I finished college and moved into an apartment, you sent me a plant. You made it seem like everyone should have some sort of plant in their living space, to keep the air "fresh". I put this plant, a corn plant by the way, near a window which happened to be directly under the heating and cooling vents. I remembered every month or so to water it, and we somehow managed to co-exist. I even got excited when a new little bud started to sprout from the "trunk".
Over the next three years that plant became a thorn in my side. I would always forget to water it (as I promised I would forget to do upon first opening the pro-flowers box), and in the winter I would always forget to open the blinds during the day.
At year 3, I apologize for having to move it to my new residence in this manner:
(yes, that is the front seat of a coupe, and the open sunroof. whatever, we only moved a mile or so)
Last fall when you came to visit, you tried to take care of that plant. You removed all brown leaves and trimmed brown edges, adjusted it near the window and even washed the leaves. You said it was happier.
One week later, I was given an orchid as a present. I kept the orchid in the kitchen until the flowers fell off and moved it near the corn plant when it went into winter mode. Less then 3 months later (so not normal) the orchid bloomed and flourished. It was only barely getting warm and I had 6 orchid buds ready to bloom. I noticed at this time the corn plant started to brown.
I called and you didn't take me seriously when I said the evil orchid sucked the life out of the corn plant. Google returned no matching searches either.
I even asked if you wanted it to rehab it. You said I should re-pot it (please, like I know how to do that). At this point, the soil in the pot was still wet. I hadn't watered it in 3 weeks, so obviously that was not good.
Now, the orchid looks like this:
And the corn plant looks like this:
So now, my very ungreen thumb and I ask you, how to dispose of a dead corn plant?
Sorry, mom.
-Elle.
PS- when puppies are hungry, or sick, they tell you. I can totally take care of a puppy. Plants are not a "test run".
I know that you like flowers. Which is why we sent you some. With that, I find a need to apologize. When I finished college and moved into an apartment, you sent me a plant. You made it seem like everyone should have some sort of plant in their living space, to keep the air "fresh". I put this plant, a corn plant by the way, near a window which happened to be directly under the heating and cooling vents. I remembered every month or so to water it, and we somehow managed to co-exist. I even got excited when a new little bud started to sprout from the "trunk".
Over the next three years that plant became a thorn in my side. I would always forget to water it (as I promised I would forget to do upon first opening the pro-flowers box), and in the winter I would always forget to open the blinds during the day.
At year 3, I apologize for having to move it to my new residence in this manner:
(yes, that is the front seat of a coupe, and the open sunroof. whatever, we only moved a mile or so)
Last fall when you came to visit, you tried to take care of that plant. You removed all brown leaves and trimmed brown edges, adjusted it near the window and even washed the leaves. You said it was happier.
One week later, I was given an orchid as a present. I kept the orchid in the kitchen until the flowers fell off and moved it near the corn plant when it went into winter mode. Less then 3 months later (so not normal) the orchid bloomed and flourished. It was only barely getting warm and I had 6 orchid buds ready to bloom. I noticed at this time the corn plant started to brown.
I called and you didn't take me seriously when I said the evil orchid sucked the life out of the corn plant. Google returned no matching searches either.
I even asked if you wanted it to rehab it. You said I should re-pot it (please, like I know how to do that). At this point, the soil in the pot was still wet. I hadn't watered it in 3 weeks, so obviously that was not good.
Now, the orchid looks like this:
And the corn plant looks like this:
So now, my very ungreen thumb and I ask you, how to dispose of a dead corn plant?
Sorry, mom.
-Elle.
PS- when puppies are hungry, or sick, they tell you. I can totally take care of a puppy. Plants are not a "test run".
Friday, May 7, 2010
MMMM Tainted Seafood.
Vittoria sent me an e-mail telling me to watch the Daily Show. Apparently they were talking about how ridiculous it is to COVER an oil spill with a metal box.
I sent her an e-mail 2 days before that saying the exact same thing.
Dear John Stewart, I'm looking for a new job.
Also, in what way do these people really think this is going to work!? "OK, lets just cover it." "with...?" "A big, metal, BOX!" "yeah!"
Because you know, no one in history has ever moved, demolished or lifted a structure that a past generation left behind. In 200 years when people (yes I'm giving a lot of faith here thinking we will last another 200 years) are scanning the oceans and wonder why there is a GIANT box there, they WILL move it. Why? Because its human nature. What will they find? A colossal mess. Just as the ocean is finally almost done fixing itself from the first one.
I sent her an e-mail 2 days before that saying the exact same thing.
Dear John Stewart, I'm looking for a new job.
Also, in what way do these people really think this is going to work!? "OK, lets just cover it." "with...?" "A big, metal, BOX!" "yeah!"
Because you know, no one in history has ever moved, demolished or lifted a structure that a past generation left behind. In 200 years when people (yes I'm giving a lot of faith here thinking we will last another 200 years) are scanning the oceans and wonder why there is a GIANT box there, they WILL move it. Why? Because its human nature. What will they find? A colossal mess. Just as the ocean is finally almost done fixing itself from the first one.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Off-Color Thoughts: What went through my mind in the past 24 hours.
-Walking out of Target, there was that amazing snake of red carts that the little cart retriever makes. We exited, red cart snake on the left, my car on other side of cart snake:
"I feel like the oil". (prompt funny looks from others here. When it was explained, and understood by others- "oh thats um... topical"). At least I think I'm funny. Does no one else read the news?
-"I cannot wait to go home and wash my hands, every single person in this building has dirty dirty hands. Its so gross". Co-worker looks at me funny and then realizes what I'm saying. Boil Water Order is set for most of the region I live in, including where I work. Soap and Water is turned off, giant santizing tubs in their place(in the restrooms). Gross.
-On wearing a Holter monitor (I'm fine, really, just let me believe it, you should too): "I feel like I'm wearing a bomb". Without skipping a beat, my aunt replies "Just don't go anywhere near Times Square".
.... Too soon?
"I feel like the oil". (prompt funny looks from others here. When it was explained, and understood by others- "oh thats um... topical"). At least I think I'm funny. Does no one else read the news?
-"I cannot wait to go home and wash my hands, every single person in this building has dirty dirty hands. Its so gross". Co-worker looks at me funny and then realizes what I'm saying. Boil Water Order is set for most of the region I live in, including where I work. Soap and Water is turned off, giant santizing tubs in their place(in the restrooms). Gross.
-On wearing a Holter monitor (I'm fine, really, just let me believe it, you should too): "I feel like I'm wearing a bomb". Without skipping a beat, my aunt replies "Just don't go anywhere near Times Square".
.... Too soon?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Grilled Cheese? Tomato soup is gross.
I am sometimes, admittedly, naive. I get it. This seems to happen more so in social circles than in a business setting. For some reason, I was born with a pretty logical brain and can pick up things in business settings very quickly, along with being able to read people, etc. Socially? Well, it took me a few seconds to realize the joke the car salesguy said about living in tight quarters when we gave a po box as an address. But I try, and sometimes it works.
A few weeks ago at my current place of employment, I discovered that the 'grill-master' makes amazing grilled cheese sandwiches. I ask for mine with lettuce and tomato.
Recently, I've read TWO articles in the "love letters" section of the Boston Globe that referred to hanky panky as "grilled cheese".
I'm sorry.. WHAT!?
In what Julia Roberts movie did she ever say she was going to have grilled cheese that night. NONE. And in "The Devil Wears Prada"? They ACTUALLY eat grilled cheese. Has this term always been around and used in that light? Do people just know this stuff once they reach a certain age? Did I miss the memo? (No seriously, did I? Let me know.)
Yesterday I felt a little dirty ordering my lunch. So today I will be going outside the building to find nourishment.
A few weeks ago at my current place of employment, I discovered that the 'grill-master' makes amazing grilled cheese sandwiches. I ask for mine with lettuce and tomato.
Recently, I've read TWO articles in the "love letters" section of the Boston Globe that referred to hanky panky as "grilled cheese".
I'm sorry.. WHAT!?
In what Julia Roberts movie did she ever say she was going to have grilled cheese that night. NONE. And in "The Devil Wears Prada"? They ACTUALLY eat grilled cheese. Has this term always been around and used in that light? Do people just know this stuff once they reach a certain age? Did I miss the memo? (No seriously, did I? Let me know.)
Yesterday I felt a little dirty ordering my lunch. So today I will be going outside the building to find nourishment.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Overheard In My Life: Asian Edition
1. A Chinese woman (with a thick accent) that I met while at city hall was about 5 weeks away from retiring after working there for almost 25 years. A coworker asked if her husband would also be retiring and what they would do: "No, he needs work. He will not retire. His money is MY money, and my money is MY money".
2. When trying to decide on an Asian restaurant for dinner with my Korean friend:
Friend: "Have you been to [this place]? It's authentic and it's cheap too! Like each entree is generally under $10. It's so authentic that most are cash only, I think, ha!"
me: "I'm pretty sure by 'authentic' not taking credit cards, you mean 'tax evaders'"
Friend: "Yes, tax evaders. Sounds pretty authentically Asian to me."
2. When trying to decide on an Asian restaurant for dinner with my Korean friend:
Friend: "Have you been to [this place]? It's authentic and it's cheap too! Like each entree is generally under $10. It's so authentic that most are cash only, I think, ha!"
me: "I'm pretty sure by 'authentic' not taking credit cards, you mean 'tax evaders'"
Friend: "Yes, tax evaders. Sounds pretty authentically Asian to me."
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Ish My Grandparents Say: Take 1
1. After discussing, on the phone, the recent possible car purchase being made in my household with my grandfather, my grandmother comes home and says "Who's getting a car?". Without saying hello and only half sure of who is on the phone:
"Yes I do!"
me: "NO, you don't! What would you do with it, you don't even drive the Impala that you have, grandpa does!"
"Sooo whhaaaat, I want a yellow convertible"
2. Grandpa (right after the ridiculous snow storms that hit NY this winter): "We went out for a little bit today, but the ice is still too bad to really go anywhere that we would want to go"
Grandma: "I'm a HOSTAGE!"
3. Grandma: "How's your job search going?"
me: "Eh, its going... its tough to find a job that will let me do arts and crafts all day while also being able to use my brain"
Grandma: "You should be a teacher, you'd be great at that"
me: "Oh, add to my list of job requirements- must not have to deal with kids"
Grandma: "I hate kids too! But grandpa and I would love great grandchildren, just remember that"
"I want a yellow convertible!"
me: "No, you don't""Yes I do!"
me: "NO, you don't! What would you do with it, you don't even drive the Impala that you have, grandpa does!"
"Sooo whhaaaat, I want a yellow convertible"
2. Grandpa (right after the ridiculous snow storms that hit NY this winter): "We went out for a little bit today, but the ice is still too bad to really go anywhere that we would want to go"
Grandma: "I'm a HOSTAGE!"
3. Grandma: "How's your job search going?"
me: "Eh, its going... its tough to find a job that will let me do arts and crafts all day while also being able to use my brain"
Grandma: "You should be a teacher, you'd be great at that"
me: "Oh, add to my list of job requirements- must not have to deal with kids"
Grandma: "I hate kids too! But grandpa and I would love great grandchildren, just remember that"
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Dino vs. Moose: I "didn't" see both!
As suggested in my very first post, former potential titles will be explained sometime... here goes.
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I um, "live" in New England. One day (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will happily part ways.. but for now I'm here. A myth that I have heard is that moose live in New England! Not near me of course, I live near people, not forest, and not near Canada... but once in a while moose somehow manage to find their way toward civilization. This article (even though this town is not closeby) made me soooo jealous. But at least this time there were pictures!
A few months ago there was a moose spotted IN MY TOWN! Because only the town paper reported on it, I found out of its existence about 4 days after the last sighting (and there were NO pictures, LIES). But I hope you don't think for one second that I was thinking rationally when I spent the next 3 nights driving around in dark parking lots in every area it was spotted... with my headlights turned off. I heard a rumor that moose like dark.
The lastest spotting reminded me of when I saw a dinosaur in New York, and I wanted to tell you alllll about it.
I'm from a little town in New Jersey, where deer roam free and I have a rational fear of them. Rational, as in 2 months after I got my license AND car, a deer ran into my front left fender. I know what you're thinking.. but I couldn't have hit it, it would have been head on, no? The stupid thing ran into the car, left fur, then ran off into the woods. Since then they've been taunting me by hanging out on my parent's front lawn nearly every time I visit. It doesn't help that my parents are quite the gardners and attract the stupid beasts with pretty tulips. Sensitive subject, trust me, I'm right. Leave it at that.
So last fall I was making one of my many trips to NJ by car, which means once Connecticut finally ends, I manage my way through NY and into the Garden State. For some reason this past fall produced very humid nights. I happened to leave much later than planned on this trip (closer to 8pm than the 5pm I expected), which isn't a big deal.. it just means that I leave in the dark and try not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I know my rest stops by heart and don't worry too much about driving to NJ in the dark.
As I exited Connecticut, I continued until I reached the exit for I-684 (NY speak for the very bare version of a highway that will take you through Westchester County). I was only about two miles in when I realized that there just weren't that many cars on the road. In either direction. No big deal... not to worry that I had a lot to drink and that the only rest stop on this highway is the subject of many a nightmare.. nope no worries. Another few miles down I realized that I couldn't see that far ahead and slowed to about 45... then 35... and when I realized I was the only car on the highway and going 20 mph, I knew there was a problem. The sudden dense fog had set in all around my car and my headlights were illuminating about half a foot in front of my hood. Did I mention 684 is a plateau? Yep, learned that after the fact.
At least 15 minutes had gone by and I don't even think I drove a mile... ONCE a truck passed, so I zipped behind it as if the theory about driving behind a truck in hurricane rain would work in thick fog. The truck left me hanging by myself 40 seconds later. Then the fog lightened up, I drove as fast as possible hoping to make up some time and get as far away from that road as possible, when 3 miles later it got thick again. I slowed down, turned off the radio and hoped for the best as I drove. Not even a few minutes later I noticed a shadow up ahead. (I was hoping it wasn't a disabled truck in the middle of the highway because surely I would have no reaction time.) Since I was driving 6 miles an hour, this shadow appeared in verrrrrrry slow motion. Only problem? It was getting larger. MUCH larger. Honestly? At first I thought MOOOOSE and reached into my purse for my camera without taking my eye off the road. But the shadow became much larger than any moose I had ever imagined. What is bigger than a moose? Giraffe? I couldn't figure out in my head how far away the Bronx Zoo was or why the radio hadn't mentioned an escaped giraffe. Then it hit me. DINOSAUR. Not just any dinosaur. This was a big honkin' brontosaurus hanging out on NY I-684. OMGGGGGG. I slowed down, imagining what the bottom of a brontosaurus foot looks like when I get toward the middle of the shadow, then under it.... and ..... its.... an overpass. (damn fog).
A couple hours later, its almost 3AM, I finally get to my house and there are TWO deer on the front lawn.
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I um, "live" in New England. One day (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will happily part ways.. but for now I'm here. A myth that I have heard is that moose live in New England! Not near me of course, I live near people, not forest, and not near Canada... but once in a while moose somehow manage to find their way toward civilization. This article (even though this town is not closeby) made me soooo jealous. But at least this time there were pictures!
A few months ago there was a moose spotted IN MY TOWN! Because only the town paper reported on it, I found out of its existence about 4 days after the last sighting (and there were NO pictures, LIES). But I hope you don't think for one second that I was thinking rationally when I spent the next 3 nights driving around in dark parking lots in every area it was spotted... with my headlights turned off. I heard a rumor that moose like dark.
The lastest spotting reminded me of when I saw a dinosaur in New York, and I wanted to tell you alllll about it.
I'm from a little town in New Jersey, where deer roam free and I have a rational fear of them. Rational, as in 2 months after I got my license AND car, a deer ran into my front left fender. I know what you're thinking.. but I couldn't have hit it, it would have been head on, no? The stupid thing ran into the car, left fur, then ran off into the woods. Since then they've been taunting me by hanging out on my parent's front lawn nearly every time I visit. It doesn't help that my parents are quite the gardners and attract the stupid beasts with pretty tulips. Sensitive subject, trust me, I'm right. Leave it at that.
So last fall I was making one of my many trips to NJ by car, which means once Connecticut finally ends, I manage my way through NY and into the Garden State. For some reason this past fall produced very humid nights. I happened to leave much later than planned on this trip (closer to 8pm than the 5pm I expected), which isn't a big deal.. it just means that I leave in the dark and try not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I know my rest stops by heart and don't worry too much about driving to NJ in the dark.
As I exited Connecticut, I continued until I reached the exit for I-684 (NY speak for the very bare version of a highway that will take you through Westchester County). I was only about two miles in when I realized that there just weren't that many cars on the road. In either direction. No big deal... not to worry that I had a lot to drink and that the only rest stop on this highway is the subject of many a nightmare.. nope no worries. Another few miles down I realized that I couldn't see that far ahead and slowed to about 45... then 35... and when I realized I was the only car on the highway and going 20 mph, I knew there was a problem. The sudden dense fog had set in all around my car and my headlights were illuminating about half a foot in front of my hood. Did I mention 684 is a plateau? Yep, learned that after the fact.
At least 15 minutes had gone by and I don't even think I drove a mile... ONCE a truck passed, so I zipped behind it as if the theory about driving behind a truck in hurricane rain would work in thick fog. The truck left me hanging by myself 40 seconds later. Then the fog lightened up, I drove as fast as possible hoping to make up some time and get as far away from that road as possible, when 3 miles later it got thick again. I slowed down, turned off the radio and hoped for the best as I drove. Not even a few minutes later I noticed a shadow up ahead. (I was hoping it wasn't a disabled truck in the middle of the highway because surely I would have no reaction time.) Since I was driving 6 miles an hour, this shadow appeared in verrrrrrry slow motion. Only problem? It was getting larger. MUCH larger. Honestly? At first I thought MOOOOSE and reached into my purse for my camera without taking my eye off the road. But the shadow became much larger than any moose I had ever imagined. What is bigger than a moose? Giraffe? I couldn't figure out in my head how far away the Bronx Zoo was or why the radio hadn't mentioned an escaped giraffe. Then it hit me. DINOSAUR. Not just any dinosaur. This was a big honkin' brontosaurus hanging out on NY I-684. OMGGGGGG. I slowed down, imagining what the bottom of a brontosaurus foot looks like when I get toward the middle of the shadow, then under it.... and ..... its.... an overpass. (damn fog).
A couple hours later, its almost 3AM, I finally get to my house and there are TWO deer on the front lawn.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
"How do you like 'dem apples!" Or: Questions Of The Day
1. Why do people swerve left to go right, and vice versa? Followup- why do some people find it necessary to come to a complete stop before turning right?
2. When I clicked on CNN.com this morning and saw this "latest news" headline, "Remains of 2 people found in trash bags", why did I automatically assume it happened in NJ? Followup- How was I even right?
3. Is MSG in everything that is of an Asian food variety? Followup- What makes me crave CPK's miso salad ALL the time?
4. Why is Jen Lancaster's "My Fair Lazy" not coming out until May? Followup- Who else should I be reading? (I seem to like memoir genre)
5. Is it going to get cold again before summer? Followup- Please say no.
6. Why do our palates change as we get older? Followup- Anyone else think banana peppers makes their veggie sandwich taste like vomit?
7. Who else misses their "old life"? Followup- Why aren't YOU cheering for UConn?
8. Is no one else concerned that there seems to be a major earthquake reported every 4-6 days for the last 1.5 months? Followup- Isn't it amazing that mining is still such a large industry, and that there is still no real way to prevent such accidents that happened yesterday?
9. If someone asks how you are, and without complaining about one thing you update them on how you're doing- why do they feel compelled to offer advice? Followup- Why can't it ever be good, relevant advice?
10. Do you know the muffin man? Followup- I "researched" Passover and decided it is only 7 days this year. Take that boils!
2. When I clicked on CNN.com this morning and saw this "latest news" headline, "Remains of 2 people found in trash bags", why did I automatically assume it happened in NJ? Followup- How was I even right?
3. Is MSG in everything that is of an Asian food variety? Followup- What makes me crave CPK's miso salad ALL the time?
4. Why is Jen Lancaster's "My Fair Lazy" not coming out until May? Followup- Who else should I be reading? (I seem to like memoir genre)
5. Is it going to get cold again before summer? Followup- Please say no.
6. Why do our palates change as we get older? Followup- Anyone else think banana peppers makes their veggie sandwich taste like vomit?
7. Who else misses their "old life"? Followup- Why aren't YOU cheering for UConn?
8. Is no one else concerned that there seems to be a major earthquake reported every 4-6 days for the last 1.5 months? Followup- Isn't it amazing that mining is still such a large industry, and that there is still no real way to prevent such accidents that happened yesterday?
9. If someone asks how you are, and without complaining about one thing you update them on how you're doing- why do they feel compelled to offer advice? Followup- Why can't it ever be good, relevant advice?
10. Do you know the muffin man? Followup- I "researched" Passover and decided it is only 7 days this year. Take that boils!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Vroom Vroom!
I was ALL set to decide that Fridays would be my rant day and I would go off about how its NOT ok to run red lights... because apparently thats "normal" on the roads in 2010. But then I came home from work, starving from lack of carbs, to THIS (read below) and it was all ok. After my snack, of course.
Preface: Bf's considering buying a new car. Like tomorrow. The 0% Toyota financing ends "soon". (He knows of this blog but not that I was writing down everything he said and not chatting with Vittoria, so I might have to find my own dinner tonight).
Bf is rather levelheaded, but when I came home to him "looking at cars online", I couldn't help myself from laughing.
6:03:25: He's on BMW's website... building one from scratch
"There is a button here I can press and they will make this right now for me!"
me- "Um well not right now"
"I wonder if I have to mail my car back to them for a trade-in"
me- "HA, its not like they are going to MAIL you the BMW."
"Do they ship to PO Boxes?"
6:14:20: "you know, Porsches really aren't that expensive"
6:14:36: At this point I realize he's comparing it to a Dodge Viper. I compare it to a Nissan and then Hyundai.
6:15:43: "I could totally afford a Lotus"
And then I realize this is too ridiculous and start writing it down, missing these 4 minutes.
6:19:23: "vrrooom"
6:19:25: "vroom"
6:19:28: "where's there a Lotus dealer"
6:19:33: "we should totally test drive one"
6:19:40: "there's one in (town 15 minuets away)!!!!"
6:19:52: "f-in A, this one's cheaper than the BMW, I should really get it!"
6:20:34: "whaaaaaaat it only has a 4 cylinder? what the hell would I get this car for?"
6:21:23: "0 to 100 in 10 seconds"
6:21:35: me- "its a good thing we live no where near where you're allowed to drive 100mph"
6:23:01: "ah they are a racecar, thats why"
6:23:05: "I want to buy a racecar!"
6:24:03: "what OTHER cars can I get"
6:24:14: me- "Nissan, Honda, Subaru"
6:24:20: he nods head no in sadness
6:27:29: he begins to look over some Ford websites....
6:27:31: "mustang!!!"
6:27:34: "mustang salaaaaaad"
That was a great way to begin a weekend of lovely weather, that the east coast totally deserves!
Preface: Bf's considering buying a new car. Like tomorrow. The 0% Toyota financing ends "soon". (He knows of this blog but not that I was writing down everything he said and not chatting with Vittoria, so I might have to find my own dinner tonight).
Bf is rather levelheaded, but when I came home to him "looking at cars online", I couldn't help myself from laughing.
6:03:25: He's on BMW's website... building one from scratch
"There is a button here I can press and they will make this right now for me!"
me- "Um well not right now"
"I wonder if I have to mail my car back to them for a trade-in"
me- "HA, its not like they are going to MAIL you the BMW."
"Do they ship to PO Boxes?"
6:14:20: "you know, Porsches really aren't that expensive"
6:14:36: At this point I realize he's comparing it to a Dodge Viper. I compare it to a Nissan and then Hyundai.
6:15:43: "I could totally afford a Lotus"
And then I realize this is too ridiculous and start writing it down, missing these 4 minutes.
6:19:23: "vrrooom"
6:19:25: "vroom"
6:19:28: "where's there a Lotus dealer"
6:19:33: "we should totally test drive one"
6:19:40: "there's one in (town 15 minuets away)!!!!"
6:19:52: "f-in A, this one's cheaper than the BMW, I should really get it!"
6:20:34: "whaaaaaaat it only has a 4 cylinder? what the hell would I get this car for?"
6:21:23: "0 to 100 in 10 seconds"
6:21:35: me- "its a good thing we live no where near where you're allowed to drive 100mph"
6:23:01: "ah they are a racecar, thats why"
6:23:05: "I want to buy a racecar!"
6:24:03: "what OTHER cars can I get"
6:24:14: me- "Nissan, Honda, Subaru"
6:24:20: he nods head no in sadness
6:27:29: he begins to look over some Ford websites....
6:27:31: "mustang!!!"
6:27:34: "mustang salaaaaaad"
That was a great way to begin a weekend of lovely weather, that the east coast totally deserves!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Story of Passover, not so much
Somewhere in the last few weeks, I made an unconcious decision to walk around Whole Foods and find "new" "exotic" fruits to try. One day, it was a mango, then a champagne mango (super sweet and delicious), another day it was a papaya. Its always an interesting experience to figure out how to cut open and slice the new fruits for eating, which usually brings on laughter from the boyfriend. Whatever, its totally youtube worthy.
On the papaya day(aka Monday), my local store happened to finally get in a seasonal fish(winter is boring, same fish every day!). So dinner (for me) was striped bass, corn and some papaya. Result? Um, papaya=not too tasty if not mixed with other tropical fruits in sugar water and vacuum packed into a can (mission failed).
It is Passover, and I choose to go the not-so-traditional path of "if it rises, I won't eat it but corn syrup is fine b/c if the Jews leaving Egypt HAD a way to preserve food with high fructose corn syrup they would have been happier, thus they WANT me to eat it". The boyfriend wanted haddock with ritz cracker coating, I made it with my fish and tried some of his (its just too good not to, plus I started Passover a day early so I decided I deserved the 3 bites I took...AND he doesn't even follow Passover). Apparently the side of corn is also actually a Passover no-no? I hadn't made the connection that if corn syrup=bad, then real corn was too. Oops.
This brings us to Tuesday morning when I awoke with 2 swollen eyelids and hives on my arms and back.
Replay this converstion to sister about 2 hours later:
So that night I went to a different grocery store and bought a pineapple. An obvious solution.
On the papaya day(aka Monday), my local store happened to finally get in a seasonal fish(winter is boring, same fish every day!). So dinner (for me) was striped bass, corn and some papaya. Result? Um, papaya=not too tasty if not mixed with other tropical fruits in sugar water and vacuum packed into a can (mission failed).
It is Passover, and I choose to go the not-so-traditional path of "if it rises, I won't eat it but corn syrup is fine b/c if the Jews leaving Egypt HAD a way to preserve food with high fructose corn syrup they would have been happier, thus they WANT me to eat it". The boyfriend wanted haddock with ritz cracker coating, I made it with my fish and tried some of his (its just too good not to, plus I started Passover a day early so I decided I deserved the 3 bites I took...AND he doesn't even follow Passover). Apparently the side of corn is also actually a Passover no-no? I hadn't made the connection that if corn syrup=bad, then real corn was too. Oops.
This brings us to Tuesday morning when I awoke with 2 swollen eyelids and hives on my arms and back.
- me- "Its not the bass, I've had fish like that before"
- boyfriend- "but not THAT fish"
- me- "papaya?"
- boyfriend- "maybe!"
- me- "NO! OMG! I am being punished, I had Ritz during Passover! I did this to myself, oh crap"
- boyfriend- "You are NOT being smited!"
- me- "YES, I ate the Ritz fish!"
- boyfriend- "Why would it bother you now and not all the other times you've had it?"
- me- "I don't know, 'Why is this night different from all other nights?'"
Replay this converstion to sister about 2 hours later:
- sister- "its possible, boils IS a plague!"
So that night I went to a different grocery store and bought a pineapple. An obvious solution.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Will the real Elle please stand up?! What's my name again, Whats my name again.
Helllllllllllllo world. I'm Elle (short for Arielle) and this is a blog. Ah yes, a blog. I love blogs, mainly other people's. Quite a while back, a friend, convinced that I am funny sometimes, suggested that I write my own. "Nah, what could I have to say that anyone would want to read?". A good year went by and I started to think of potential posts in my head, written out word for word, on imaginary paper. Those posts, of course, are gone for good, sorry. But since I think I'm doing this now, here goes!
Here's what you should know about this page:
After making the conscious decision to write this thing, I needed a name! Here was what could have been:
Here's what you should know about this page:
- I have no idea what this blog will turn into down the road, or tomorrow, or in an hour. I might get creative with pictures, I might not. I might be insightful but most likely there are just a ton of things I witness that I want to tell the world. And I don't have enough facebook friends to do that.
After making the conscious decision to write this thing, I needed a name! Here was what could have been:
- Ish My Grandparents Say
- Life Without Puppy
- Dinos Live On NY684
- I Wear Emotions On My Face
- Carnivals Are My Happy Place
- I like Pretty Things
- Twizzlers Help Me Function
- Why Are Other People ALWAYS Where I Am?!
- I Turned My Back On Hollywood
- Age-Guessing Carnies Are My Heros
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